Whats The Best Joke You Have Heard?

[Crossfire]

So a dyslexic man walks into a bra

 

[Dieses Madchen]

"That's what."
-She

 

[This Old Spouse]

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.



Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence..



So Satan walked up to the man and said, 'Do you know who I am?'



The man replied, 'Yep, sure do.'



'Aren't you afraid of me?' Satan asked.



'Nope, sure ain't.' said the man.



'Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?' asked Satan.



'Don't doubt it for a minute,' returned the old man, in an even tone.



'Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?' persisted Satan.



'Yep,' was the calm reply.



'And you are still not afraid?' asked Satan.



'Nope,' said the old man



More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, 'Why aren't you afraid of me?'




The man calmly replied, 'Been married to your sister for 48 years.

 

[XeroTolerance]

^ thats a good one.

 

[This Old Spouse]

Grandma and Grandpa were watching a healing service on the television. The evangelist called to all who wanted to be healed to go to their television set, place one hand on the TV and the other hand on the body part where they wanted to be healed. Grandma got up and slowly hobbled to the television set, placed her right hand on the set and her left hand on her arthritic shoulder that was causing her to have great pain. Then Grandpa got up, went to the TV, placed his right hand on the set and his left hand on his crotch. Grandma scowled at him and said, "I guess you just don't get it. The purpose of doing this is to heal the sick, not raise the dead!”




Off color, I know. But I still thought it was funny!

 

[Dieses Madchen]

That is hilarious!!!!

 

[LucyB]

Yo Mama so fat when she went to the movies she sat next to everyone

Yo Mama so fat when she sat on the Iphone, she made the Ipad

 

[xingumike]

Why did the tiger get lost?

Cos 'jungle is massive'

 

[This Old Spouse]