Need To Say Something

[minnnt]

I disagree personally. Members on here who have been keeping fish for a very long time obviously have the benefit of experience on their side and feel the need to share it. People should keep apropriate fish in apropriate tanks. It's only fair to the fish. Keeping shoaling fish in too small a group is irresponsable and cruel. There is enough information out there to prove what people say on this forum.

yes, i agree with mint... but when people say this they sometimes use an insulting tone... i am easy to insult.

yesterday i was asked whether i was "asking whether i should be bothered" to go somewhere, when i wasnt... and i found it insulting.

Again, it is a public forum... Everyone has different personalities. The relationship between certain members (for instance me and Tizer) is that of banter, and not alot we say to each other offends us. It is not peoples fault that what they say offends you (unless it is abuse etc) and it isn't your fault that you are easily offended.

It's just the way the world works unfortunately!

I'm with minnnt on this one. I personally feel obliged to mention any problems I see, whether they're related to the OP or not.

I agree also. If someone is making a post, I figure they are looking for advice to improve the keeping of their fish. This sometimes includes the tankmates of the fish they're asking about. Sometimes you can head off a real potential problem. Like someone that says, I have one Tiger Barb in my five gallon tank. I was looking at Bettas. What do you think of the Doubletail? Of course you have to mention the Tiger Barb! That being said, it never hurts to address these items in the nicest tone possible.

Perfect example. Nobody would say "yeah the doubletail would be a great choice" and not mention the Barb.

 

[onidrase]

Another thing, when one person says something, 100000 other people don't need to say it as well - for example, Someone asked about a blood parrot being in a 30 gallon, someone said no and explained why, then another person said no, then another I think we get the point.

There's power in numbers. I like it when people come and confirm my suspicions or people back up information that another member gives me. It's better when 3 or 4 people tell you something is or isn't correct than if just 1 person does.

On topic, here, It's better to say something if something looks amiss than to just ignore it under the idea that "oh, he/she didn't ask if this stocking is inappropriate, I should just not say anything so he/she will never know unless they ask about the issue themselves"

That's something that I like about this forum. I always get my questions answered, and then there are people who are eager to tell me if there are any other issues that might need addressing in regards to my tank and the like. If nobody did that, I would never know. And since people do that, I feel a lot more secure about my tank and the way I'm treating my fish.

 

[Noahs ark6]

yes, it's nice that experienced people help people with questions, and i think it's fine that they help them with other things they see wrong with their tank, but it's the way they go about it, e.g "your tank is way overstocked and your filter isn't big enough!"does anymore need to be said?

 

[onidrase]

Also, in regards to complimenting and such, I'd agree that I'm a complete and utter failure at this. I'm a total pessimist, I always point out bad things and sometimes even forget to acknowledge anything good.

and I agree that when I post comments and such, a few hours later I look back at those comments and think "god, I'm a jackass sometimes"

I never really mean to sound harsh and such, but it just comes out weird, I guess.

 

[BigbruiserAl]

Another one to disagree with op sorry to say, im with flutter and minnnt. Again its only because they care for fish it may sound harsh but i really don't care who likes me on the forum but if i save another clown loach in 120L then job done IMO. I learn something every day on here and thank other members for that. Buying fish in low numbers (neons,congos corys etc) to add at later date is still cruel IMO if you cant provide the proper care for the fish from day 1 don't buy them.

 

[snake007]

Im actually starting to agree with you minnnt but my point was people come here for advice and get scared off when everyone jumps on and starts telling them about this and that (which to them is everyone shouting at them).
Yes its good to tell them about things that need to be addressed but when someone knows something already and people keep telling you, it gets annoying, Of course people cant read your mind but then people can say it in a more polite tone (which is hard when your typing).
Perhaps like this ''Ok your lfs has misinformed you but were here to help, your going through a fish-in cycle right now and this is what you do...........''
Not like ''Your going through a fish in cycle why dont you research first before buying fish? People like you need to research first, oh and also them fish will get too big for your tank, go out and get a new one now''.
This makes people come out with comment like ''fine ill flush them and go get 5 guppies and put them in my 80 gallons tank''

Just to be clear - Im saying this from what ive seen on this forum, Im not knocking the forum in anyway, like I've said, this forum was my savior and many others

 

[Cazgar]

I read loads of threads on here before I plucked up the courage to join.
I did notice there's a tendency by a lot of posters to pick on the negative.
I appreciate the written word on a forum can come across as over harsh sometimes, but sometimes instead of jumping in with "you're overstocked/ wrong fish/ take them all back" etc the poster could maybe address the initial problem, then add that they have a problem with wrong advice from lfs fish/ overstocked etc & they'd like to advise how to rectify that.
Not everyone has a thick skin & can easily be offended, & never come back.
Surely the point of this forum is that experienced fish keepers can help the newbies, not frighten them away

 

[snake007]

I agree.

