I Know It's Christmas, Sorry To Spoil It, But I'm At An All Ti

[Frazzledazzle]

Hope your Christmas didn't go too badly mate, you feeling any better? The only advice i can give is get your head down and put your mind to something else. If i had a pound for every time a girl went back on her word, or let me down, i'd be in Barbados. It's a fact of life, and i know you're 16 so i've got four years on you but in those four years i've learnt a hell of a lot. When you look back you'll realise how much you've learnt. Don't let it affect you, if someone doesn't want you for who you are, tell them where to go.

From my own experiences i did well at school, bombed out of sixth form with U's all round and went straight into the army. All the while having girl troubles, girlfriends cheating etc etc the usual. It was a mental time for my head, and at times i thought i was depressed but i dragged myself up out of the #105### and into bliss as i call it! Don't put too much emphasis on girls, in my opinion think of your career etc first, then girls. Of course have some fun, but know the line between fun and serious. Just be clear, honest and don't take rubbish from anyone. I had a look at your blog, it's class mate. I'm not as fit as i was in the army but i'd be up for some charity work definately!

The amount of trouble i've been in over women is incredible! Don't let your heart rule your head!! I've been single for over a year now after becoming wise to the devious tricks of women, and of course i've had my flings in that time but i've never let a woman gain the upper hand. Recently i've tried to get back onto the 'dating' scene, met a nice girl and took her out. I was due to go for afternoon drinks with her the Friday just gone, she ignored my texts and Facebook messages for 3 days then mysteriously text at 4am on Christmas Eve morning saying she'd been in a car accident and was shaken up but okay. So i ignored her as i don't believe a word and she inboxed me on Facebook last night at 3am saying she misses me and hope i had a good christmas. See what i mean about women?? Blocked her!! Don't get sucked in and PM me for a chat and a rant!

 

[Rummynose]

Hope your Christmas didn't go too badly mate, you feeling any better? The only advice i can give is get your head down and put your mind to something else. If i had a pound for every time a girl went back on her word, or let me down, i'd be in Barbados. It's a fact of life, and i know you're 16 so i've got four years on you but in those four years i've learnt a hell of a lot. When you look back you'll realise how much you've learnt. Don't let it affect you, if someone doesn't want you for who you are, tell them where to go.

From my own experiences i did well at school, bombed out of sixth form with U's all round and went straight into the army. All the while having girl troubles, girlfriends cheating etc etc the usual. It was a mental time for my head, and at times i thought i was depressed but i dragged myself up out of the #105### and into bliss as i call it! Don't put too much emphasis on girls, in my opinion think of your career etc first, then girls. Of course have some fun, but know the line between fun and serious. Just be clear, honest and don't take rubbish from anyone. I had a look at your blog, it's class mate. I'm not as fit as i was in the army but i'd be up for some charity work definately!

The amount of trouble i've been in over women is incredible! Don't let your heart rule your head!! I've been single for over a year now after becoming wise to the devious tricks of women, and of course i've had my flings in that time but i've never let a woman gain the upper hand. Recently i've tried to get back onto the 'dating' scene, met a nice girl and took her out. I was due to go for afternoon drinks with her the Friday just gone, she ignored my texts and Facebook messages for 3 days then mysteriously text at 4am on Christmas Eve morning saying she'd been in a car accident and was shaken up but okay. So i ignored her as i don't believe a word and she inboxed me on Facebook last night at 3am saying she misses me and hope i had a good christmas. See what i mean about women?? Blocked her!! Don't get sucked in and PM me for a chat and a rant!

Oh boy, I really, really shouldn't......but I think not to comment on this would be even worse!!!
Sure, there is a saying that goes "misery loves company" but come on, this kid is 16 years old! Such bitterness is hardly going to help him figure things out for himself. Let him have the chance to find his path to build good relationships!!!

 

[moochy13]

at 16 very few people have experienced much. we all thought we knew everything, and however mature we think we are at 16, we just arent. we live a very sheltered, easy life until you leave education, whenever that may be. at 16, the last thing you need to be worried about is bogging yourself down in the whys and why nots of relationships. getting a job is when the real world starts, paying bills, earning money to live, thats when things take shape and you can really define how your life is going to be. which is why getting a decent education/job is important.

