The Friendliest Fish Forum Around?

[Gankutsuou]

Honestly, I still consider myself a sappling compared to those here in fishkeeping.

I still make some mistakes. I still do some things wrong.
But honestly, I try my hardest to fix those mistakes.

I fell for the typical "pleco" scam.
I almost fell for the bala sharks.

but then I came here.
I really started to reasearch into things.
And thursday I plan to fix a lot of things.
But people here still give me grief about it. I can't help but wonder if the title now mocks me rather than supports what drew me here (besides actual responsiveness to the situations I had)

Are we not part of the friendliest fish forum? can we not be more understanding again? we all started out somewhere. We should give it a try to help out those who are too.

No matter how bad you see it, there has to be something that doesnt come across in the situation or something misinterpreted. Something they left out or something we don't understand. Patience is a virtue we need to bring back to this form.

K. that's done.

 

[Naughtygirlrlw]

Agreed, lighten up people! When I first joined it was not like it is now at all.
I think everybody needs a big hug!

 

[halfbloodprincess]

Yes my first tank was a 10 gallon tank with 12 goldfish, 3 cherry barbs, and a betta! Oh yes I have learned my lesson. I just cant believe thats what I had in my 10 gallon tank! I have definatly gotten better at fish keeping from doing so much research and asking questions here. I feel bad for all those goldfish that had to be in my fish tank!

I have definatly made some mistakes in fish keeping!

 

[DiscusKeeper403]

I was really flammed out for wanting to put a Discus by itself into a 25gallon tank! also for my iridesent shark in my 10g (which is still finding a home). And I have mentioned before, people are not coming here to be told off but rather to learn about fish keeping in order to take better care of their pets, the answer to their question will come out clearer and louder if you reply nicely.

 

[Pheonix]

group hug everyone

 

[Bignose]

Well, I'm going to play devil's advocate at least a little bit. 1) the members, especially the long-time members, really care about their fish and all fish, and really want what is best for them. 2) For every one of the OP, there are usually 3-5 who show up thinking that they know everything anyway, and that 'Everyone knows that fish only grow to the size of their tanks' and that their tanks look empty unless there are 35 tiger barbs in that 10 gallon tank. Then their tanks look like the ones in the LFS. And, of course, when the tank gets ich or the fish just die from the situation they are put in, it was weak stock, or it came in with their tap water, or anything that is not their fault. And, often enough, the stocking some of these people show up with is tantamount to cruelty, plain and simple. Putting an end to cruelty is very noble in my opinion, and sometimes raises the blood, so to speak. 3) The written word does not carry tone very well. This, in combination with 1), makes some posts of otherwise kind caring people read very aggressive. If you met these people face to face, it would not seem nearly as harsh. Next time you read a slightly aggressive tone, give the poster at least a little bit of the benefit of the doubt.

These people feel a passion for fish, and really just want to make sure that the newbies learn the right way to keep their fish healthy and happy. Sometimes strong language is needed, and sometimes (a la point 3) ) it reads harsh, but the great majority of time, I think it is just the passion and trying to make sure as much cruelty as possible is eliminated.

 

[Mr.September15]

Well this is unexpected but I accept


(RANDOM)

 

[trace1]

i used to love coming on this forum when i first started out, learnt a lot of things as well infact, i'm still learning. but i'm finding this forum is now becoming not so friendly.
now i know i'm gona get into trouble for saying this but from posting a fair bit & actually coming on here here daily i think that unless you are well known on here you are getting ignored most of the time.
for instance someone with a quite high post count who is well know will get a lot of replies but the newer members will only get a couple of replies & thats it. i myself have felt this a few times on things that i have posted about that say 30+ people have viewed but none can be bothered to reply to,
i know i will now be told that peolple on this forum have lives other than replying on here. yes i know this & i don't expect some 1 to reply within 30 seconds but it is kinda of putting for newer members when they are not allowed into the the fishy cliche & if people do reply they jump down their throat because they have made a mistake.
i agree with what was said above about the forum needing a big huge group hug & being as welcoming as it was for me when i first joined last year.
there has been so many times i have typed something like this & then just deleted it for fear of offending someone which is not my intention. i am a friendly happy go lucky person who does not like to upset people because i always feel gulity if i do but i feel it needs saying.
if mods think i need banning for my comments then so be it i will be sorry for leaving if thats the case.
but i think other forum members sometimes need to sit back & think " this person is new lets help them"
& no i'm not directing this at anyone in perticuler.
*** big hugs from trace ***
cos i'm a huggy loveable person
oh yeah sorry its so long

 

[spAcE mOnkEy]

I know what your talking about Gank. Lots of people on this forum very strict about the fish keeping "rules." Some people get very carried away with these fishkeeping rules, telling you how your fish will die without trying to help. Also many newish people that come here learn a bit the first few months, and then they think they know everything. So there are many people giving out wrong advice and yelling at people who have fish tanks with too many fish in them. Some get carried away and take the stocking of tanks way too seriously.
I think some people feel better about themselves when they say how you are not keeping your fish properly. Many also assume that you will keep fish in one tank for their whole life. They flame you before you can tell them that the fish is in a holding tank or finding a new home.

