A guy is walking down the street when he sees a "For Sale" sign in front of a house. On the sign, it says "Talking Dog For Sale 20$."
Intrigued, he rings the doorbell. A woman opens the door, and sure enough, there's a golden retriever sitting in the living room.
"You really have a talking dog?" the man asks.
"Yes, I do," the woman replies. "Go ahead, ask him something."
The man turns to the dog and asks, "So, what's your story ?"
The dog looks up and says, "Well, I've had an amazing life. I was born in a small farm in Kansas, and as soon as I could talk, my owner, a farmer, realized my potential. He took me to college, and I earned a degree in astrophysics. After that, I joined the military and served several tours in Afghanistan, diffusing bombs and saving lives. I even got a medal of honor. Then I became a special agent for the FBI, tracking down international criminals. I've traveled the world, seen incredible things, and helped countless people. Now I'm retired and just looking for a quiet place to live out my golden years."
The man is absolutely stunned. He turns to the woman and says, "This is incredible! Why on earth would you be selling such an amazing, talented dog for only 20$ !?"
The woman shrugs and says, "Because he's full of sh*t, never did anything of what he said."