Tell me something funny

[jaylach56 173]

 

[gimme30]

 

[gimme30]

Just had a dealer try to sell me a piece of stone he said was from Ireland and kissed by St Patrick. When I looked underneath it said ‘Made in China.'
Obviously a sham rock.

Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Because they’re usually a little short.

A police officer stopped a man and searched his pockets. He found a bag of weed.
“What have we here?”
“It’s not mine officer.” He scoffs. “I’m serious! I was cursed by a leprechaun, you know what scallywags they are. Now, every single time I flush this chronic down the toilet it magically reappears in my pocket.”
“Bull!”
“Try me!” The police officer frowns but follows him as they head to the bathroom in this cafe. The man takes out the cannabis and flushes it down the crapper. The officer checks the man’s pocket and asks, “So where’s the bag of weed?”
“What bag of weed?”

Happy St. Patrick's Day TFF!

 

[jaylach56 173]

The TRUE definition of the word 'politics'.

We know that Poly (poli) is Greek for many or multiple. We also know that ticks (tics) are blood sucking insects... Sad how well that actually fits...

 

[jaylach56 173]

What if AI, Sci-Fi and Rock-N-Roll gets together?

 

[jaylach56 173]

 

[jaylach56 173]

 

[TwoTankAmin49]

This story is mostly or Americans.

A man walks into a bar with a dog and sits down on a stool. The bartender comes over asks the man what he wants to drink. The man replies. "Sir, I am a bit short of cash but my dog here, Brat is his name, is the world's only talking dog. He is partial to beer and he is very thirsty." The bartender, sure he is being played, makes the man an offer.

"Mister," he says "if you can make that dog talk, both you and he can drink for free all night." So the man pick up Bart and sits him on the adjacent stool. He turns to the dog and asks, "Bart, what is on top of a house"? And the dog goes , "Roof!" The bar tender is not impressed, and makes this clear. So the man then asks, "Bart, how does sandpaper feel? and the dog responds, "Ruff!"

By this time the bartender is not happy at all and in a loud voice asks, "Mister, how dumb do you think I am?"
The man pleads, "Let me ask him one more question and you will see for sure." The bartender nods but warns the man if the he tries to pull more funny business, he and the dog are gone. So the man then asks, "Bart, who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" to which the dog responds. "Roof" Now the bartender is really ticked off and he motions the bouncer over and tells him to throw the man and the dog out of the place.

As the man is lying in the gutter, the dog looks down at him from the curb and says, "Well, what did you expect me to say, DiMaggio?"

 

[jaylach56 173]

 

[gimme30]

 

[WhistlingBadger52 7]

A genetic engineer crossed a homing pigeon with an alligator.
I bet that'll come back to bite him.

By the way, anybody heard from Juice lately?

 

[Rocky99835]

A genetic engineer crossed a homing pigeon with an alligator.
I bet that'll come back to bite him.

By the way, anybody heard from Juice lately?

Yeah, we spoke not long ago actually. She might be more active on other platforms if you're trying to get in touch with her.

 

[WhistlingBadger52 7]

 

[WhistlingBadger52 7]

I'm upping my game next time I have playground duty...

 

[OMG_FL]