Well,  I HATE SAND!  That being said (again), I am in the process of setting up my 55G with Quckcrete play sand.  I had to wash it and wash it in buckets and then still had to fill the tank half way up 3 times and drain it to get water clear.  All is good now but no fish in there yet.  I would get rid of that sand and start over with the Quickcrete.  I think the biggest problem was as @Byron said.  Never leave fish in a tank when changing substrate.  All will work out slowly.  Slow and easy wins the race.  I know you feel so bad physically.  Wish we could come and help you.  
				
			
	            