really you just need to increase the circle of people you socialise with. you say you run and ride, there must be local clubs or something ? college is a hard place to make friends, as you say its very much a popularity contest, and if you're not in 'the clique', i guess it can be hard. if/when you get yourself a job, its a lot easier. generally you're with much maturer people, they generally have nothing to prove to anybody, and its much easier to make friends when its not all about popularity and how much you can drink at parties

different ways of life work for different people. i went through school and college with all top grades, thinking i was going to be earning loads of money. yet here i am working part time in crappy tesco. with the economy as it is, and work difficult to find, getting a good job really is the most important thing to making sure your life after education is as good as possible. where i live, workwise you take what you can get. you may have a broken heart, that will heal. im 26, single and living at home earning a pitiful wage, even though i put the effort in at college. its just the roll of the dice. and i got a crap roll.

you should be enjoying a few more years of carefree living, obviously you need to keep the whole career thing in mind, but dont get too serious on anything at 16, you're still a child, however mature you are.

 

[Frazzledazzle]

Hope your Christmas didn't go too badly mate, you feeling any better? The only advice i can give is get your head down and put your mind to something else. If i had a pound for every time a girl went back on her word, or let me down, i'd be in Barbados. It's a fact of life, and i know you're 16 so i've got four years on you but in those four years i've learnt a hell of a lot. When you look back you'll realise how much you've learnt. Don't let it affect you, if someone doesn't want you for who you are, tell them where to go.

From my own experiences i did well at school, bombed out of sixth form with U's all round and went straight into the army. All the while having girl troubles, girlfriends cheating etc etc the usual. It was a mental time for my head, and at times i thought i was depressed but i dragged myself up out of the #105### and into bliss as i call it! Don't put too much emphasis on girls, in my opinion think of your career etc first, then girls. Of course have some fun, but know the line between fun and serious. Just be clear, honest and don't take rubbish from anyone. I had a look at your blog, it's class mate. I'm not as fit as i was in the army but i'd be up for some charity work definately!

The amount of trouble i've been in over women is incredible! Don't let your heart rule your head!! I've been single for over a year now after becoming wise to the devious tricks of women, and of course i've had my flings in that time but i've never let a woman gain the upper hand. Recently i've tried to get back onto the 'dating' scene, met a nice girl and took her out. I was due to go for afternoon drinks with her the Friday just gone, she ignored my texts and Facebook messages for 3 days then mysteriously text at 4am on Christmas Eve morning saying she'd been in a car accident and was shaken up but okay. So i ignored her as i don't believe a word and she inboxed me on Facebook last night at 3am saying she misses me and hope i had a good christmas. See what i mean about women?? Blocked her!! Don't get sucked in and PM me for a chat and a rant!

Oh boy, I really, really shouldn't......but I think not to comment on this would be even worse!!!
Sure, there is a saying that goes "misery loves company" but come on, this kid is 16 years old! Such bitterness is hardly going to help him figure things out for himself. Let him have the chance to find his path to build good relationships!!!

As stated, the best way is to get your head down and put your mind to something else.

I and others find sharing experiences and advice to be helpful in these situations as you then feel you're not alone. If you don't like that, lump it.

Cheers.

 

[Rummynose]

Hope your Christmas didn't go too badly mate, you feeling any better? The only advice i can give is get your head down and put your mind to something else. If i had a pound for every time a girl went back on her word, or let me down, i'd be in Barbados. It's a fact of life, and i know you're 16 so i've got four years on you but in those four years i've learnt a hell of a lot. When you look back you'll realise how much you've learnt. Don't let it affect you, if someone doesn't want you for who you are, tell them where to go.

From my own experiences i did well at school, bombed out of sixth form with U's all round and went straight into the army. All the while having girl troubles, girlfriends cheating etc etc the usual. It was a mental time for my head, and at times i thought i was depressed but i dragged myself up out of the #105### and into bliss as i call it! Don't put too much emphasis on girls, in my opinion think of your career etc first, then girls. Of course have some fun, but know the line between fun and serious. Just be clear, honest and don't take rubbish from anyone. I had a look at your blog, it's class mate. I'm not as fit as i was in the army but i'd be up for some charity work definately!

The amount of trouble i've been in over women is incredible! Don't let your heart rule your head!! I've been single for over a year now after becoming wise to the devious tricks of women, and of course i've had my flings in that time but i've never let a woman gain the upper hand. Recently i've tried to get back onto the 'dating' scene, met a nice girl and took her out. I was due to go for afternoon drinks with her the Friday just gone, she ignored my texts and Facebook messages for 3 days then mysteriously text at 4am on Christmas Eve morning saying she'd been in a car accident and was shaken up but okay. So i ignored her as i don't believe a word and she inboxed me on Facebook last night at 3am saying she misses me and hope i had a good christmas. See what i mean about women?? Blocked her!! Don't get sucked in and PM me for a chat and a rant!

