I Have A Suggestion

[Miss Wiggle]

ha ha yeah i recognise people by they're avatars, on another forum i go on two of my friends swapped round avatars, signatures, everything except they're names one day. everyone got really confused

 

[LisaLQ]

I asked for help tonight and to begin with got very unhelpful responses and felt like typing a rude response and removing this site from my favourites, I will think twice before asking for help again. Those that did help I am extremely greatful but its the odd one that spoils it, after all the site is to help and gain info isnt it??

I think a lot of people have to look at their own posts and see why they got the "rude" responses they think they did. Being corrected about which section to post in isn't someone being rude - just helping you fnid the place you're more likely to get a response. Then if someone posts a message, and an hour later is yelling in capitals for a reply saying no-one's helping, people are going to be less inclined to help. Politeness works both ways. If you give it, you willl no doubt receive it.

I didn't see anything rude about Faerie's post either - she's spot on - these posts are getting tedious, why not resurrect an old one rather than start a whole new one? Pin one, and use it - please dont start another. You'd think that'd be promoted in order to save board space, let alone people's will to stay lol.

Also - not everyone can interpret people's intended thoughts and emotions through a typed messaege. There's been zillions of times people have assumed I'm being rude to them, when in fact - I'm just a matter of fact kind of person and dont like to fanny about playing internet pals with someone when they're in need of advice not fluffy messages that agree with what they're doing wrong, purely to keep the peace.

Just the way I am. Doesn't make me rude for telling them the truth, or a ***** for trying to help. Just means I say things differently to other people lol.

Which reminds me, really should start another thread about how folks should use the search function before they post clone threads....

 

[dwarfgourami]

I don't think I'm a main offender here; at least I have been trying to make an effort to be nice and helpful. But there are a few things that posters could think of:

first of all, we have all had newbie status on the forum at some time, and not necessarily when we were new to the hobby. Most of us were not offended if we asked a question and the people kind enough to answer assumed that they needed to start from the beginning. But if it is very important to you that people should give the respect due to the knowledge you actually have, then it might help to phrase your questions so that it is clear how much you know. Just a clear statement: I understand this bit, but could you explain that bit. If we are not given this information, how can we know where to start?

remember that nobody is obliged to answer a question- and that there are lots of reasons why you may have to wait or not get an answer: different time zones mean a lot of people will be asleep at any one time, people have busy lives- working, studying, looking after children or sick relatives etc etc. To me, when I wake up and go on the forum at 7 o'clock in the morning, there is nothing that puts me off a poster as quickly as being yelled at because I wasn't there at 4 o'clock! I absolutely require my 8 hours beauty sleep, I have a full time job and am the main carer of a disabled child- there is no way I can make the forum my first priority.

somebody who points you to the right section is doing you a favour, trying to get you in touch with the people with the most expertise in that particular area- they should be thanked for their trouble. I for one have very little expertise in emergencies (thank heaven and touch wood!), so am seldom found in the emergency forum, but there are a couple of other areas that I know a bit better, so would be able to answer questions if threads are posted where they will find me.

also, when you find lots of people have checked out your thread and nobody's answered- it really doesn't mean they are ignoring you; probably they are people who don't know either and are looking to see if they can learn from your thread; or else they need time to think about their answer- I know I often do, can't all think on our feet; or else they find answering the question would take more time than they currently have at their disposal

But I do promise I will take extra care in phrasing answers, I really don't want to be the one that puts people off the forum.

 

[andywg]

*Sigh*

It must be "moan about the forum being too mean" time of the month again.

Seriously, if you think this forum is harsh, you want to get out and see some of the others. You would be eaten alive. For a real eye opener, try visiting a political forum, then you will see true rudeness and flaming.

Hell, most of the other forums I am a member of are far harsher than this one. If one person is rude in responding, rise above it. If you get two or threee bad responses, maybe you should look at how you phrased the questions.

And as to starting a thread in the public domain for the general public to comment on, but trying to censor comments by putting "no rude or negative responses please"...

 

[cane76]

how about we start a sub forum for all the people who cant handle negative or rude comments,we could call it the cotton wool club

 

[Miss Wiggle]

how about we start a sub forum for all the people who cant handle negative or rude comments,we could call it the cotton wool club

ah but then you'd get told off if you're experienced but don't post in there

 

[QuotheRaven]

I said this in one of the other previous threads on this exact subject, There is no tone on a forum and some people think others are being rude because they read into the post to much. Some posts are very blunt and not rude but taken as rude due to their bluntness.

There also appears to be a correlation between 100-200 posters and these threads just something I realised. Those who are regular forum goer's usually do not state this forum is unfriendly while those who are new to the forum format see this place as very rude at times. This forum is very friendly in majority to other forums, there are exceptions but overall this is a friendly community. This is my final post on one of these threads ( until next week when the next one starts Lol)

P.S nice new avatar Miss Wiggle I had no idea who it was for a while Lol

 

[fishnterrapins]

Can I just lighten the mood by saying that since I've joined no one has been rude or nasty to. In the one occurance where it could be construed as this it was a situation where someone was telling me I had overstocked my tank, something which I listend to and now have 2 tanks (and another on the way )

Bottom line maybe I haven't been here long enough but everyones been really nice to me

 

[dwarfgourami]

There also appears to be a correlation between 100-200 posters and these threads just something I realised. Those who are regular forum goer's usually do not state this forum is unfriendly while those who are new to the forum format see this place as very rude at times.

