Gentle Persuasion!

[chrisrm]

my mate has just told me he has brought a new tank 64l upgrading from a bowl he had goldfish in it has a filter and heater and i tried explaning about cycling but he wasnt really intested

he then told me that he wants to put a silver shark in there to which i informed him that they grow to about 30" , he said but the ones he saw were only about 2" i told him they WOULD grow but he seems intent

how can i pass on my knowlage without "telling" him what to do

(he knows nothing about fishkeeping he thinks its a case of put some water in, put some fish in.... bobs your uncle)
thanks

 

[kizno1]

get him to join on hear and ask about stocking.

 

[chrisrm]

get him to join on hear and ask about stocking.

i thought of that, this is where i have learnt the most! but he dosn't see it as a hobby, its just a tank with some fish in!!

He's the sort of bloke that "knows best!

 

[meguro]

Maybe try making your own suggestions. But make sure they're obviously ridiculous ones like, "how about a small blue whale?". And when he looks at you funny, you can then tell him that the fish he's selecting wouldn't be any better?

 

[yvez9]

some people are like that

they throw your advice away and when the fish die, it's the fish's fault

i try to educate people and when i see they clearly do not care, i don't bother. they usually come back shortly after asking for help anyway.

 

[VespertineStar]

Agreed, totally. I have a mate who is a "knows best" kind of bloke and nothing I say gets through to him because "he's done it before and it worked." Of course he only did it for a year and the fish were nowhere near fully grown. I say leave him to it and when the fish do kick the bucket he might come back to you for help as it doesn't sound like he would be the sort of person to take advice on here.

 

[Wills]

even if he does ignore you - when he gets to the fish shop even most P@H will ask what kind of tank it is size and tank mates and I am fairly certain that most places would be capable of not selling him the bala - though depending on the store I could imagine him coming away with an other goldfish which is still no better. If he does struggle and still wont listen to you tell him to google goldfish there are tons of good websites with the commonly accepted rules between hobbyists listed and it will get to the point where he will realize what he needs to do for these fish, I started out like this and from picking up a 10g for 4 fancies by the end of the week i had a 55g!

Wills

 

[yvez9]

i wouldn't count on a place like pets at home to give proper advice. rare are the pet stores that give sound advice.

when i bought my first tank, i wanted balas. the store owner told me a 20 gallon would be fine for 4 or 5 of them because they would stay small in a smaller tank, even though they grow to over 12 inches.

 

[Gilli]

People make me sick. if they really cared about fish then they would gladly accept any advise to look after them properly and if they dont give a fig why do they have them? Ask him if he really wants to cause fish stress illness and inevitably kill them? Tell him its just plain cruel and if he still carries on think about changing your friends!

 

[B13]

Take him to the London Aquarium and point out the adult Silver Sharks there. They are over 1ft long. Then grab an expert and get him/her to explain why tank cycling is VITAL!!

After all, you wouldn't just buy a puppy (I hope!) expecting it to remain puppy-sized and not bother making sure that the kennel was comfortable, warm and not painted in the kind of paint that would gas the poor fella to death or situated under an outflow pipe that gushes out noxious fumes, sewerage, etc!

Ask him if he would expect a Great Dane puppy to remain the size of a terrier - coz that's the kind of comparison he'll understand. And if he says "It will only grow to the size of the tank" remind him that a Great Dane puppy locked in a shoebox would only grow to the size of the box (due to stunted growth) and then die.




Try and instill in the person that fish keeping is a RESPONSIBILITY not just something pretty in the corner that he can forget about. Ask him if he is prepared to spend the two hours a fortnight that a tank will need to maintain?

Remind him that this is a life and a living breathing creature that he is taking on and seeing as HE will be responsible for this animals entire eco-system, HE has to acknowledge the responsibility that taking care of fish involves.

Sure, it's not like having a kid, but any life that we humans are prepared to take on and make our pets must be treated as a resposibilty and not a pick-up-and-put-down hobby like stamp collecting!!!