Oh boy, I really, really shouldn't......but I think not to comment on this would be even worse!!!
Sure, there is a saying that goes "misery loves company" but come on, this kid is 16 years old! Such bitterness is hardly going to help him figure things out for himself. Let him have the chance to find his path to build good relationships!!!

As stated, the best way is to get your head down and put your mind to something else.

I and others find sharing experiences and advice to be helpful in these situations as you then feel you're not alone. If you don't like that, lump it.

Cheers.

I have no problem with people sharing their experiences, as I agree that it is helpful. Someone sharing his bitterness with a child.....that I have a problem with!!!!

 

[Ps3Steveo]

Sounds to me like someone was doing to her what she was doing to you. It happens a lot when your that young, people get messed around and fall back to something easy when feeling sorry for themselves.

Cheer up tho mate, I'd gave a read through your own first post everytime you get confused. I bet in a few months time or when the next gf cones along you'll look back and think oh dear I can't believe how messed up I was over someone who clearly is not worth it.

Trust me

 

[Frazzledazzle]

Hope your Christmas didn't go too badly mate, you feeling any better? The only advice i can give is get your head down and put your mind to something else. If i had a pound for every time a girl went back on her word, or let me down, i'd be in Barbados. It's a fact of life, and i know you're 16 so i've got four years on you but in those four years i've learnt a hell of a lot. When you look back you'll realise how much you've learnt. Don't let it affect you, if someone doesn't want you for who you are, tell them where to go.

From my own experiences i did well at school, bombed out of sixth form with U's all round and went straight into the army. All the while having girl troubles, girlfriends cheating etc etc the usual. It was a mental time for my head, and at times i thought i was depressed but i dragged myself up out of the #105### and into bliss as i call it! Don't put too much emphasis on girls, in my opinion think of your career etc first, then girls. Of course have some fun, but know the line between fun and serious. Just be clear, honest and don't take rubbish from anyone. I had a look at your blog, it's class mate. I'm not as fit as i was in the army but i'd be up for some charity work definately!

The amount of trouble i've been in over women is incredible! Don't let your heart rule your head!! I've been single for over a year now after becoming wise to the devious tricks of women, and of course i've had my flings in that time but i've never let a woman gain the upper hand. Recently i've tried to get back onto the 'dating' scene, met a nice girl and took her out. I was due to go for afternoon drinks with her the Friday just gone, she ignored my texts and Facebook messages for 3 days then mysteriously text at 4am on Christmas Eve morning saying she'd been in a car accident and was shaken up but okay. So i ignored her as i don't believe a word and she inboxed me on Facebook last night at 3am saying she misses me and hope i had a good christmas. See what i mean about women?? Blocked her!! Don't get sucked in and PM me for a chat and a rant!

Oh boy, I really, really shouldn't......but I think not to comment on this would be even worse!!!
Sure, there is a saying that goes "misery loves company" but come on, this kid is 16 years old! Such bitterness is hardly going to help him figure things out for himself. Let him have the chance to find his path to build good relationships!!!

As stated, the best way is to get your head down and put your mind to something else.

I and others find sharing experiences and advice to be helpful in these situations as you then feel you're not alone. If you don't like that, lump it.

Cheers.

I have no problem with people sharing their experiences, as I agree that it is helpful. Someone sharing his bitterness with a child.....that I have a problem with!!!!

Have i missed something here? What is your problem? The original poster asked for peoples advice and opinion. If you don't like what i replied with, don't get your back up because you don't like what i've replied with. Did i ask for your opinion? I don't see anywhere that i did. If you've got a problem with me, can't you just ignore my posts or simply get over yourself and grow up?

Once again the point that you've totally glossed over with your narrow minded view is that he should keep his mind busy with activity to eventually feel better. Do you want me to say it a fourth time, just for clarity?

 

[Rummynose]

Hope your Christmas didn't go too badly mate, you feeling any better? The only advice i can give is get your head down and put your mind to something else. If i had a pound for every time a girl went back on her word, or let me down, i'd be in Barbados. It's a fact of life, and i know you're 16 so i've got four years on you but in those four years i've learnt a hell of a lot. When you look back you'll realise how much you've learnt. Don't let it affect you, if someone doesn't want you for who you are, tell them where to go.

