Need To Say Something

[minnnt]

T.O.S. You are exactly on the money!

Al, there certainly is always 2 sides to each story... Usually very different and sometimes not the truth.

 

[snake007]

I do agree with both sides but one thing I must say, new members dont know who the experienced people are, I once asked a question about what predator can go in my 20 gallon? Someone said 'just get a big cichlid with a hump on its head' Now if I really didnt know anything and went out and bought it, right now a fish would be suffering.
So some people (VERY RARELY) give bad advice, but generally everyone on here gives terrific advice!

 

[Dieses Madchen]

I think the best example that I have, going back to snakes original post, of people posting pictures.....the day I bought my Jewel Cichlid and posted pics of her and my tank. Heck, I was happy. She was my first big fish. The first comment I got was not a compliment at all. In fact, it was Minnnt lol.

"That jewel is going to kill or attack anything you put with it."

Wasnt the response I was hoping for, especially since I was showing off my new fish. But in the long run, thank you Minnnt. I have not lost a single fish to the Jewel. Your comment made me watch the tank for problems. I have found tankmates she likes, and I have had to rehome some fish, then I got them back. She is doing very well with my severums (who are now almost as big as she is) and my catfish.

While some comments may not be what the OP is hoping for, in the long run, it is very helpful. Minnnts criticism on my jewel kept fish from dying in that tank

 

[This Old Spouse]

Although it's not always the case, it often helps to note the number of posts someone has in their avatar. This doesn't necessarily denote how much practical experience someone has, but it does let one know that person's experience on the forum.

 

[ian]

The one thing i will throw in the mix is, that sometimes we need to just take a step back and think about what we post to newbs sometimes. I read comments on here and they could come across as a little harsh, the comments aren't breaking any forum rules, but simply could be put across a little differently. Just remember we were all newbs once and we have all made mistakes. Sometimes just empathise with people a little more.

 

[minnnt]

LOL!! Haha!!

I agree that sometimes i do come across as harsh and rude.

Very sorry for that Jourdan, but i am glad it kept you wary of the little monkey. I know how damaging these can be from my own personal experience. Hence why i shared the info.

 

[ian]

ps I wasn't aiming that one at anyone, it was just a generalisation.



We should all take a leaf out of Charlies book.

 

[snake007]

10000000% Agree ianho - that video was truly inspirational and has made me see things a bit differently now,

 

[Dieses Madchen]

LOL!! Haha!!

I agree that sometimes i do come across as harsh and rude.

Very sorry for that Jourdan, but i am glad it kept you wary of the little monkey. I know how damaging these can be from my own personal experience. Hence why i shared the info.

No, it wasn't rude at all It was just one of those cases where criticism comes into a post where people are showing off their fishies It was good criticism after all and I thank you a lot for it. She is a crazy little thing lol. But I don't know what it is about her...she has my heart. I figured I would deal with the strife of stocking around her, rather than give her up. She is my favorite fish.

 

[ian]

and just think it was written by one of the world best known comedians.

 

[minnnt]

Glad it's all working out for you Jourdan. Such a shame regarding their aggression as their colouration can be fantastic!!

 

[Dan-CR4]

I got to disagree with the original poster, I come here to get advice from people that know more than I do. Thats what makes this forum great, the expertise of these guys, if you dont like their advice you dont need to take it. They are trying to help and if they see that certain fish are not being correctly stocked or too many fish for a tank, all they are doing is expressing their view, and what would be best for the fish. I can certainly say I have not had any bad responses from anyone, and if someone says hold on you are doing this wrong I take it on board as people are only trying to help and give advice, but again its upto you if you dont take it on board. The only thing I know is that if it was not for this forum I would of made a lot more mistakes than I have.

 

[micko]

I don't agree with the original post. Just the other day someone come on asking about his stock, 60 something litre with two of this, two of that and two or three danios. Once I said his tank wasn't big enough for the danios and forget adding to the tank until they are sorted he went off on one. When I said they'd need a 4ft tank minimum, so other eejit come on and said I was wrong. Only for others, regular members that person would have believed the other person as it suited him. Aye, I was harsh in the end up as he said they were staying in his tank. I mean what's the point in asking a question about stocking and not listening when you do get an answer? I've done many things wrong whilst fish keeping, a lot I've leant from doing wrong and being told how to do it correctly, whether I asked or wanted that info at the time it was the answer I needed.
If someone comes on with a problem and tells you their stocking what are you going to say? Say nothing about their stocking and just tell them to do extra water changes? I won't. I'll tell them if I know they are doing wrong. Like al said, I'm not really on here to make friends, if I do then that's all the better but I'm not going to people please either.
I may be harsh sometimes and I will think a wee bit more, possibly, as to how that post sounds before I press the post button, maybe, just maybe.
Its already been said that its very hard to get humour, concern or any expression across in a forum or text. 93% of communication is all tone, pitch and non-verbal communication so we're missing a lot through just reading.

 

[Caprichoso]

Considering this forum has members from all over the world, the way people respond and act on here is going to be varied. It's also very hard to make a joke on here because it may either come off as a joke or as something cruel sounding. Sometimes people get frustrated when they read a comment from someone having trouble and then they notice they have their tank stocked horribly. I try to answer the question the person asks rather than insult their stocking or knowledge but sometimes I'm just gritting my teeth. Most of us care very much for our fish so it makes us angry when we hear about them dying or being in an unsuitable environment.

Having said that, I also feel that just because this is a public forum doesn't give people the right to be rude and unkind. I see a lot of rude and snide comments posted and it just makes me shake my head sometimes. The people that have been on the forum for awhile I think can let most of the comments roll off their backs and it won't bother them but I could see how the way some people act might make others afraid to ask a question or post a response or make them want to just leave the forum altogether.

I personally think that everyone has valuable information to share and that we can all learn from each other in a friendly, positive way

 

[Cazgar]

Brilliant vid, just says it all