RadaR
The things we do for our fish..
Try to change enough water often enough to get your nitrates under 40 ppm and you will be fine Mandy. If that takes frequent large water changes you are overstocked. If you can maintain good water with a weekly 50% change then you may be heavily stocked but the levels are manageable. Do not add to your stocking until something comes out of the tank first. You certainly don't want to add to that tank. I have a fry growing tank about that size with that many small fish in it but its sole purpose is to get the fish big enough to move them on to someone else. It stays fairly full because I do save some of my fry to be able to pass them along to other people.
Trouble is, hubby loves fish too much.
You could use that to your advantage really. If he loves his fish then surely he would want to create an environment where they were happy and thriving instead of struggling to cope with the conditions. A healthy fish is a happy and good looking fish.