From my own experiences i did well at school, bombed out of sixth form with U's all round and went straight into the army. All the while having girl troubles, girlfriends cheating etc etc the usual. It was a mental time for my head, and at times i thought i was depressed but i dragged myself up out of the #105### and into bliss as i call it! Don't put too much emphasis on girls, in my opinion think of your career etc first, then girls. Of course have some fun, but know the line between fun and serious. Just be clear, honest and don't take rubbish from anyone. I had a look at your blog, it's class mate. I'm not as fit as i was in the army but i'd be up for some charity work definately!

The amount of trouble i've been in over women is incredible! Don't let your heart rule your head!! I've been single for over a year now after becoming wise to the devious tricks of women, and of course i've had my flings in that time but i've never let a woman gain the upper hand. Recently i've tried to get back onto the 'dating' scene, met a nice girl and took her out. I was due to go for afternoon drinks with her the Friday just gone, she ignored my texts and Facebook messages for 3 days then mysteriously text at 4am on Christmas Eve morning saying she'd been in a car accident and was shaken up but okay. So i ignored her as i don't believe a word and she inboxed me on Facebook last night at 3am saying she misses me and hope i had a good christmas. See what i mean about women?? Blocked her!! Don't get sucked in and PM me for a chat and a rant!

Oh boy, I really, really shouldn't......but I think not to comment on this would be even worse!!!
Sure, there is a saying that goes "misery loves company" but come on, this kid is 16 years old! Such bitterness is hardly going to help him figure things out for himself. Let him have the chance to find his path to build good relationships!!!

As stated, the best way is to get your head down and put your mind to something else.

I and others find sharing experiences and advice to be helpful in these situations as you then feel you're not alone. If you don't like that, lump it.

Cheers.

I have no problem with people sharing their experiences, as I agree that it is helpful. Someone sharing his bitterness with a child.....that I have a problem with!!!!

Have i missed something here? What is your problem? The original poster asked for peoples advice and opinion. If you don't like what i replied with, don't get your back up because you don't like what i've replied with. Did i ask for your opinion? I don't see anywhere that i did. If you've got a problem with me, can't you just ignore my posts or simply get over yourself and grow up?

Once again the point that you've totally glossed over with your narrow minded view is that he should keep his mind busy with activity to eventually feel better. Do you want me to say it a fourth time, just for clarity?

I did my duty to my conscience, that's all, I'm not the one insulting anyone!!!

 

[Dieses Madchen]

I personally think its okay for a 16yr old to rant to an adult who has been in the same position. Life is not easy. No one is here to make that claim. I am still young as well. I am still learning about life. If sharing my experiences and giving advice to someone younger than me and struggling is going to make it that much easier for them, then by all means, rant away. I will tell you everything that I have been through as well as what it is like to be me now. Sometimes that is all someone in a tight spot needs. they need to know they are not alone.

 

[Carp4U]

Hope your Christmas didn't go too badly mate, you feeling any better? The only advice i can give is get your head down and put your mind to something else. If i had a pound for every time a girl went back on her word, or let me down, i'd be in Barbados. It's a fact of life, and i know you're 16 so i've got four years on you but in those four years i've learnt a hell of a lot. When you look back you'll realise how much you've learnt. Don't let it affect you, if someone doesn't want you for who you are, tell them where to go.

From my own experiences i did well at school, bombed out of sixth form with U's all round and went straight into the army. All the while having girl troubles, girlfriends cheating etc etc the usual. It was a mental time for my head, and at times i thought i was depressed but i dragged myself up out of the #105### and into bliss as i call it! Don't put too much emphasis on girls, in my opinion think of your career etc first, then girls. Of course have some fun, but know the line between fun and serious. Just be clear, honest and don't take rubbish from anyone. I had a look at your blog, it's class mate. I'm not as fit as i was in the army but i'd be up for some charity work definately!

The amount of trouble i've been in over women is incredible! Don't let your heart rule your head!! I've been single for over a year now after becoming wise to the devious tricks of women, and of course i've had my flings in that time but i've never let a woman gain the upper hand. Recently i've tried to get back onto the 'dating' scene, met a nice girl and took her out. I was due to go for afternoon drinks with her the Friday just gone, she ignored my texts and Facebook messages for 3 days then mysteriously text at 4am on Christmas Eve morning saying she'd been in a car accident and was shaken up but okay. So i ignored her as i don't believe a word and she inboxed me on Facebook last night at 3am saying she misses me and hope i had a good christmas. See what i mean about women?? Blocked her!! Don't get sucked in and PM me for a chat and a rant!