 

[Gankutsuou]

well, it doesn't need to get to the point where I go into our chat, and one of the well spoke people call me the

(I will self censor this)

"****ist fish keeper ever."


Sure, I've made some mistakes. but I've made moves to correct them. But to call me practically the worst in the world? I've put well over two hours a day in the past 2 months each day on here and into fish keeping. I work hard and take pride in what i've accomplished. I have thriving plants and a thriving community now. And as of thursday, everything will be perfect, sans the discus issue, and the 38 will be the only tank in use.

But when I suggusted salt water and get told "haha! you can't even keep fish. why consider marine"
It pisses me off a bit honestly. to take that approach without knowing me as a person, my circumstances, and what I've gone through the past few months. without seeing my tanks and the actual conditon of the way it is going, you can not fuly judge.

I just want this to be a reminder to be softer and more user friendly to everyone, newbie or not

 

[Bignose]

Maybe I'm stubborn, but I'm gonna stick to playing devil's advocate...

i i myself have felt this a few times on things that i have posted about that say 30+ people have viewed but none can be bothered to reply to,
i know i will now be told that peolple on this forum have lives other than replying on here. yes i know this & i don't expect some 1 to reply within 30 seconds but it is kinda of putting for newer members when they are not allowed into the the fishy cliche & if people do reply they jump down their throat because they have made a mistake.

Well, 1) maybe the 30 people didn't know 1.1) there are bots on the internet all the time, like from the search engines and the like, one view does not necessarily mean one person saw it. 2) maybe the question asked has been answered already like 1000 times. As one of these 'long-time' members, I have virtually no interest at all in writing about the same topics over and over, especially when the answer is in the FAQs or can be found easily using the search function. 3) For the longest time, I only read threads to learn as much as I can. Again, a view does not mean that it was person qualified or knowledgeable enough to answer the question. Finally 4) as a long-time member, at least here in chit-chat, I have almost never seen clique-like behavior and I really feel it is unfair to accuse the board of that.

Again, from my previous post, some people on here have a passion and that can come off pretty harsh via the written word, especially when cruelty is perceived. When on the internet and you cannot hear the tone and context of the word, you really should be giving the other person the benefit of the doubt.

 

[SeahorseWhisperer]

I am not sure if it is passion or ego?

I am speaking of many fish related sites, though. I am new here.

I have had marine fish for 2 decades and I have seen the hobby evolve and change so much. When I first started, you had to have a UGF. Then, it was plenum, then bioballs, then canister filters, then DSB, now I know some who are bringing back the UGF!

I think there are some who think there is one way to set up a tank, and refuse to see other ways? I have even seen posts from people who do even have a particular species of fish, then give advice to others based on stuff they have read on the internet.

I try to keep an open mind, and when I read a post from some one who is adamant about a certain way of thinking, I just think ot them as the guy who is still holding on to the plenum!

 

[trace1]

i do understand what you are saying bignose about the search section & people asking the same questions over & over again, but sometimes its nice to hear of say people like your good self who may just have first hand experience on the subject/problem.
like i said i'm not directing this at anyone in particalur (god i need to learn to spell lol).
i made the biggest mistake of all newibies when i frist starting & found this forum & every one was very helpful & nice to me & it made me learn quick enough to go from 1 tank to 7 within less than 6 months mostly with help from here.
but over the lst couple of weeks its kinda changed lots of petty arguments going on & stuff like that.
lets hope this thread helps & people become happy & relaxed again & start to enjoy the forum.

 

[freerunner416]

Well i am new here altogether and my experience differs. I joined the site and had nothing but help from a few people but then i posted pics of my tank and got nothing but abuse!! I knew my tank was over stocked but instead of explain the reason why i should change it i was congratualated on "creating a community death trap". I have kept fish for years but never seriously and it is only lately that i have been making more of an effort, hence why i am in here. To the ones you are helpful us newbies thankyou to the rest who think they know everything, take a good look at yourself before hammering some of us newbies!!!!

 

[Bloo]

Well Bignose has said it better than I could have myself and I agree 100%
Besides: these threads "TFF is not so friendly anymore etc.etc." spouts up every few weeks or so.
Honestly: apart from increased members, nothing much has changed. It's people's perspectives that have.

And perhaps when those saying it's not so friendly anymore think so because:
1) when they were newbies, they received kind and gentle advice to steer in the right direction
2) but now, a few months down the line when they perhaps still ask they same / similar questions, they "should" know better and those same members who gave advice in the first place, feel that they are speaking to a brick wall.

I am not pointing any fingers at anyone in this thread or otherwise - because I can't recall responding to any of your threads. But then again, my memory can be like a sieve !