Tell me something funny

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Duh…..if I want to participate in a chat is this the place I put it? Or is this just answering the post before me? Thank you 🐡
 
Duh…..if I want to participate in a chat is this the place I put it? Or is this just answering the post before me? Thank you 🐡
If you mean a private message Click on the person's avatar and select to "Start conversation'. Won't be a 'live chat' but only you and recipient(s) will see the conversation.

This actual thread is just a place to put stuff you find humerus.
 
We used to have a chat room but due to very little participation and difficulty moderating it, the admins discontinued it. We do have a random discussion thread which is visited by many members.
 
We used to have a chat room but due to very little participation and difficulty moderating it, the admins discontinued it. We do have a random discussion thread which is visited by many members.
Many years ago I used to have a chat room on a couple of my forums but found that they are pretty counter productive on a forum. I DO have a chat room on my computer help forums but it is only accessible to staff.
 
I dont know if it's exactly what you would call funny but let's talk about the lifespan of a roll of toilet paper.

Personally, I can make a roll of toilet paper last quite a long time. I will leave the semantics of how to use it correctly to your imagination but....a roll for just me personally will last 200Xs longer than my dang kids. My kids live between their mother and myself 50/50. When they're here I sometimes wonder if they get hungry while they're doing their business and actually snack on the toilet paper. I swear they can destroy an entire roll in one day between the 2 of them.

As a parent this irks the heck out of me so one day I decided to do an impromptu "how to use toilet paper correctly" seminar. My daughter was horrified and my son couldn't hide his sheer delight in her reaction. "Wipe, fold it in half, wipe again fold it in half..." He thought this was the best seminar ever until his sister chimed in about what he leaves behind in his shorts because he doesn't use the toilet paper effectively. "Mom hates doing your underwear laundry, ive seen her fish them out of the hamper with tongs so she doesn't have to touch them" had me crying

I used to watch "kids say the darnedest things" with Bill Cosby. My kids remind me of this show everyday. They're growing into teenagers now and I miss the days when all they wanted to do was hang out with their old man
 
These were popular when I was decades younger.

The Joy of Tom Swifties​

Funny and Exuberant Puns That Turn Adverbs into Punchlines

A Tom Swifty is a play on words taking the form of a quotation ascribed to Tom and followed by an adverb. Here's a good example: "The thermostat is set too high," said Tom heatedly.

Here are a few more examples:

Sometimes the puns are simple:
Let's gather up the rope," said Tom coyly.
"Welcome to my tomb," said Tom cryptically.
"I can't find the oranges," said Tom fruitlessly.

Sometimes they require a little more thought to get:
"Don't you love sleeping outdoors," Tom said intently.
"Let's trap that sick bird," Tom said illegally.
"I lost my trousers," said Tom expansively.

And some are inspired:
"I just ran over my father," Tom said transparently.

And the all-time best Tom Swifty:
"I just dropped the toothpaste," said Tom crestfallenly.

So, without using a Search engine, what Tom Swifties can you devise? Here are a few from me:

"2+2=4," said Tom additionally.
"I love watching my fish move around the tank," said Tom swimmingly.
"I keep my phone set to vibrate," said Tom tinglingly.
 
These were popular when I was decades younger.

The Joy of Tom Swifties​

Funny and Exuberant Puns That Turn Adverbs into Punchlines

A Tom Swifty is a play on words taking the form of a quotation ascribed to Tom and followed by an adverb. Here's a good example: "The thermostat is set too high," said Tom heatedly.

Here are a few more examples:

Sometimes the puns are simple:
Let's gather up the rope," said Tom coyly.
"Welcome to my tomb," said Tom cryptically.
"I can't find the oranges," said Tom fruitlessly.

Sometimes they require a little more thought to get:
"Don't you love sleeping outdoors," Tom said intently.
"Let's trap that sick bird," Tom said illegally.
"I lost my trousers," said Tom expansively.

And some are inspired:
"I just ran over my father," Tom said transparently.

And the all-time best Tom Swifty:
"I just dropped the toothpaste," said Tom crestfallenly.

So, without using a Search engine, what Tom Swifties can you devise? Here are a few from me:

"2+2=4," said Tom additionally.
"I love watching my fish move around the tank," said Tom swimmingly.
"I keep my phone set to vibrate," said Tom tinglingly.
I think this family of jokes is the reason so many writing teachers advise against using adverbs. :lol:
 
These were popular when I was decades younger.

The Joy of Tom Swifties​

Funny and Exuberant Puns That Turn Adverbs into Punchlines

A Tom Swifty is a play on words taking the form of a quotation ascribed to Tom and followed by an adverb. Here's a good example: "The thermostat is set too high," said Tom heatedly.

Here are a few more examples:

Sometimes the puns are simple:
Let's gather up the rope," said Tom coyly.
"Welcome to my tomb," said Tom cryptically.
"I can't find the oranges," said Tom fruitlessly.

Sometimes they require a little more thought to get:
"Don't you love sleeping outdoors," Tom said intently.
"Let's trap that sick bird," Tom said illegally.
"I lost my trousers," said Tom expansively.

And some are inspired:
"I just ran over my father," Tom said transparently.

And the all-time best Tom Swifty:
"I just dropped the toothpaste," said Tom crestfallenly.

So, without using a Search engine, what Tom Swifties can you devise? Here are a few from me:

"2+2=4," said Tom additionally.
"I love watching my fish move around the tank," said Tom swimmingly.
"I keep my phone set to vibrate," said Tom tinglingly.
"Well I didn't want grapes anyway" said Tom sourly
 

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