The worst Christmas of my life, but thanks for asking. I always get a little sad at Christmas, thinking of the people on their own, and the suffering in the world, but I had been so looking forward to spending time with her (and to so much more in the future) and had that thrown away from me. I actually posted this thread on Christmas eve at 1am. I read everything again and everything came rushing back. I didn't want to get out of bed on Christmas Day, which is a change! I normally love Christmas. I was feeling ill anyway, which didn't help, but kept getting tearful and going upstairs and leaving my family to it. I texted her wishing her happy Christmas, and she said thankyou for the card and present which I'd sent her (this was after we'd fallen out, as she never gave me the chance to give her a card (and she asked me not to get her a present even though I already had) so I spent £7 on special delivery to get it to her before Christmas and she said I shouldn't have bothered. She may have reacted differently, but by text, she seemed like she didn't care). I've been up and down all the time, one minute I remember one thing I was told and the next I remember another and start getting tearful, and the realisation hits me once again. Now I know this sounds ridiculous, as it's just a girl, but I'm sure you and everyone else have been there before.. but I have a huge sense of regret for everything I did wrong, for not making it work, for not being more fun and for acting how I did afterwards. She told me so much (and lied and hid things from me so she 'didn't hurt me') and I've realised what I did wrong. People tell me not to change for her, to be myself, but the way I am I don't think I'm going to get many girlfriends (and I really want one as I've experienced how special it makes you feel and how much fun it is). It made me realise how many problems there are with me as a person, and how my unhappiness in general was simply hidden when I had a girlfriend, and came back straight after, and that probably influenced us breaking up, I should have sorted myself out before hand. And also, as I'm sure you all know, when you have your first really special memories with a girl, they mean so much and when you're not together it hurts and makes me sad to remember them. Worst of all (which happened about 3 weeks in and made things 10x worse) is that she told me the real truth as to why we split up, and shortly after my mum got involved and now she will hardly talk to me, wants to get on with her life with hew 'new friends', wants to move on, and says there's no way we can ever rekindle a friendship after what's happened with my mum (a good excuse not to be friends which she said we would be no matter what?) and that she wouldn't ever want to see me again and that there's no way we'll have anymore good times again. Quote: 'it's all over'. That hurt. What also hurts is that I know I've missed out on so much more we could have done, wish I'd got a chance to do things again to make them better, and that she will enjoy those things with someone else instead. She's trying to forget about me, when really all I did was ever care for her, and the aggro started because of what she did, not me. Even then I was still apologetic! She will reply to a text now and then but then ignore it after a few and never replies. I know she still checks my Facebook though, as she's picked up on things. She says I post 'too much, too often'.. but that's who I am, is that a good enough excuse to dislike someone?!

Being the person that I am, sensitive, thoughtful but also very emotional, stuff like this will always hurt me so much more. It doesn't seem to have bothered her, she seems to be back to normal. Obviously I don't know what's going on her head but she doesn't seem to care about what we had or what we could have. She only seems to care about herself and what she wants. She's a stronger person than me, but I have greater respect for the people around me, believe in forgiveness and she just thinks it's about meeting more people to have fun with and forgetting the old ones. Not fair. Over-exaggerating things, telling her how I felt, acting desperate and emotional, as if I couldn't live without her (realising I'd lost her was the most painful experience of my life so far), just made it worse because being quite strong as she is, it probably just made me look weak and annoying when she probably wants someone tough (who may also treat her like #105###, but she said if she gets hurt she'll be upset but won't deal with it like I did, in other words she thinks I'm ridiculous). She shows little regard to my feelings. Telling me the truth at first would have hurt a lot less. Being friends isn't much to ask, but I tell myself, if she was a good person she wouldn't let anyone else get in the way of a friendship no matter what (and it wasn't my fault!). She has more friends, she is closer to her family, and has more distractions (More work) and has more pressure than me, so she's going to get over it easily. I have more hobbies, but they don't even seem enjoyable to me anymore, so I know I'm screwed! I have more time and opportunity to dwell on these things as I'm always alone, have less fun, and I'm always lonely. I'd make a brilliant friend, I'd be fun, always be there for someone and would do anything for anyone but nobody seems to want to know me.. so with girls I'd have no chance because I know social status is important! But she did acknowledge that I'm a nice person, just 'not right for her'...

