I Have A Suggestion

[SuperColey1]

This Weeks Moan about manners thread is far too tame compared to previous ones, where is the action the 2 sides pitting against each other, the debate.

Anyways IMO the People who complain about the manner of this forum are either not used to forums or are used to the yahoo/msn forums (no swearing, innuendo and only allowed to talk about care bears or power rangers) or are from the older generation who through no fault of their own do speak with manners (some dont of course but generally IME) and are used to typing or writing in the same format in which they would speak.

As we all know the internet is the splash and dash of communication and we can jump into the forum answer a question quickly and then back to work. There is no time for long winded polite grammatically correct novels (like I write in my dinner hour. ha ha) and should we look at the watch and say I haven't got 10 mins I wont post or just give the advice quickly and to the point so that the user can see the positives and negatives.

I know for sure if I have to spell check every post, cut out abbreviations and then proof read the post so that it cannot be misconstrued as rude, then I wouldn't bother.

Introductions and Newbies please read sections, nearly always ignored these days. People never read the Dos and Donts (hence the HUGE signatures even in this thread) If theres one thing that drives me mad its not attitudes or spelling or manners it massive great pics that block up my screen. so what do I do? I set signatures to off in my profile, then I can see posts without all this appearing and reappearing. in the same thread. Then the posters keep saying 'duh my stock list is in my signature'

Before I get jumped on with this one. Stang yours is OK cos like the rules state 1 pic or 2 lines. Its the London Zoo Aquarium and the stocking list of the Deep that peeves me as it takes 2 days to scroll past the one post due to the signature

GAWD thats made this thread better now, a bit of decent debate on REAL RULES of the forum rather than the nicey nicey lol

This thread should already have a boxed X next to it in the front page.

 

[tmack]

I've seen instances where a thread goes on forever, usually between 2 users, with both sides making good points about why they successfully follow a practice that the other party doesn't agree with, I think it's best in cases like this to just agree to disagree & go on to something else.

 

[linda1503]

I know when I first started keeping fish again a while ago that every little thing my fish did that appeared out of the ordinary I panicked and posted on here. (phew, long sentence, sorry) Now I take a step back and think and wait a while instead of throwing my hands in the air and screaming ' you shouldn't be doing that little fishes' must post and find out why!!! So I suppose that anyone reading my earlier posts would have thought 'what the hell is she going on about!' thus leading to them getting annoyed if they were that type of person. Saying that most people were lovely and helpful and got me through my newbie hysterics! lol

There are just some people that are calm and can see through any silly questions and realise that a simple answer will alay any fears and then there are orther people who just think what a stupid person and have a rant at them. Its a shame that they don't just leave it to you calmer individuals out there. Of course there are also the nitwits would ask for advice and then don't take it and just want to start a row but nothing can be done about them apart from a ban, they are the type of people who would make trouble in an empty house. I love this forum and have learnt soooo much just by reading what everyone else has to say. Thank you all and sorry for going on so long!!

 

[PlecMama]

Responding to the initial post and not to any other comments

There are some posters who appear to be perpetually in a bad mood but the longer you're here, you sort of learn not to take offense because they are always like that, not that you learn to "ignore" them - they may have a good point, but you just sort of get use to their tone. kwim?

As for it being easy to ignore rude posts, I don't think it's easy if you get slammed for something or people make assumptions about you as a person when you make a comment that they can't possibly deduce that sort of thing from, it happened to me a while ago, I asked the mods to lock it or I would have taken it on as a full scale fight and that's not what we're supposed to be here for.

I guess that we should all be being nice, it's not the cotton wool club, it's just that it's what you are supposed to do in a polite society. I think it's important to remember this, as I step around someone spitting in the street, or get bumped up the be-hind in the grocery store by the person behind me trying to get their stuff on the conveyor belt before I have actually finished putting mine on, you know? we should be trying to be nice and make it a better place to be. It's a pay it forward type thing, if you're nice to someone they may in turn be nice to someone else because they feel better...and on it goes.

In theory.

