Your favourite jokes

A mushroom walks into a bar.
The bartender says "We don't serve mushrooms in here".
The mushroom says "But why? I'm a fungi"

I went to a zoo and all they had was a dog. It was a shih tzu.
 
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I have a lot of them, not necessarily my favorite but we like these ones and they are mostly kid friendly...mostly🤣

1). How did the hamburger introduce his wife?
"MEAT PATTY"

2) What did the nut say as he chased another nut?
"I'M GOING TO CASHEW!"

3) Three moles were in a tunnel.
The first said, I smell sugar.
The second said, I smell cinnamon.
The last said, I smell molasses...🤣

I'll see myself out.
 
I have a lot of them, not necessarily my favorite but we like these ones and they are mostly kid friendly...mostly🤣

1). How did the hamburger introduce his wife?
"MEAT PATTY"

2) What did the nut say as he chased another nut?
"I'M GOING TO CASHEW!"

3) Three moles were in a tunnel.
The first said, I smell sugar.
The second said, I smell cinnamon.
The last said, I smell molasses...🤣

I'll see myself out.
I just read the last one and ACTUALLY got it 🤣🤣🤣
 
Please keep all jokes family friendly. Posts which are not will be deleted, and if many non family friendly jokes are posted the entire thread will be deleted.
 
A German housewife is looking all over town for her husband and can't find him. Eventually she stops in the barbershop to look and she asks the barber , "Vas my Heinie here ?". The barber replies , "no Ma'am , just haircuts and shaves".
 
I’m sorry but I don’t get it?
Say it out loud with a heavy German accent. Vas my Heinie (her husband Heinrich) here ? Wash my heiny (derrière ) here ?
No Ma'am , we only give haircuts and shaves.
A joke isn't funny when you have to explain it. Must be a cross cultural thing.
 

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