As for school, I did well at GCSE, coming out with 10A's, but now I've dropped two A-levels and I'm struggling to keep up with the ones I've kept with. I hate sixth form, I feel like giving up, I've had U's so far and I frankly don't care about my exams in January, I haven't started working for them yet and don't intend to. I think I am depressed, but unlike you I don't seem to be able to just get myself up as I have nothing to do it with, people around me always let me down. I don't seem to be able to have fun, and I have nothing to look forward to because when I do it always gets cancelled and i become miserable again... If I was happy before the relationship, I'd have been fine now, but it's just brought it all back..

Sorry for the huge post guys, I've been busy at work for the past couple of days (and the next 9 coming up) so not had time to reply but thanks SO MUCH for your support, I really feel like I can open my heart to you guys, like you're always there, and you give good and honest advice from your past experience, it means so much and without it I wouldn't have got through which is seeming to be a difficult experience for me! I will reply to all of you later on

 

[Carp4U]

I personally think its okay for a 16yr old to rant to an adult who has been in the same position. Life is not easy. No one is here to make that claim. I am still young as well. I am still learning about life. If sharing my experiences and giving advice to someone younger than me and struggling is going to make it that much easier for them, then by all means, rant away. I will tell you everything that I have been through as well as what it is like to be me now. Sometimes that is all someone in a tight spot needs. they need to know they are not alone.

I agree, and having Fishforums here so that I can come and talk to other people who have experienced what I have, is brilliant, no matter what their age. Life isn't easy, unless you live it in a boring way which I'm sure none of us here do like you say. Sharing your experiences and advice with me is so helpful, and it does make it easier, thankyou! Knowing I'm not alone is nice too, because I generally am alone, I do alright on my own, I'm a world record holder due to me doing something on my own and I'll always be independent, but I'd love to have someone to love too, and someone who loves me the way I am. Am I right to think that, when you find real love, the relationship will work naturally, as long as both people feel the same way? This whole experience has made me think.. what IS love? What's the difference between it and a relationship, what is a relationship, what is a crush, what is just attraction, what is the point in a girlfriend, when are you classed as 'together' and how is this defined..., confused!!!

Also, seen as you're still young and you've learnt this all before me can I ask something else? When you found someone else (i.e. another partner), did the memories from your last relationship stop making you feel sad? Everyone keeps telling me I'll find someone even better and be glad because if my ex hadn't have dumped me I'd have never met her, but I'm not convinced..

She told me she didn't feel the same way about me. I don't know what I did wrong, why I wasn't good enough, why I didn't make more effort... and why she seems so keen to forget about me..

 

[Carp4U]

Sounds to me like someone was doing to her what she was doing to you. It happens a lot when your that young, people get messed around and fall back to something easy when feeling sorry for themselves.

Cheer up tho mate, I'd gave a read through your own first post everytime you get confused. I bet in a few months time or when the next gf cones along you'll look back and think oh dear I can't believe how messed up I was over someone who clearly is not worth it.

Trust me

I don't think that's the case, but it's an interesting point. As i'm not at her school (which could be a good thing, because it's easier to move on), but then again if we'd lived nearer then we could still be together! I always wonder if she gets attention off other boys. I think she's not used to the pressures of a boyfriend, even though I was chilled out and treated her like a princess. Maybe she was after a 'bad-boy'.. She said that I act as if I'm the only boy out there who doesn't treat like girls like #105###... well, from what I hear on Facebook, I think she may be surprised! I think personally, thinking about it, that the first reason we split up was that she got bored and had lots of other reasons to make her think it couldn't work, but she said it wasn't working. She contradicted herself a lot and changed her mind, so she was either messed up herself or she'd lied to me. I'd like to think it was a difficult situation for her too, rather than her just seeing me as some sort of obstacle to get rid of, but I'll never know cos I never got the chance to see her, I bet she bottled it up and didn't show it, but she was upset. Although, I think, if she wanted us to be together enough, she wouldn't have finished it so suddenly and unfairly... I've sent so many messages like the one above, in lots of different forms, depending on the amount of information I knew and my mood (I kept finding out new stuff all the time and it kept giving me ups and downs, from thinking we were getting back together and then that we were never going to see each other again) so reading everything could be difficult. But i've got the messages kept anyway. Bearing in mind that the post I put up there only has half of the story in it!

Cheering up seems difficult. I keep getting let down, the break up has unearthed lots of other problems in my life I'd brushed under the carpet and wish I'd sorted out because I think they impacted me and my ex being together too, as it made me a miserable person. Too late now. Therefore it seems difficult to pick myself back up if you know what I mean. I really hope another special person comes into my life soon, as in a girlfriend, because I feel lonely and unloved, and I miss the feeling and fun. I have become bitter to her in a way, but I can't just forget about her because I keep thinking of her and seeing pictures and I still love her..

