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[littlefishie]

Don't let him buy fish or go to the pet store.

And tell him you're very angry with him for tossing the fish into the street -- try to explain to him the seriousness of what he's done.

I did tell him how much it hurt me and what a cruel thing he did and was in tears as well. He told me I was crazy and it was just a fish. Then I started to explain to him that they are as much as a living creature as a dog or cat and then he started to curse me out and at that point I went and locked myself in my room and tended to the hurt fish.

And that's where you smack him and say 'If you can't even understand that you're hurting a fish, obviously you don't understand that you're hurting me.'

And the don't talk to him for a bit.

Well I tried calling him a few hours ago to see if he was okay and he didn't answer so I am guessing he is "ignoring" my calls. Oh well, if he doesn't want to come back he doesn't have to. It will just be me and my fishies!

Anyways I think I am going to get offline and tend to the poor little swordy. I will be back later though to report on her.

DO NOT CALL HIM!

Honey, whatever you do, do NOT give in and make the first move! He's the one in the wrong and needs to apologize to YOU for what he's done.

Ignore him until he's ready to be a man and admit he was wrong to toss those poor fishies out in the street -- not to mention disregarding your purchase instructions and making an irresponsible purchase -- and when he comes around, tell him that you're not too sure about trusting him with your fish anymore.

Maybe that'll make him smarten up.

 

[tank212]

Wow....What an a**. If I would ever catch someone mistreating any type of animal I would probably have done the same aside from the scratching thing(might come across a little wimpy if a guy did that ),and if anyone who wants you to think even something as simple as a tiny fish doesn't matter they are mistaken.Nothing that can have a decent life living in a peaceful fish tank deserves that. I hope all your fish get better

 

[Raechal]

Don't let him buy fish or go to the pet store.

And tell him you're very angry with him for tossing the fish into the street -- try to explain to him the seriousness of what he's done.

I did tell him how much it hurt me and what a cruel thing he did and was in tears as well. He told me I was crazy and it was just a fish. Then I started to explain to him that they are as much as a living creature as a dog or cat and then he started to curse me out and at that point I went and locked myself in my room and tended to the hurt fish.

And that's where you smack him and say 'If you can't even understand that you're hurting a fish, obviously you don't understand that you're hurting me.'

And the don't talk to him for a bit.

Well I tried calling him a few hours ago to see if he was okay and he didn't answer so I am guessing he is "ignoring" my calls. Oh well, if he doesn't want to come back he doesn't have to. It will just be me and my fishies!

Anyways I think I am going to get offline and tend to the poor little swordy. I will be back later though to report on her.

DO NOT CALL HIM!

Honey, whatever you do, do NOT give in and make the first move! He's the one in the wrong and needs to apologize to YOU for what he's done.

Ignore him until he's ready to be a man and admit he was wrong to toss those poor fishies out in the street -- not to mention disregarding your purchase instructions and making an irresponsible purchase -- and when he comes around, tell him that you're not too sure about trusting him with your fish anymore.

Maybe that'll make him smarten up.

I know I shouldn't call him but I am 17 and have been with him for 2 years and he is my first "love" you know? But I know it is the right thing to not call him and I will not. If he really "loves" me like he says he does, he should call me and apologize. Although I seriously doubt that as he never apologizes... I am thinking about basing whether we break up or not on how the fish does tomorrow.

dead fish=break up
alive fish=maybe think about it

 

[newfishies]

But he is the kind of guy that would kill all of my fish if I EVER touched his "prized possessions"

the fact that you think he is capable of doing something like this is a little scary... maybe you're better off if he never recognizes his mistake and never comes back....

i hope the fishies pull through

 

[Raechal]

Oh BTW I checked on the little swordy and her tail was all chewed up! Someone must have made a little snack out of her while I was on the computer. I carefully moved her to the 29 gallon after adding small cups of the 29's water to the bowl she was in. I turned off the lights and the air stone as it was blowing her every which way. She swam a little and is now hiding behind a plant. There is some salt in the water so hopefully she will do better.

 

[Raechal]

But he is the kind of guy that would kill all of my fish if I EVER touched his "prized possessions"

the fact that you think he is capable of doing something like this is a little scary... maybe you're better off if he never recognizes his mistake and never comes back....

i hope the fishies pull through

When we get in fights he will usually threaten to take my fish away or all the stuff he bought for it and even sometimes he will say he will flush them all, but I never think he really would...Now I am not 100% sure. He is moving out in a month or so...so maybe some time apart will fix things between us. Maybe he will learn how good he has it with me. I mean I do EVERYTHING for him. Cook him food whenever he wants it, massages him whenever he is sore, gets him a ride from my parents whenever he needs to go somewhere, basically everything a guy would want. Plus...I'm not too bad looking either.

 

[Raechal]

Poor little thing is well hidden behind some fake grass in the tank and I can't even see if she is still breathing. Don't want to disturb her though if she is comfortable there.

 

[littlefishie]

I know I shouldn't call him but I am 17 and have been with him for 2 years and he is my first "love" you know? But I know it is the right thing to not call him and I will not. If he really "loves" me like he says he does, he should call me and apologize. Although I seriously doubt that as he never apologizes... I am thinking about basing whether we break up or not on how the fish does tomorrow.

dead fish=break up
alive fish=maybe think about it

Been there, done that.

If he abuses something so simple as a fish, how can you feel safe? What's to stop him from turning on you?
Seems like he's trying to buy your love more than anything..