 

[DazedNCoNfUsEd]

Just thought I would throw my 2 cents in. First off about the whole being nice thing. Now I'm in the military and you should hear how me and my friends rip on each other, it gets pretty brutal, so I have pretty thick skin. BUT then again there is a time and place for everything, and thats definitely not on this forum. One of the things this forum thrives on is how helpful and FRIENDLY it is. Now I've been on here for a while and a year ago I don't remember all of these threads coming up so often about people being rude. Therefore maybe it is something that shouldn't just be blown off with comments like "ohh no not one of these again." In a way that kind of attitude just reflects the OP's complaint in the first place.

Now to the people that get so irratated by the same posts over and over again, and by people that do not use the search button, and yadda yadda...that is NO excuse to be rude or "flame" anyone. Think about the Mods, they have been here a LONG time and I know they've answered the same questions alot more than you have, but I have never seen a Mod use any kind of bad attitude in their posts. And of course theres always the fact that if you don't want to answer a repeated question, simply skip over it.

Finally heres a suggestion for the Newbie section that may solve a couple of problems. How about have a format for people to post their introduction, sort of like the emergency section has. With info like where they are from, how old they are, how long they have been keeping fish, what fish tanks they have, stuff like that.

That will let people know that even though someone may be labeled "Newbie", they may actually be pretty experienced. Also agreeing with what someone else said, the newbie section can be pretty redundant and boring sometimes. This will add a little more variety to the section and may entice more people to read and respond, which will make new people feel more welcome and allow older people to learn more about them. Anyways... just a few ideas....

 

[The-Wolf]

I usually stay out of threads like this but I have to say
how exasperating it is to answer a newbies post by asking
them key questions about water params etc
only for them to totally ignore what was asked.

if members can't even answer some simple questions how on earth can we be expected to help them.
why should we welcome them with open arms if they are going to ignore what you have written in
good faith? it is tantamount to a snubbing and no-one like to be snubbed

 

[dwarfgourami]

Finally heres a suggestion for the Newbie section that may solve a couple of problems. How about have a format for people to post their introduction, sort of like the emergency section has. With info like where they are from, how old they are, how long they have been keeping fish, what fish tanks they have, stuff like that.

That will let people know that even though someone may be labeled "Newbie", they may actually be pretty experienced. Also agreeing with what someone else said, the newbie section can be pretty redundant and boring sometimes. This will add a little more variety to the section and may entice more people to read and respond, which will make new people feel more welcome and allow older people to learn more about them. Anyways... just a few ideas....

But we already do. It's called the profile. It's the first thing that comes up when you join the forum. When I find a post that asks for help without giving relevant information, I always go straight to the profile. Sadly, that is usually not much help. But there would seem to be little point in starting another section for this when people can't be bothered to fill in the one we've already got. If people stuck this information in their profile, one wouldn't have to chase through all their previous posts to try to work out their tank size.

There is also the pinned introduction thread at the top of the beginners forum, but it can be harder to find the right person's thread there, so I for one would be grateful if people used the profile to its full potential.

I agree both with SuzieQPlecMama that we need to observe basic standard of politeness regardless of what other forums do, and with The-Wolf that it is very difficult to help posters who can go on for pages without giving you that absolutely crucial piece of information that you're asking for.

As I keep saying, it's 50-50, we all need to be as polite and understanding as we can. As the forum is international, and open to all ages, it is particularly important to keep to a level of politeness that all ages and nationalities can feel resonably comfortable with- even if that does make it seem dull to some people. My own pet hates are country bashing (inexcusable- and it always seems to be the same two nations involved), personal attacks and speculation about other posters' age etc, and lastly the rude practice of yelling in loud capitals if you don't get immediate attention. If we could abolish these from the forum we would have come a long way. IME most members do not actually indulge in any of these, but the few who do seem more than they are because of their impact.