I can see you getting caught up in all the minutiae and stressing yourself out. Is there anyone at all around that you can talk to? It really would help, if there's anyone at all you can trust.

you can trust us
and were always here to help

edit: i dont know about you but when i get down i just look over at my fish tanks. i love to see nature (and try to capture it)

go out for long walks (or bike rides)

Unfortunately the only places I can really go on long walks is in my local forest, which is were we went on our first date, and even going back there just makes me feel depressed.. Our first date was actually a bike ride around this forest (yes, we were an odd couple but it was amazing!), so going on a bike ride around there alone won't make me feel much better, and the only other place I can go on my bike is somewhere that we went on the bikes too... I can't escape it. We even went on loads of walks with my dogs near my house, to all my favourite places, so I can't even go there without getting sad nowadays..

 

[Ps3Steveo]

Give it time and you'll see, when your young feelings come on strong, I was the same at your age bug it all changes as you get older, you won't think so but one day it willnpop into your head and you'll think that dude on the fish forums was right!!! Lol

 

[Carp4U]

Hope your Christmas didn't go too badly mate, you feeling any better? The only advice i can give is get your head down and put your mind to something else. If i had a pound for every time a girl went back on her word, or let me down, i'd be in Barbados. It's a fact of life, and i know you're 16 so i've got four years on you but in those four years i've learnt a hell of a lot. When you look back you'll realise how much you've learnt. Don't let it affect you, if someone doesn't want you for who you are, tell them where to go.

From my own experiences i did well at school, bombed out of sixth form with U's all round and went straight into the army. All the while having girl troubles, girlfriends cheating etc etc the usual. It was a mental time for my head, and at times i thought i was depressed but i dragged myself up out of the #105### and into bliss as i call it! Don't put too much emphasis on girls, in my opinion think of your career etc first, then girls. Of course have some fun, but know the line between fun and serious. Just be clear, honest and don't take rubbish from anyone. I had a look at your blog, it's class mate. I'm not as fit as i was in the army but i'd be up for some charity work definately!

The amount of trouble i've been in over women is incredible! Don't let your heart rule your head!! I've been single for over a year now after becoming wise to the devious tricks of women, and of course i've had my flings in that time but i've never let a woman gain the upper hand. Recently i've tried to get back onto the 'dating' scene, met a nice girl and took her out. I was due to go for afternoon drinks with her the Friday just gone, she ignored my texts and Facebook messages for 3 days then mysteriously text at 4am on Christmas Eve morning saying she'd been in a car accident and was shaken up but okay. So i ignored her as i don't believe a word and she inboxed me on Facebook last night at 3am saying she misses me and hope i had a good christmas. See what i mean about women?? Blocked her!! Don't get sucked in and PM me for a chat and a rant!

Oh boy, I really, really shouldn't......but I think not to comment on this would be even worse!!!
Sure, there is a saying that goes "misery loves company" but come on, this kid is 16 years old! Such bitterness is hardly going to help him figure things out for himself. Let him have the chance to find his path to build good relationships!!!

As stated, the best way is to get your head down and put your mind to something else.

I and others find sharing experiences and advice to be helpful in these situations as you then feel you're not alone. If you don't like that, lump it.

Cheers.

I have no problem with people sharing their experiences, as I agree that it is helpful. Someone sharing his bitterness with a child.....that I have a problem with!!!!

Have i missed something here? What is your problem? The original poster asked for peoples advice and opinion. If you don't like what i replied with, don't get your back up because you don't like what i've replied with. Did i ask for your opinion? I don't see anywhere that i did. If you've got a problem with me, can't you just ignore my posts or simply get over yourself and grow up?

Once again the point that you've totally glossed over with your narrow minded view is that he should keep his mind busy with activity to eventually feel better. Do you want me to say it a fourth time, just for clarity?

I did my duty to my conscience, that's all, I'm not the one insulting anyone!!!

Guys, please don't fall out because of me, I've already ruined my family's Christmas because of me being so down about this and miserable (and my mum's sister has 2 brain tumours and kidney cancer which hasn't helped our mood much either). I appreciate and understand what both of you are saying, even though they are pretty contrasting opinions on love/relationships as I'm sure you've both had different experiences and it sounds like Frazzledazzle has had a tough time with relationships too. I see that Rummynose is trying to defend me and Frazzledazzle is trying to share his experiences.. I don't see any bitterness, he's just sharing his experiences, and they don't sound like very nice ones, I feel for him. I'm just a kid, even though I don't act like it, but I can understand all of this stuff. I was indeed just after advice and opinions, and I've listened to what everyone's said. Nobody's insulting anyone. I don't want to sound like I'm criticising one of you because I appreciate both of you were just trying to help me and you disagreed on a few things and things were misinterpreted. Please don't argue because of me, just keep giving advice, if people argue I feel worse..

