Tell me something funny

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I don't put glue on my hands on purpose; I'm just a clutz. Peeling it off is a bit less fun when you're using Duco cement or cyanoacrylate :lol: but it does pass the time, I suppose...
Ouch... Yah don't do that.
I got super glue on my hands once... Really good numbing agent I found out...
 
OK, maybe none of you are nerdy enough to get this*, but here goes.

While on a tour of Scotland, King Charles visits a veterans' hospital. He walks up to a random bed and speaks to the patient. "Hello, son. How is your recovery going?"
The man glares at the king for a moment, then shouts, “Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim'rous beastie, O, what a panic's in thy breastie!”

Taken aback at being thus addressed, the king moves to the next bed. "How about you, soldier? Are they treating you well here?"
The man sits up in bed and gravely intones, "Some hae meat and canna eat, and some wad eat that want it, but we hae meat and we can eat, and sae the Lord be thankit.”

King Charles straightens up and turns to the hospital administrator accompanying him. "Am I correct in assuming that this is the ward for the mentally ill?"
"No, your majesty," the administrator says. "It's the severe Burns unit."
 
Last night our dog went outside two times. The first time she went out and came back in she thought the door was open but the screen door was shut, so she hit her poor nose on the screen (funny but not funny 😅)
Then the second time she went out (this was hours later) we called her back in when we were about to go to bed. She stared at us but then finally made her way to the door.
She stopped right at the door and just stared in... We were all confused as to why she just stopped... So I called her in again "Luna, Luna girl, come on its ok"... Then she pawed through where the screen door goes and kept trying to paw it and we all laughed SO hard 🤣. She thought the screen door was still up and was using her paw to see if it was there or not. Smart dog. Then she slowly poked her head theough... I will never forget that 😅
 

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