Tell me something funny

[jaylach]

 

[WhistlingBadger]

View attachment 375918

Go to your room.

 

[jaylach]

Go to your room.

Do you REALLY think that would stop me? Hmmmn, OK, I go to my room which I take as bedroom but I have two computers there.

 

[gimme30]

Ok, last truck pic, I promise!

 

[gimme30]

A beauftiful woman loved growing tomatoes but couldn't seem to get them to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

The gentleman responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden buck naked. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

The woman didn't know if he was kidding or not but was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"

"No," she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous!"

 

[Rusty_Shackleford]

I only date homeless women.

Because when the date is over you can just drop them off anywhere.

 

[TwoTankAmin]

Then there was the Buddhist who walked up to the hot dog vendor and said, "Make me one with everything."

 

[gimme30]

 

[WhistlingBadger]

Never criticize anyone until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away. And you'll have their shoes.
--Jack Handy

 

[TwoTankAmin]

 

[gimme30]

The Indian Hills signs are so funny, total dad jokes. They always draw a crowd when they change the signs.

 

[Rusty_Shackleford]

I burnt the crap out of my hand last night.

 

[Magnum Man]

ouch.... where is the joke here... I expected a happy face burn mark, or the word crap, branded into your hand..

done similar, several times, each time I've said "I won't do that again"... but I do

unusual mark., what were you doing???

 

[Fishmanic]

The Indian Hills signs are so funny, total dad jokes. They always draw a crowd when they change the signs.

View attachment 376904 View attachment 376905
View attachment 376906View attachment 376907

They should have added this emoticon to the Popeyes sign .

 

[Rusty_Shackleford]

ouch.... where is the joke here... I expected a happy face burn mark, or the word crap, branded into your hand..

done similar, several times, each time I've said "I won't do that again"... but I do

unusual mark., what were you doing???

I was making an apple honey glazed pork tenderloin. I browned it in a skillet then put it in the oven to roast. I took it out with potholder to flip the meat. I was struggling with the meat so by instinct I grabbed the handle of the pan to steady it and burned myself.
The pork was delicious.