 

[Carp4U]

Hope your Christmas didn't go too badly mate, you feeling any better? The only advice i can give is get your head down and put your mind to something else. If i had a pound for every time a girl went back on her word, or let me down, i'd be in Barbados. It's a fact of life, and i know you're 16 so i've got four years on you but in those four years i've learnt a hell of a lot. When you look back you'll realise how much you've learnt. Don't let it affect you, if someone doesn't want you for who you are, tell them where to go.

From my own experiences i did well at school, bombed out of sixth form with U's all round and went straight into the army. All the while having girl troubles, girlfriends cheating etc etc the usual. It was a mental time for my head, and at times i thought i was depressed but i dragged myself up out of the #105### and into bliss as i call it! Don't put too much emphasis on girls, in my opinion think of your career etc first, then girls. Of course have some fun, but know the line between fun and serious. Just be clear, honest and don't take rubbish from anyone. I had a look at your blog, it's class mate. I'm not as fit as i was in the army but i'd be up for some charity work definately!

The amount of trouble i've been in over women is incredible! Don't let your heart rule your head!! I've been single for over a year now after becoming wise to the devious tricks of women, and of course i've had my flings in that time but i've never let a woman gain the upper hand. Recently i've tried to get back onto the 'dating' scene, met a nice girl and took her out. I was due to go for afternoon drinks with her the Friday just gone, she ignored my texts and Facebook messages for 3 days then mysteriously text at 4am on Christmas Eve morning saying she'd been in a car accident and was shaken up but okay. So i ignored her as i don't believe a word and she inboxed me on Facebook last night at 3am saying she misses me and hope i had a good christmas. See what i mean about women?? Blocked her!! Don't get sucked in and PM me for a chat and a rant!

Oh boy, I really, really shouldn't......but I think not to comment on this would be even worse!!!
Sure, there is a saying that goes "misery loves company" but come on, this kid is 16 years old! Such bitterness is hardly going to help him figure things out for himself. Let him have the chance to find his path to build good relationships!!!

As stated, the best way is to get your head down and put your mind to something else.

I and others find sharing experiences and advice to be helpful in these situations as you then feel you're not alone. If you don't like that, lump it.

Cheers.

Finding it difficult to focus on something else, as everything just reminds me of her, and I've lost the enjoyment in all the things I used to enjoy, so I feel trapped.. Oh, and in response to your post up there as well Frazzle, I'm glad you liked my blog. I'm mad about fitness. I'd have thought all the stuff I do would attract more girls! It attracted my first girlfriend, because she found ME by seeing me in the local newspaper about my 3 Peaks acheivement (she was into that sort of stuff and had done it herself), and she Facebooked me and the rest as they say is (painful) history. You'd also have thought that with all that stuff I wouldn't have a reason to feel depressed now but somehow I do, as I'm lonely and not having much fun in my life. As someone said further up in the thread, I need more fun in my life. I know I do, but the things I enjoy are usually difficult to get to and rely on someone else (like rock climbing) and I normally get let down. I only have one close friend as such who I see regularly (at school only though) and I have little in common with him and I don't want to do anything with him as I think I'd just get bored... I want female attention but I know girls are interested in how many friends you have etc.. I don't have many, because of the way I am, I'm a bit too grown up and have uncommon interests, and quite strong views against drinking/partying/smoking/drugs etc.. Nobody seems to want to know me despite be doing anything for anyone. i receive a huge amount of praise in my local community for the things I've done, but only off adults. Maybe other kids are jealous?! I dunno. Either way, that helps, but not enough. Most of the people I talk to are over 18, some are in their 40's! Maybe girls don't want someone mature...

Definitely give some charity work a go though, it's rewarding And I think as rummynose says, I need to find my own path through this stuff which only I can do, but getting advice and experience before hand is always going to be helpful

Give it time and you'll see, when your young feelings come on strong, I was the same at your age bug it all changes as you get older, you won't think so but one day it willnpop into your head and you'll think that dude on the fish forums was right!!! Lol

Like you say, time will tell, feelings will change, at my age and hers we're going to be going through different things which will impact and change us.. but one day, you never know, I will think the guy on Fishforums is right