2 b or not 2 b Horatio

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I definitely agree getting out for walks, especially in the countryside, try and get 10k steps in and having Pixie with you will be awesome :) The mental health benefits of exercise are huge and walking is such an easy way to get started, even try turning it into hiking, start planning and researching your routes and places to go - helps if they end at a pub too ;)

You are definitely worth any and all help and support you can get! Make sure you keep up with your GP to get the referral to the right service. But we are all still here for you too - we are 'internet strangers' but we've been hanging here out for far too long to be true strangers now - one big fishy family.

Since you asked for music thought I'd share this one, I'm a bit of an old school emo but this is a song from them from 2 years ago and its something I've listened to on repeat at various stages and can always find meaning in.


Wills
 
If I still had my Mod powers I'd totally abuse them to change the topic of this thread to AdoraBelle is awesome btw...
 
I have been listening to Dave Bromberg for longer than most here have been alive. This is a tune to make you smile and tap your feet.
(Play it in one of the HD settings.)

 
I've been in touch with Adorabelle outside of TTF and she's let me know that she's taking a little break from the forums. I fear things have been getting too much for her, she needs some time for herself but has reassured me that she's safe ❤️
 
Sorry. I had a day and a half where I couldn't function, couldn't do anything, and hit at least one kind of rock bottom.

Was going to try to delete thread, the previous title felt so ridiculously optimistic that it hurt, but didn't know what else to call it, and it won't let you leave it blank.

Needed to wtihdraw from the world and do some thinking.

But starting over again this afternoon.
 
Sorry. I had a day and a half where I couldn't function, couldn't do anything, and hit at least one kind of rock bottom.

Was going to try to delete thread, the previous title felt so ridiculously optimistic that it hurt, but didn't know what else to call it, and it won't let you leave it blank.

Needed to wtihdraw from the world and do some thinking.

But starting over again this afternoon.
If you ever want to delete a thread, just ask a mod to do it for you.
One day at a time...keep up the good fight.
 
Just called around the three local(ish) fish stores to see what they have in stock, see some prices.

I'm not looking to add much stocking at the moment, but what I would like are:


Another group of I.kerri blue/purple emperor tetra.
A group of psuedomugli red neon blue eyes
Otos - closest store doesn't have them in.


Closest store is a large chain, but one of the better ones that I've seen. But they're moving location soon apparently, so aren't getting in much new stock.
They don't have L.kerri, only N.palmeri. Don't think they have any otos "but might find a few in other tanks", and do have a tank of the dwarf rainbows, but they all seem to be males, apparently.


One of the stores, I've never been too before, and he didn't use any latin, just used common names, so when I asked if he had an otos in, he said yes, "dwarf suckermouths", and said he has the "normal" red neon blue eyes, but couldn't confirm they were luminatus. So not really wanting to go out there just to find they're something else, and the "dwarf suckermouths" are bristlenose plecs or something.
On the other hand, the riskiest, last store I've never been to would take in my bags of guppies, too...

One store has all three species... can't afford all three at the moment, and while I love the store itself, it's also the hardest for me and most expensive to get to. But they sell high quality, healthy fish, and know their stuff.

I do have some relatively small debts to pay off, but working with CAB, can set up payment plants. But I also got a caregivers grant that I apparently must spend on myself. Not allowed to put it towards bills, or caring expenses or anything else - only on things you listed, like hobbies, personal care stuff, and we have to keep receipts to show it too. It's part of the agreement when they give you the caregivers grant.

I also want to stay motivated in my hobby, so I don't drown in the awful stuff happening in my life right now. But still... feel guilty at the thought of spending any money on the hobby right now.

So tempted though!
 
That kind of guilt is an understandable feeling, I get it a lot myself. All my money goes into the family home and the kids, I can't remember when I last bought myself a new piece of clothing or a pair of shoes, I don't go to hair salons nor am I bothered about handbags and jewellery...I feel bad for spending money on myself like that when the kids need a new this or they've grown out of that....but its really important to love and value oneself, especially in times when one feels so desperately low. It's funny how we would encourage our family and friends to buy themselves something or go/do something to bring joy into their lives but recoil at the thought of doing that ourselves.

Your hobby is a peaceful, tranquil and calming one, and it will be a wonderful distraction away from the chaos. You've been selflessly looking after everyone else Belle...look after yourself a bit now 🙂
 

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