 

[Tokis-Phoenix]

Meh, i try to be polite and clear as generally posible on this forum, but my advice to some probably sounds a bit blunt sometimes, but thats not always a bad thing i guess- its better to give people the facts plain and simple sometimes than prance around avoiding the nesarsary questions.
I think the way you treat/talk to someone should be based entirely on the situation and circumstances you are talking to them in. The regular use of "smileys" is very valuable on forums where its sometimes difficult to pick up on someone's tone or emotions when reading their posts . Always remember too that most people here care about their fish at least to a certain extent as well as otherwise they wouldn't be on this forum in the first place- after all, most people who join here usually come here for the help/info/advice.
But there's been a lot of threads recently on this subject so i'll just leave it at that.

 

[cjohnston]

I totally agree, I have even seen rude and sarcastic comments, but generally the people on here are great.

Also, I think some people forget that when you type it can be taken completely the wrong way as there is no emotion.

 

[mlawson]

One thing that this forum does NOT have that I have seen on others is a "report this post" type option (unless im missing it ;-) ) .. that would be one way of keeping things under control.. however, it may be a little bit onerous in the mods..


Squid..

I think you will find a report post button in the botom left of each post

OOOpppps.. oh well..doesn't stand out like on other forums.. i must be blind though eh.. heheheh.

Only been here nearly a year and a half.. finding my way around still..

DIM SQUID

I only just realised that too!

 

[ImperfectFaerie]

And there ya go... a rude post that didn't need to be posted. How about some people think and take a deep breath before they type something rude?
It should tell you something needs to be done if people keep posting these same types of threads over and over again.

I'm really enjoying these forums b/c there is so much info here and there are some really great and helpful people.
But there are some who just have the worst snottiest elitist attitudes.

Rude? No, you were looking for it to be rude so you found it to be rude. Unnecessary? No, I think (and other members have agreed) that if we pinned this topic then those who want to whine about rudeness will have a place to do it rather than cluttering up the forums by opening up a new thread every other week. How about taking a deep breath before jumping the gun and judging someone as rude, or even better a snotty elitist? Because as much as you didn't apprecriate my post, I definately didn't apprecriate yours. Who's rude now? Me for expressing ideas, or you for name-calling?

Edit- And if you really can't stand someone, there's a handy little function that lets you ignore all thier posts. Use it.

 

[Squid]

And so life goes on.. hehehe..

 

[DazedNCoNfUsEd]

But we already do. It's called the profile. It's the first thing that comes up when you join the forum. When I find a post that asks for help without giving relevant information, I always go straight to the profile. Sadly, that is usually not much help. But there would seem to be little point in starting another section for this when people can't be bothered to fill in the one we've already got. If people stuck this information in their profile, one wouldn't have to chase through all their previous posts to try to work out their tank size.

Look I'm well aware that we already have something called the profile, I was simply giving a suggestion for something to make the Newbie section a little more interesting.

And as far as a pinned topic with everyone pointing out how rude people can be on here, are you serious? Is that really one of the first things you want people reading when they come on this forum??

 

[Teri]

hi guys and gals

as i come on this forum on a nightly basis to not only improve my knowledge on this hobby but to hopefully give my input to others and help them ,i find myself completely shocked by the way some members treat others

ive noticed that this is mainly the response that newbies get from SOME experienced forum users
the majority are very pleasant, friendly people with a great sense of humour but some are damn right rude

can i suggest that those who have the urge to respond in a negative way please step away from your computors, have a cup of what ever and a cigarette if needed, then come back and respond in a more responsible and less intimerdating manner

please try to remember that some people are learning and are seeking advice, if they are doing something that is wrong then reply in a kind way by suggesting a better way to achieve the objective rather than just tell them they have got it wrong.

we all do things wrong and some achieve where others fail so in the long run were all in the same boat

thankyou for listening

I knowwhat you mean, I haven't been keeping fish for very long, and i've got loads of ridiculously simple (to everyone else) questions to ask, but reading some of the replies on this site, i feel a bit stupid asking them.

 

[cjohnston]

Don't ever feel stupid, even the most experienced still learn something new all the time. I certainly have loads to learn only be keeping for a year, so I am certainly still a beginner. we all start somewhere.