Tell me something funny

[JuiceBox52]

One day I was getting ready for school. Walked-ran down the stairs, and I stopped. A-a-achooo. I threw out my back.

Same though

 

[Fishmanic]

One day I was getting ready for school. Walked-ran down the stairs, and I stopped. A-a-achooo. I threw out my back.

Been there, done that

 

[Deleted member 149562]

Long before the world became so litigious as it is nowadays, I had a Saturday job at a supermarket packing shelves with a friend. This was on top of my usual day job in construction.

My friend and I were given nicknames by the other workers in the supermarket......my friend was Dropsy and I was Slipsy

My friend dropped and I promptly ended up on my backside....

So quite frequently there would be calls over the store's tannoy "Would clean up go to (whichever aisle) please"

All my friend and I heard was sniggering behind the shelves...."That's another one for Dropsy & Slipsy then!"

 

[Deleted member 149562]

 

[Rocky998]

One day I was getting ready for school. Walked-ran down the stairs, and I stopped. A-a-achooo. I threw out my back.

Same... Lol

 

[I Like Rare Fish]

View attachment 168855

Can’t see much, but the speed sign looks European, and the grass looks UK. Also speak on English.

 

[Rocky998]

Saw this on Tik Tok LOL

Guy 1: "Hey man... Do you think my life is important?"

Guy 2: "I dont know, ask Siri"

Guy 1: "Hey Siri, is my life a joke?"

Siri: "No your life is not a joke....."

Guy 1: *smiles and sighs with relief*

Siri finishing her sentence: "Jokes have meaning"

Guy 2: "OH DAAANG"

 

[JuiceBox52]

Saw this on Tik Tok LOL

Guy 1: "Hey man... Do you think my life is important?"

Guy 2: "I dont know, ask Siri"

Guy 1: "Hey Siri, is my life a joke?"

Siri: "No your life is not a joke....."

Guy 1: *smiles and sighs with relief*

Siri finishing her sentence: "Jokes have meaning"

Guy 2: "OH DAAANG"

Say one that was
Why don’t I have a girlfriend?

Ask Siri

Siri why don’t I have a girlfriend?

Here’s what I found on the web for why don’t I have a girlfriend- activating front facing camera

 

[Rocky998]

Say one that was
Why don’t I have a girlfriend?

Ask Siri

Siri why don’t I have a girlfriend?

Here’s what I found on the web for why don’t I have a girlfriend- activating front facing camera

OML! I wanted to share that video with you actually!

 

[Back in the fold]

Moderators and censors note : The following joke is not political , it's funny.
A Republican , a Democrat and a Libertarian are walking along a beach and discover an antique bottle. They all agree that they should polish it up and try to sell it so they start in on it and almost immediately there is a rumbling and smoke and a Genie appears. The Genie is not happy. "I just get settled down in my bottle and some joker comes along and stirs me up , you think you get three wishes well you don't , you only get one each". The Republican says "I want to live in a country away from liberals and whiners where money grows on trees". Poof ! He's gone. Next the Democrat says "I want to live in a country where everybody gets a fair shake and the rich don't oppress the poor". Poof ! He's gone. The Genie then turns to the Libertarian and asks " How about your wish?". The Libertarian says " let me get this straight. There's no Republicans and no Democrats ?". The Genie says "that's right". The Libertarian then says " I guess I could go for a Coke".

 

[Rocky998]

Teacher: "What is your spirit animal?"

Quiet kid: "Desert Eagle"

Teacher: "Oh really? Would you explain why?"

The class:

 

[I Like Rare Fish]

When I was 10 my dad and I went to the sand dunes in Arizona or something like that. We went with my dads work (a get together with a client), and he brought me. The owner of my dads company (he is very high up, and the company is large), was there, and he brought his sand buggy’s (bros got a net worth of 500+ million). Me and my dad cruised out through the dunes, jumping and stuff. Then, after a small 6 foot jump, we crashed right into a rock. The engine broke. We were stranded. My dad actually didn’t get fired, but he had to pay 7k to fix the buggy.

 

[Rocky998]

When I was 10 my dad and I went to the sand dunes in Arizona or something like that. We went with my dads work (a get together with a client), and he brought me. The owner of my dads company (he is very high up, and the company is large), was there, and he brought his sand buggy’s (bros got a net worth of 500+ million). Me and my dad cruised out through the dunes, jumping and stuff. Then, after a small 6 foot jump, we crashed right into a rock. The engine broke. We were stranded. My dad actually didn’t get fired, but he had to pay 7k to fix the buggy.

Not sure how funny it is but that's one awesome story!

 

[WhistlingBadger]

Albert Einstein gets on a plane and sits down next to an elementary kid. They strike up a conversation and the kid starts bragging about how smart he is, as kids will do. Einstein chuckles and decides to teach the kid a little lesson. "Let's have a contest. I'll ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you give me five dollars. Then you can ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll give you five hundred dollars." The kid thinks this is a pretty good deal, and offers Einstein the first question.

"How many miles away is the moon?" Einstein asks.

The kid thinks for a moment and says, "I really don't know," then hands Einstein five dollars. "My turn," says the kid. "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

Einstein ponders this long and hard, thinking about all his scientific knowledge and his extensive reading on philosophy and world folklore, but he can't come up with anything. Finally, he gives in. "Alright, you got me." He gives the kid five hundred dollars, then he asks, "Alright, so tell me: What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The kid shrugs and hands Einstein five dollars.

 

[Rocky998]

Albert Einstein gets on a plane and sits down next to an elementary kid. They strike up a conversation and the kid starts bragging about how smart he is, as kids will do. Einstein chuckles and decides to teach the kid a little lesson. "Let's have a contest. I'll ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you give me five dollars. Then you can ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll give you five hundred dollars." The kid thinks this is a pretty good deal, and offers Einstein the first question.

"How many miles away is the moon?" Einstein asks.

The kid thinks for a moment and says, "I really don't know," then hands Einstein five dollars. "My turn," says the kid. "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

Einstein ponders this long and hard, thinking about all his scientific knowledge and his extensive reading on philosophy and world folklore, but he can't come up with anything. Finally, he gives in. "Alright, you got me." He gives the kid five hundred dollars, then he asks, "Alright, so tell me: What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"

The kid shrugs and hands Einstein five dollars.

Lol. I've heard many variations of that joke