This would seem to indicate that we do need to think about not being off-putting to newcomers. I reckon it's a case of 50-50: us oldtimers need to remember that the forum is not just about us,
and newcomers need to be aware of what sort of assistance you can expect from a forum- and what you can not. A 24 hour immediate answer service is not one of those things. Nor being able to censor what sort of response you want to a post. But common politeness certainly, an absence of offensive language (we are a family forum!) and a general awareness of how things might seem to people coming in new.

A newcomer should not have to suffer from the number of tedious and/or offensive posts we may have answered on the same subject last week. That is our problem, not the newcomers'. If you are new, you may not be aware of the search button, that is nothing for oldtimers to take offense at. We always have the option to pass a post by if we have already answered too many similar ones in the last week (but posters remember- this is our privilege!).

On the other hand (no reference to current posters), I often wish people who ask advice about an idea, get 10 answers in the same vein (usually, 'no this wouldn't work') and decide to act against this advice, would at least be a little tactful about it. There is no need to tell us 'I don't care what you say', how about just saying 'thank you very much', and then using your own judgment?

 

[Squid]

I mentioned reporting posts and making one of these sticky a fair way back in this posts. A number of people have mentioned it scince (either they didn't read the rest or they whole heartedly agree - ) .. with that in mind, why cant we just have a sticky rant post with some "read me firsts" at the beginning on conduct and how to deal with offensive posts... Perhaps we should post something in the PIN ME PIN ME PIN ME area!....!!!

Squid..

 

[Miss Wiggle]

I mentioned reporting posts and making one of these sticky a fair way back in this posts. A number of people have mentioned it scince (either they didn't read the rest or they whole heartedly agree - ) .. with that in mind, why cant we just have a sticky rant post with some "read me firsts" at the beginning on conduct and how to deal with offensive posts... Perhaps we should post something in the PIN ME PIN ME PIN ME area!....!!!

Squid..

yeah i saw that, just it seemed to have been partly ignored so i thought i'd say it again cos i do wholeheartedly agree with you

 

[Ava_Banana]

There also appears to be a correlation between 100-200 posters and these threads just something I realised. Those who are regular forum goer's usually do not state this forum is unfriendly while those who are new to the forum format see this place as very rude at times.

This would seem to indicate that we do need to think about not being off-putting to newcomers. I reckon it's a case of 50-50: us oldtimers need to remember that the forum is not just about us,
and newcomers need to be aware of what sort of assistance you can expect from a forum- and what you can not. A 24 hour immediate answer service is not one of those things. Nor being able to censor what sort of response you want to a post. But common politeness certainly, an absence of offensive language (we are a family forum!) and a general awareness of how things might seem to people coming in new.

A newcomer should not have to suffer from the number of tedious and/or offensive posts we may have answered on the same subject last week. That is our problem, not the newcomers'. If you are new, you may not be aware of the search button, that is nothing for oldtimers to take offense at. We always have the option to pass a post by if we have already answered too many similar ones in the last week (but posters remember- this is our privilege!).

On the other hand (no reference to current posters), I often wish people who ask advice about an idea, get 10 answers in the same vein (usually, 'no this wouldn't work') and decide to act against this advice, would at least be a little tactful about it. There is no need to tell us 'I don't care what you say', how about just saying 'thank you very much', and then using your own judgment?

Well written, I concur.

 

[lljdma06]

You know a good way to avoid the assumption that all Newbies in the Forum are actual Newbies is for them to utilize the introductions section. Perhaps it should be rephrased from "those who are new to tropical fishkeeping" to "those who are new to TFF". I know when I was a new member I took the time to say "hi" and tell a little about myself, enough people responded and enough people remembered who I was that I was never assumed to be a true "Newbie". I think the more that people know, the less that you can assume, and it's a great way to clear up who you are.

In addition, perhaps that section, which I believe posts basic forum rules may be a good spot to place the thread some have you have been suggesting. In fact, I distictly remember reading a thread in that very section that mentions all the dos and don'ts of proper forum etiquette (sp), so I think it's already there.

I think that I really try to always be polite when I respond, perhaps a bit too polite, I am a bit on the formal side, but I a well aware of the "report" button and often use it. Makes me sometimes feel like a tattle-tale, but if it keeps things running smoothly, then I'm all for it.

Miss Wiggle, cute avitar, I like.

llj

 

[Majjie]

I'm sorry to say I never look in the Newbie introduction section - it all gets a bit samey!

Tell you what would help, though - if newbies put a bit more info in their profiles. I often check the profile - but there's frequrently nothing much there

Yes - great avatar Miss Wiggle

 

[Miss Wiggle]

ha ha thanks everyone, glad to see you've all noticed the key issue of this post, my avatar