Can We All Stop Jumping On Everyone?

I think unasked for advice badly offered is like door to door evangelism. It's a waste of time and breath if the people don't want to listen.

There is an old German saying, "A man convinced against his will remains unpersuaded still." It is a good piece of wisdom.

Answer the persons questions, try to offer some fishy wisdom. But I think we overstep our license when we insist on giving unwanted advice. Not that we need to lie about what we think.

In the Betta forum when a youth comes in with a VT and wants to breed him. It takes time and patience to lead the horse to water, let alone get him to drink. But the member that comes along side and answers the questions honestly and directly, will soon earn trust and may prevent a couple of dead fish for CFC's blender.

:lol: I like it.

However I don't think that we should ONLY answer questions that the person wants to give, if a situation is staring you in the face and will only get worse I (personally) am not going to sit back and just tell the guy what he wants to hear.

For example, someone posts a picture of their tank, it's, lets say, 100g, and there are about 4 oscars in there, amongst other things. They say they want an opinion on their new substrate. I would not sit back and ignore the fact that there are 4 oscars is this tank by any means, they've got to know!

basically my opinion is outlined in the following:
In most cases, the person (in response to someone telling them about the oscars etc) would take on board the advice with no offence taken, some people would see this as offensive, maybe in the better cases, say "oh, they look happy though" rejecting the advice given, THEN people might be like "hang on...." and then gradually the debate escalates to an argument. In A TINY FRACTION of cases in immendiate response to the thread starters first post someone would come along and immediatley say "OMG WHAT ARE YOU? NUTS? YOU ARE SO CRUEL BLAH BLAH BLHA HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF YOU WERE CRAMPED UP" etc.

Basically, I think people are jumping to conclusions, taking things the wrong way, and rejecting good advice, in most cases. I'm not saying that this "jumping" business isn't out there, it's just not such as big problem as alot of you think.


In the Betta forum when a youth comes in with a VT and wants to breed him

not always the youths you know ;)
 
Actually I don't even see this as a debate. This is "chit chat". People just exchanging their views. I like to chat with CFC and exchange Ideas with Wilder and Black Angel--and you all!
 
As long as it stays on topic and doesnt end up in arguements then I am happy to watch it.
I dont know about the other mods thoughts on this thread though.

Its good to talk :good:
 
:D Hi Black Angel!

I can't disagree with that geo. It is the little foxes that spoil the grapes. Some people just have "issues" I think.

It is why Black Angel and CFC and others stop by a thread like this. It so often breaks into flames started by the FIRE! yellers
 
Recently I have seen very knowledgable members (so its not like they dont know themselves) especially in the pics section replying to some people's horribly overstocked tanks etc etc, and just saying something like "love your tank, looks great" and they are doing this just to be a "goody two shoes" and not cause an argument. HELLO???

Did it ever occur to you and others here that maybe ripping into someone about how overstocked their tank is, is no better than saying "love your tank, looks great"

For a lot of people the only source of information they get is from their lfs...and we all know how reliable those members of staff are in general.
So a new member comes on here looking to learn more and posts a picture of their tank. Suddenly people rip into them about how inhumane they are etc etc...well if that isn't reason to leave and never come back then I don't know what is. And what exactly have you done at this point? Have you educated that member into a better understanding of how to keep his or her fish or helped their fish?... no you haven't. All you've done is scare another newbie into never returning and creating an enviroment that turns people away from wanting to keep fish. Fishkeepng isn't an elitist club, you should be helping to promote this hobby and open it up for all.

Much better imo would be to help that person, without sounding like a know-it-all and trying to help them and inturn help their fish. Whether of course they listen is a differnt matter but at least you can rest safe in the knowledge that you tried which is far better than the feeling of ripping into someone about their tank.

So advising someone their tank is too small is wrong, but we're still to "help that person". How do we help them without telling them their tank is too small?

What's more important, the well being of the fish or someone's feelings? If they honestly want to learn they'd accept constructive criticism, if they dont want to learn - why worry if they leave the forum - they obviously dont need to be here if they dont want to learn! :rolleyes: If they only joined for folks to say "Kewl fsh tnk!", ratemyfish.com (or whatever it's called) would be a better destination for them surely?
 
What i find annoying is that like CFC, other knowledgeable people that you want to speak to and have advice from, stop answering because they're so fed up of blah blah blah.

TBH i haven't seen much flaming and "ripping into each other" except one incident, but that was the questioner attacking the adviser so..

"oh, they look happy though"

I've seen that sooooo many times!!!!

They say they want an opinion on their new substrate.

I never understood that. It's a matter of opinion...and does it really matter? Apart from is it sand or gravel if they have say cories or eels. It's like. "Do you like this shade of blue?" :/

But thats off topic lol
 
reading some posts tho some people can be abit harsh to questions that may be commonly asked but the new members need to know. these may be posted somewhere else but its sometimes difficult to find where they are located!!!
Yeah, it's really hard to notice all those threads pinned at the top of the relevant sections ;)

not all the threads people want are posted at the top of the relevant sections. but IMO its sarcastic comments like that which dont help!!! :hey: :sly: :lol:
 
:lol: Goodnight, all. Everyone play nice now. I have play sand for the good boys and girls! :fun:
 
It is why Black Angel and CFC and others stop by a thread like this. It so often breaks into flames started by the FIRE! yellers
Haha, very true. When I saw it, I immediately came in. I guess while I'm here, I might as well add in my opinion. :p

I generally find this to be a very nice forum. I've been here for almost three years, and most posts I scan during the day seem pretty polite. Maybe I'm too easygoing, I don't know. But I don't have an issue with most of the replies.

I also think it comes down to people's styles. Obviously, we are not all the same. Some of us are going to be the ones who will take a long time to type everything out, read it a few times to make sure it sounds good, and add a smiley at the end of every post. Others tend to cut right to the point. Neither style is right or wrong. Sometimes the more abrupt styles can be seen as rude, but I think it's just their style. You can't change people, no matter how hard you try. Being a little open-minded, and accepting that not everyone is the same as you, and has the same style as you, can go a long way.

Agreed, there are some people who flame unnecessarily, but as mentioned, the report button is a click away. We'll deal with it. I think a lot of the issues come from people who get angry with the flammer/troller, and then the whole thread just goes down in flames (no pun intended), with everyone insulting back and forth. Please, just report it. Or PM a mod who is online.

Also - in reply to some of the newer members being jumped on. I think some of the older members get tired of seeing the same questions over and over again, when a lot of the answers are in the pinned topics. I know that I at least get sick of seeing some of the same questions, day after day after day. But I always try to remember that I was once in that place too, and there were some polite people who helped me out. Sometimes, I just won't reply right away. I'll come back when I feel I can give a better answer.

I have play sand for the good boys and girls!
:hyper:
 
CFC's comment concerns me! It must be remembered that the main repository of knowledge, on this forum, is the more experienced and older members. if the style of the forum is driving them away, it is something that should concern us all. Personally i think that their reticence to post, will in the end, inevitably cause a decline in the quality of both the information and membership.
 
CFC's comment concerns me! It must be remembered that the main repository of knowledge, on this forum, is the more experienced and older members. if the style of the forum is driving them away, it is something that should concern us all. Personally i think that their reticence to post, will in the end, inevitably cause a decline in the quality of both the information and membership.

I agree. I foresee (sp?) trouble ahead.
 
I do too.
It's been a very good site, but lately it's not the same, to much anger going on and its not needed.
 

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