I Can't Believe Her!

[SoCalMom]

By the sound of it, you're going to tell her it was impulsive or stupid. But you're right. I don't know what you are going to say. the "mad betta" stuff was evidentally a rep for us going around that we like to flame people whenever they do something to their bettas, or rather, that we're shortempered.

Gotcha. I had never heard the mad betta keeper thing lol. I don't see it as flaming...I see it as standing up for a living being

Anyway, as of right now I don't even know what I'm going to say to her. I need to talk to my husband when he gets off of work. He always has the best advice. I may just not say anything and stop talking to her. I just don't know right now

I appreciate you're angry and want to get it off your chest but you can't expect to post on the board and not expect people to have a say!
I would give my opinion but it will go unheeded therefore I will say nothing and you'll do what you think is right.

Yea, that's fine they can obviously have an opinion. It's just the advice that is given when it's not asked for


UGHHH...I'm sorry for being snappy at everyone. I'm still annoyed and angry

 

[K.J.]

Lol yeah... but what I would do is call her up, ask her about the bettas, if she denies she did it LOL then you can get mad! but if not just tell her it was wrong to do and see how she reacts.

 

[jollysue]

What she did was not rational, so I see no need to be rational with her

I think what some of us are getting at is that irrationality is irrationaliy regardless of the source.

One thing I have trouble understanding is, why should irrational behavior toward a fish be sanctioned but not irrational behavior toward a person? Is "do unto others" only applicable to animals?

It is true that our fish depend on us and are in our care by our choice. They are defenseless beasts. But once we engage another human, they also are in our care by our choice. In my philosophy, we will answer for our treatment of all life, human as well as breasts.

 

[SoCalMom]

What she did was not rational, so I see no need to be rational with her

I think what some of us are getting at is that irrationality is irrationaliy regardless of the source.

One thing I have trouble understanding is, why should irrational behavior toward a fish be sanctioned but not irrational behavior toward a person? Is "do unto others" only applicable to animals?

It is true that our fish depend on us and are in our care by our choice. They are defenseless beasts. But once we engage another human, they also are in our care by our choice. In my philosophy, we will answer for our treatment of all life, human as well as breasts.

I'm going to talk to her...not flush her down a toilet to her certain death...

 

[poopsydrew]

What she did was not rational, so I see no need to be rational with her

I think what some of us are getting at is that irrationality is irrationaliy regardless of the source.

One thing I have trouble understanding is, why should irrational behavior toward a fish be sanctioned but not irrational behavior toward a person? Is "do unto others" only applicable to animals?

It is true that our fish depend on us and are in our care by our choice. They are defenseless beasts. But once we engage another human, they also are in our care by our choice. In my philosophy, we will answer for our treatment of all life, human as well as breasts.

I'm going to talk to her...not flush her down a toilet to her certain death...

well duh you would clog the toilet Lighten up a lil socalmom.

Drew

 

[jollysue]

Is there a Smiley where it goes right over his head?

 

[SoCalMom]

What she did was not rational, so I see no need to be rational with her

I think what some of us are getting at is that irrationality is irrationaliy regardless of the source.

One thing I have trouble understanding is, why should irrational behavior toward a fish be sanctioned but not irrational behavior toward a person? Is "do unto others" only applicable to animals?

It is true that our fish depend on us and are in our care by our choice. They are defenseless beasts. But once we engage another human, they also are in our care by our choice. In my philosophy, we will answer for our treatment of all life, human as well as breasts.

I'm going to talk to her...not flush her down a toilet to her certain death...

well duh you would clog the toilet Lighten up a lil socalmom.

Drew

I'm not mad or anything lol. To me, that doesn't really apply in this situation. I do understand what she meant though. It was very well worded

Is there a Smiley where it goes right over his head?

I'm a woman. Hence the mom part of my user name

I understood what you meant. It doesn't apply to this situation; at least not to me. It was very well worded though




Alright...can we drop this now? I don't want it to turn into a huge stink

 

[poopsydrew]

Jollysue you are so silly.

 

[jollysue]

I don't want to bait or lecture--which I may have a little tendency to

What I meant was, that once we engage with another then I believe we have some responsibility for the outcome and to be a positive not a negative influence. Confronting bad behavior can be a constructive thing. But if it can't be done with maturity, then it is best not done. If a relationship is to be preserved then conflicts must be processed and worked through.

If venting here helps you to resolve your anger and work through it, then we will all be here to do our best to.

I admire your willingness to adress the posters with thought.
<<Sorry I was unclear. The "his" referred to the Smiley not the mom. >>

 

[Maxsmom]

I know you're not looking for advice - but I just wanted to point something out.

I think you have an excellent opportunity to educate her so the bettas she still has do not suffer the same fate if another issues comes up. At least then, the other 4 wouldn't have suffered in vain. You can still tell her how upset you are about what she did and that she didn't turn to you for help knowing you are a betta-person that might have helped. You can explain that the bettas almost certainly suffered and did not die the moment she flushed. They would suffer the unspeakable stress of being flushed... and being exposed to nasty chemicals in the water that would burn them. I highly doubt they would survive much after that... but who really knows. I hope they died more quickly than that.

I think I can understand the 4 tank rule because of maybe fire regulations (too much power?? not that I think they take a lot of power??) but yes, she had many options... she could've rehomed them, returned them to an LFS, divided her tanks - even just asking for help rather than make an irrational decision to do what she did.

You can still be angry with her... and I understand you feeling that way... but use this opportunity so that she doesn't do something so mean, irresponsible and cruel with the fish she still has. Good luck!!

 

[Demostene]

What a terrible thing for your friend to do. If I were in her position, I would at least try to find my bettas good homes. Flushing them down the toliet automatically drains their life away, by catching dieseases or the chloriene. She was probably stressed and panicky, but I don't believe thats a good enough excuse. If she had 3 days to get rid of the bettas, then that would have been more than enough time to find her bettas a nice, new home and sparing their lives.

R.I.P little buddies

 

[*Fishkies*]

Awe.

Just be sure to give her the open thought though, if your able, that you'll take her bettas and help re-home them next time in case her landlord pulls something like that again. Always hate to hear stories like that with animals and landlords disagreeing.

 

[knt5005]

You know, you should have talked to me! I went from adopting two of Zafirah's rescue babies to...well...about 10. I wish she would have searched out other options. Though an LFS may not take the fish, I bet any of the associates in aquatics would have. And if there really was NO other way...she should have euthanized them with clove oil first so they do not suffer. Such a shame...

I don't think anyone should tell you what to do or say to her. If you feel that strongly about the life of a betta and you feel it is enough reason to end a friendship; then by all means, do it. Don't change your standards because some people on here rant about them.

That and if my friend did that...I would try to talk, but I would totally yell at them too. RIP little bettas

 

[Amunet]

I say give her a piece of your mind!
People would be up in arms if she had had say.. 4 cats or 4 dogs, was told she had to get rid of half of them.. so instead of trying to find homes for them, she just took them to a vet and had them put to sleep.
I see this as the same thing.
She had plenty of time to at least TRY to find homes for the bettas and she didn't even do that.
I feel sorry for her other fish. No telling what fate they may come to when she goes on another flushing spree.

 

[Synirr]

the "mad betta" stuff was evidentally a rep for us going around that we like to flame people whenever they do something to their bettas, or rather, that we're shortempered.

*Foams at the mouth*

Flies... honey... vinegar?

She could have abandoned them in front of the LFS in old Ragu jars like someone did with their betta at Aquatek a while back. The funny thing is we'd have given them store credit for the trade-in had they bothered to come inside and ask if we'd take him