Mts And Spouses That Just Don't Understand

[Kombat]

How do some of you deal with spouses that don't understand our hobby? I had a fight over the weekend with my wife. We have 4 tanks, but 3 of them are "only" 5-gallon Betta tanks. First, the fight was about more than one tank in a room. I want to get a 75 gallon tank for the family room and move the 29 gallon tank to the living room, which already has a Betta tank on the computer desk. She thinks it is weird and obsessive-compulsive to want more than 1 tank in a room. She also doesn't want a tank in the bedroom which I want, which I guess I conceded to her.

So what strategies do you employ or any advice you can give me and others in my situation to help deal with spouses that just don't understand? I want more bigger tanks but I need to convince her somehow. I would give up a Betta tank, but two of them are in kids rooms (not an easy sell), and the other was a present from her so I can't get rid of that one.

Thanks,
Karl

 

[Miss Wiggle]

get a new spouse

just kidding

are there any fish that she does like? tried taking her round some impressive public aquariums to see what fish she likes, hope she picks small ones and you can keep them at home.

i honestly think the best way to bring her round is to get her involved and interested. yeah she may never have the bug that you have but if you can find just one little thing in fishkeeping that she likes you've your foot in the door so to speak, get her the thing that she likes then it's softly softly catchy monkey, bide your time and let her take interest in other aspects or other fish

 

[england]

sulk sulk sulk

 

[Miss Wiggle]

or alternativley, but the tanks etc that you want but also buy lots of shoes, everytime she starts to get upset over the tanks give her a pair of shoes.

it'd keep me quiet

 

[Lynda B]

I am so fortunate in that my husband and I both have tanks. I can't imagine having a spouse give me headaches over it. I feel for you.

Try to figure out what it is about the tanks that she doesn't like? Do you keep them up well so that there's no odor? Do you keep all your fish stuff (food, test kit, meds, etc.) out in the open? Is it clutter that bothers her? Is it that she doesn't like your particular fish? Would she be interested in adding a fish or two to your tank? Something she really likes? Work with her on what exactly it is that she hates so much and perhaps you can turn her over to the dark side, where we've all gone.....

Or um.... heaven forbid, perhaps you pay more attention to your fish than you do her? Tsk tsk.... time to take the wifey out to a nice dinner and movie.....

 

[AmberMc]

I have the same problem with my boyfriend. We don't live together yet, but I'm sure it'll cause grief if we ever make that commitment. He already whines about how much time I spend with my fish - jealousy at it's finest. I started letting him pick out the fish, and he has his own set-up at my place, and that loosened him up a bit - maybe it's worth a shot?

 

[Kombat]

get a new spouse

just kidding

are there any fish that she does like? tried taking her round some impressive public aquariums to see what fish she likes, hope she picks small ones and you can keep them at home.

i honestly think the best way to bring her round is to get her involved and interested. yeah she may never have the bug that you have but if you can find just one little thing in fishkeeping that she likes you've your foot in the door so to speak, get her the thing that she likes then it's softly softly catchy monkey, bide your time and let her take interest in other aspects or other fish

It isn't that she doesn't like the fish. She has said she loves the fish. She just doesn't understand MTS and why I would want multiple tanks in a single room.

Karl

 

[Miss Wiggle]

It isn't that she doesn't like the fish. She has said she loves the fish. She just doesn't understand MTS and why I would want multiple tanks in a single room.

Karl

now i may be making assumptions about your missus here

but do you understand why she has 2/3 pairs of shoes to go with every outfit??

some things you just not meant to understand

 

[BigC]

My other half was like that so I bought a shed, kitted it out and proceeded to place 100 tanks in it.
I am currently putting a marine set up in the halway, thats alright as she's always prefered marines.
Regards
BigC

 

[Lynda B]

Is this your only hobby? If so, that's all you need to say. That it's the hobby you've chosen to get involved in, and the particular fish that you've chosen to get involved in, and you can't really explain your passion more than that.

 

[morgan]

I have the same problem. As you have children you could point out the educational value of fishkeeping. I agree with keeping the tank out of the bedroom as no tank is silent (hum of filter, fish splashing). You could also point out that some men go out drinking and gambling so the more tanks you have to look after and pay out for you will be less likely to do that. Also buy her something in return as has already been said. Well, that's how to deal with wives. Just my husband to convince now! Yes, we really do need a 6 foot tank in the living room.

 

[Lynda B]

You could also point out that some men go out drinking and gambling so the more tanks you have to look after and pay out for you will be less likely to do that.

And what happens when she says she would actually prefer if he take up drinking and gambling?

 

[dixiedawn]

Dunno...i have a problem with my bf and i haven't even started properly yet!! 10 gallon..3 gallon and tomorrow the BIG one gets here..he says it's pointless. I told him it's not pointless it's my angermanagement. If im busy with doing something else then i won't moan at him. The guy bought it for a few mins and then started in with the whole 'it's pointless' thing

 

[morgan]

LOL I hadn't thought of that!

 

[-germ-]

Get drinking!!!

Come home drunk every night for a week and see where she'd rather you put your effort.
Puerile but effective, and fun too....
OR
Just ask (emotional manipulation at its finest) you love/like me for who i am don't you?
Answer a) no, speaks for itself
Answer B) yes, well MTS is a part of me and as my loving, understanding partner i'd appreciate it if you supported me in my hopes, dreams and wishes.
Can't fail, unless of course.... she does say no.