Tell me something funny

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I'm still feeling my way around, so if jokes aren't welcome, please let me know.

Guy goes into a pet store and asks Dude behind the counter for a dozen bees.

Dude goes into the back and puts some bees in a bag. He takes it out to the Guy.

Guy looks into the bag and counts. Says, "There are thirteen bees in here."

Dude says, "Oh. That's a freebie."
 
Tell you something funny, eh? Ok, let's see about this:

Up until he was seven or eight, I frequently took my oldest nephew, Keegan, to stay the weekend with me. We both had a blast. Most of all, he loved running errands, so every time he stayed with me, I packed into the weekend a lot of errands.

One Sunday, when he was four or five years old, I took him home and he ran to his mom. "Did you have a good time?" she asked. He said, "Yeah, Mommy, and you know what? When Auntie Kim drives, she says '****' a lot!"

Within the family, I've never lived it down, and, truth to tell, I don't want to.
 

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