Don't let him treat you, or your fish, like this.
I had to break up with my 'first love' because he was turning into an alcoholic and had some minor rage problems.
Don't let yourself get in a situation where you don't feel safe.

He's not worth it if he just abuses fish like this.. who's to say he wouldn't do it to you?

 

[pica_nuttalli]

there are bigger issues than just fish behind all of this. happy people do not fly off the handle over a rejected fish or two; i bet your boyfriend is upset over more than just that.

i know that you won't like to hear this, but i suggest that you two take a break from each other. two years is a lot of time to put into a relationship, but at the same time, you're only 17. you're still only a fraction of the person you will be. even the most mature and cosmopolitan kid changes significantly after graduating high school and entering the adult world. you also cannot be certain of how you will change either; so long as you still live at home, much of the way you choose to live is dictated by your parents. you have only the outline of the person you will turn into once you are on your own.

i think that if your relationship is decaying while you are still young and not even your full self yet, then you should just let it go. why agonize over something you can't even know that you'll still want in one or two year's time? an attractive, intelligent, loving young lady who can cook will have plenty of suitors. especially if she does massages. if it is truly meant to be, then it will still happen. break it off. let yourself grow free for a while. graduate, go off to university, and then try again.

 

[Raechal]

there are bigger issues than just fish behind all of this. happy people do not fly off the handle over a rejected fish or two; i bet your boyfriend is upset over more than just that.

i know that you won't like to hear this, but i suggest that you two take a break from each other. two years is a lot of time to put into a relationship, but at the same time, you're only 17. you're still only a fraction of the person you will be. even the most mature and cosmopolitan kid changes significantly after graduating high school and entering the adult world. you also cannot be certain of how you will change either; so long as you still live at home, much of the way you choose to live is dictated by your parents. you have only the outline of the person you will turn into once you are on your own.

i think that if your relationship is decaying while you are still young and not even your full self yet, then you should just let it go. why agonize over something you can't even know that you'll still want in one or two year's time? an attractive, intelligent, loving young lady who can cook will have plenty of suitors. especially if she does massages. if it is truly meant to be, then it will still happen. break it off. let yourself grow free for a while. graduate, go off to university, and then try again.

I guess I am just scared to leave. I don't know what will happen and I am scared no one will ever "love" me anymore. Like I will never find anyone like him (his good side anyway) again. Our relationship is basically like this: When it is bad it is REALLY bad, but when it is good, it is like heaven. *sigh* I just don't know what to do. I guess it isn't 100% my choice either, we need to agree on what we should do IMO. I think since he is moving out in less than a month that will give us time apart and let us think things through.

I think our biggest problem is that he lives with me in my room, so we spent a little TOO much time together. To say the least, I haven't slept in my room alone for about a year or so. His house got destroyed by the hurricane so he has been living with us since, but I think maybe once he moves out we can spend time alone and apart.

But who knows...

Thank you all for your advice though and I greatly appreciate it. I will sleep on it tonight and just see how tomorrow goes. Who knows, he may show up at my door tonight.

 

[littlefishie]

Raechal, listen to me right now.

DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT!, let yourself be scared to leave him.
Darlin', I think you and I need to sit down and have a chat, I've been in your situation.
All my contact info's on my profile, or there's always PM's. I hope to hear from you.

 

[Polardbear]

I tried to get a couple hours of sleep as I have to work tonight but all I could think about was your poor little pineapple girl. I wish I had more time right now to write but I need to be getting dressed and out the door.

Raechal - he doesn't deserve to be in your life and he isn't worthy of your love and affection. He isn't going to grow up anytime soon and he's not going to change his behaviour except possibly for the worse. I speak from experience, please believe me, the best thing you can do for yourself is get him out of your life right now before he does something more horrible. You will find love and happiness again even though your scared you won't. I've been there, done that, it isn't worth the agony he'll put you through!

 

[Raechal]

I tried to get a couple hours of sleep as I have to work tonight but all I could think about was your poor little pineapple girl. I wish I had more time right now to write but I need to be getting dressed and out the door.

Raechal - he doesn't deserve to be in your life and he isn't worthy of your love and affection. He isn't going to grow up anytime soon and he's not going to change his behaviour except possibly for the worse. I speak from experience, please believe me, the best thing you can do for yourself is get him out of your life right now before he does something more horrible. You will find love and happiness again even though your scared you won't. I've been there, done that, it isn't worth the agony he'll put you through!

Yea, I have been trying to sleep as well but the 29 gallon is in my little brother's room and I can't watch her 24/7 I guess I will just pray and hope she makes it tomorrow. Poor little girl...or boy? Now that I look at his/her tail I can kind of see a "sword" point but it might just be from someone chewing on his/her tail and making it look that way.

Anyways off to bed I am. Thanks everyone, I appreciate it so much.

 

[Dorkhedeos]

dont worry about not finding somebody, you still have like 10 years. im 15 and i dont worry about any of that stuff. just do some fun stuff to take your mind off it, like shooting targets or something. whenever im depressed, i skate until i get hurt, then everything is fine again

 

[Raechal]

dont worry about not finding somebody, you still have like 10 years. im 15 and i dont worry about any of that stuff. just do some fun stuff to take your mind off it, like shooting targets or something. whenever im depressed, i skate until i get hurt, then everything is fine again

I'm not really good at anything though...I usually write when I get depressed or down while listening to some music. It kind of helps me get everything out.