Actually as another member mentioned, clove oil acts as an anesthetic so it's quite like putting an animal to sleep.
It can be humane, in fact, to strike the fish in the head or fling against a hard surface to cause instant death...but it's not quite for the faint at heart.
Sorry about that. I don't think anyone is trying to fight, and I don't think anyone's trying to be insensitive to your sadness, and you certainly are not causing any problems here. There are different opinions about these things. In the end, you have to make the best decision you can and do what you think is best. We are very sorry for your loss.