FOMO (for fellow oldies that's "Fear Of Missing Out")

[kwi]

I just searched fuplie, top two results are this forum.
It was 3 weeks from my Liverpool grandads passing to burial, because of Christmas adding a weeks delays, and then because of a family rift there was two seperate wakes.

 

[Essjay23 138]

My father-in-law's funeral was the worst. He was buried with my mother-in-law who had died 2 years earlier. The funeral was 3 1/2 weeks after his death because my brother-in-law wanted an afternoon rather than a morning and afternoons are very popular.
It started badly and got worse. First brother-in-law's daughter was supposed to be giving the eulogy but she was on holiday, broke her shoulder in a horse riding accident and was not allowed to fly home so she missed the funeral. After the service, we got to the graveyard to discover they'd opened the wrong grave. So we went to the wake while they opened the right grave, then back to the graveyard for the interment. A few people didn't make it back to the graveyard as they were elderly and had to get home across country.

 

[FishBearer9845]

I said bumhole in a thread the other day in relation to a naughty guppy. Not sure if I was reported or it was changed, I haven’t checked. And I just said it again.

 

[Essjay23 138]

You can always say fuplie instead

 

[AilyNC]

I think the wake tradition here is just part of that old culture pre catholicism. The church tried to adapt lots of those traditions too. But omg the 3+ week wait sounds awful. I organised one funeral. It's so overwhelming at first but the undertaker asks questions and then does everything. And I'm actually grateful it took place within 3 days. It helps with grieving. Those 3 days are a fog so I wouldn't like 3 weeks.

I think it's a very important cultural ritual. I'm atheist myself so wouldn't be into the spiritual side - instead I see the benefit of collective grief, acknowledging someone's life abd sharing the pain of their passing.

After funeral singing, story telling and drinking late into the night are just part of our ritual here. Probably strange to an outsider as you'd have lots of jokes and laughing too.

 

[AilyNC]

Need to remember fuplie

 

[Essjay23 138]

Part of the problem with lengthy waits is getting an appointment to register the death. It is supposed to be within 7 days but lots of register offices fail to meet this target. My brother-in-law's wife died in 2007 in the evening of a Friday of a bank holiday weekend. He contacted the register office to make an appointment when they opened again on the Tuesday and the appointment was 7 days after this; her death was only registered 11 days after she died and of course a funeral cannot be held until this is done.
By contrast, my mother also died on a Friday evening and I registered her death the following Tuesday, 4 days later.

 

[AilyNC]

My FIL died Saturday morning of Halloween bank holiday weekend. He was buried on the Tuesday, death cert taken care of by undertaker who apologised for the delay in burial caused by bank holiday. So grateful for undertakers.

 

[kwi]

After funeral singing, story telling and drinking late into the night are just part of our ritual here. Probably strange to an outsider as you'd have lots of jokes and laughing too.

It's like the old joke.
"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?"



"One less drunk at the wake."

 

[AilyNC]

Oh jeebus it's only funny cause you're not English making that joke

 

[kwi]

My FIL died Saturday morning of Halloween bank holiday weekend. He was buried on the Tuesday, death cert taken care of by undertaker who apologised for the delay in burial caused by bank holiday. So grateful for undertakers.

Just having someone that knows what to do and can give sound advice is a massive help, no one plans for a funeral, unless they're my dad, he has a funeral plan in place with the Co-Op, they'll even tell ones that he doesn't want them there.

 

[Essjay23 138]

My FIL died Saturday morning of Halloween bank holiday weekend. He was buried on the Tuesday, death cert taken care of by undertaker who apologised for the delay in burial caused by bank holiday. So grateful for undertakers.

In England and Wales, only certain people can register a death and a funeral director is not one of them (unless he's also in one of the categories). Next of kin, or other relative if the next of kin is not able; someone present at the death; the occupier of the house or an official of the building where the death occurred (eg hospital); the person making the arrangements with the funeral director.

The bereavement officer at the hospital and the funeral director were so kind and helpful when my mother died. The only thing left for me to do was to arrange the burial of her ashes in my father and sister's grave in her home town as she had moved away to be near us in her later years.

 

[kwi]

In N.Ireland the Doctors automatically register the death, maybe it's to stop anyone being inspired by Shameless and continuing to claim benefits.

 

[Essjay23 138]

In England and Wales, the doctor issues a medical certificate of the cause of death which is then given to the registrar to register the death. In my mother's case, the hospital bereavement officer nagged the doctor to provide this certificate so I could register her death.

 

[AilyNC]

Actually I think here it might have been doctor. Again a bit of a blur. But definitely all sorted with wake & cremation within days.