Just one more thing, New posters come here, dont know how things work and they make quite a few new threads, people start to tell them you dont like advice so stop posting, this happened to me and I didnt come back for a month, I though ' What a right rude bunch of plonkers' , Until I got to speak to people and find out about their experiences with fish and got to like the forum, Look at me now, Im here nearly every single day of my life.
I just think people need to calm down a bit on the forum.

 

[eaglesaquarium]

I get your point snake, but the biggest issue is that it is hard to convey tone through typed messages on an internet forum. I am guilty of suggesting that the fry be placed into a fry tank. I also took the time to find an appropriate picture of a proper sponge filter than will not suck the fry up but safely allow them to grow up in the tank. Why did I do this, because it seemed that she wanted to save the fry. My goal was to help, nothing different than that. I was suggesting a method that would be more fail-proof than a fry trap inside a breeding net. Perhaps I should have just clicked away, and not said anything at all.


Many times it is impossible to know the experience level of a new member. But, in my opinion, I'd rather have folks tell me MORE than I want to hear than LESS. I'd rather have a bunch of different opinions about different things to do and choose the one that fits my needs the best. I saw a new member, with 6 weeks of time on this board, who just lost a bunch of fish post about having fry. I thought offering a solution that would keep the majority of the fry alive would be welcomed. It wasn't meant as a criticism. It was meant to be helpful. It was early in the morning, and I hadn't had my coffee yet. I said what I thought needed to be said and offered a suggestion, including a picture.


I've had enough platy fry die in breeding traps and nets to know that you are taking your chances when you use that method. I've been a youngster who got all excited about them, and disappointed when they died. I've been an adolescent who tried to keep them alive, but couldn't do it. I later convinced my dad to buy a small tank to raise the fry in, and voila, fry survived. Of course, this was back in the UG filter days. But, they still managed to make it.

 

[Dieses Madchen]

I see both sides. I am one of those that tries to compliment, but I will point out a potential problem is I feel it is worth bringing up. Like today, someone had posted pictures of their Malawi tank. It was beautiful, and I let them know. But I saw they they had some of the same fish I did, as well as Red Zebras, which I used to have. I had a really aggressive one. So I had to ask if their red zebras tried to attack/kill the other fish. While I complimented their tank, I felt that since I had a problem when I had those fish, it was a legitimate question.

In short, I think that it is okay to point out potential problems. People post pictures and ask for advice/opinions on their tanks. So if someone wants my opinion on a 15g tank that they have 20 fish in, 5 of which are clown loaches, I am going to badger them on their stocking choices.

I say this because when I first joined the forum, i recieved ALOT of criticism about the way I was doing things. I had a 10g tank that I was trying to upgrade and this forum gave me the know how on what to do. Was I insulted a few times? Yes. Did i get my feelings hurt a little bit? Yes. Am I glad? Yes, because recieving the criticism and getting my feelings hurt did teach me that I was doing things wrong and that my fish deserve better. I have 4 tanks running now with happy thriving fish, and a 65g tank in setup. Thanks to the people who rode my butt and criticized me, I feel that I have awesome tanks (although someone needs to teach me to aquascape lol)

 

[pyrofishtoo]

Surely the point of this forum is that experienced fish keepers can help the newbies, not frighten them away

An excellent point! It is the delivery, be supportive and helpful while getting the point across. I do care who likes me on a forum because it helps in the communicating process. My home forum is very much supportive and positive while getting the message across. For that reason, it is one of the most successful forums in the country.

 

[minnnt]

I did say that maybe it isn't always approached in the right way... Which is very hard to get across on a forum on the internet.

 

[BigbruiserAl]

Have you thought of the flip side of the coin, experienced members come on for chat with like minded people and every day the see the same thing for the noobies without a hint of using that big search button at the top, also you will find they ask lots of question then go for months without contributing only to come back when they need help? always two sides to a story

 

[snake007]

Have you thought of the flip side of the coin, experienced members come on for chat with like minded people and every day the see the same thing for the noobies without a hint of using that big search button at the top, also you will find they ask lots of question then go for months without contributing only to come back when they need help? always two sides to a story

That is one thing ive said that annoyed me, people join ask a question, people helped them, they never come back until the next problem and do the same thing. But its life I've just got to ignore things and think of the positive.

 

[This Old Spouse]

I'd much rather hear as many sides as possible addressing my question. I read probably half the posts I see pop up and sometimes I comment. Some days I'll post a question and don't get a single response. Other times I get bombarded, sometimes nicely, sometimes not, and though I don't think my skin is any thicker than average, if someone comes across with a snide remark I generally respond in kind, with a smirk on my face. Lighten up, everybody! This is supposed to be educational AND fun! And honestly, if you get flustered when someone tells you you're screwing up, take a good long look at just what it is you're doing and realize you might want to follow the advice of the elders here. They know a lot, more than you, so you should probably heed what they're saying, even if they say it in a way that's not so nice.

I remember when I first joined this forum and was astounded at the activity level being so high! It's great. No waiting for days for some advice like on some other forums. We are a lively bunch.