Proper Etiquette/good Manners

[Caprichoso]

I by no means am an entirely proper person with perfect manners. However, I find it unfortunate that good manners seem to be much more difficult to come by. I was raised to be well behaved at the dinner table(no elbows, sit up straight, no belching, cut food properly, keep mouth closed, etc). I say "please and thank you". Plus, I always open the door for people when I can, I don't interrupt others, just general consideration I guess. It seems to me that when you go out in public to eat that people act like a bunch of pigs, snuffling up their food like it's truffles and children are running rampant while the parents are completely checked out of reality. I hardly ever see men open the door for ladies, or anyone for that matter and people seem just apathetic about their appearance and behaviour in general. I am from generation X and my generation isn't much better either but it just seems like it's getting worse as time goes on. I can't even imagine how people will be behaving 50 years from now(if we haven't killed ourselves off by then). I think having good manners is important and that it's very important that it's taught to children.

 

[micko]

I have to agree. There is nothing worse than going out for food and having squealing brats running around and throwing food.
My kids are not perfect, they play up at home but that I can deal with. They WILL NOT misbehave outside, in a park, shopping centre or anywhere else for that matter, they have been brought up better than that. They open doors and respect their elders, apart from me and their mother that is, they're not that bad. Sitting at a dinner table for every meal is a must, it brings the family together and we're all able to talk about our day, what happened and how they are feeling. I sit with my elbows on the table, I don't know why, have tried not to but when I was a child we never sat around a table, just the television, so we don't make the kids do this at home.

Good topic by the way

 

[Caprichoso]

Thanks micko. I think it's really great that you have your family sit at the table and that you see the importance of it even though you didn't experience it growing up. My mom said that I misbehaved and had a huge tantrum in public once when I was little. Apparently she gave me such a cuff to the head and threatened to never bring me out again that I guess I never did it again. I was afraid of my mom when I was young and I think that sometimes that's not a bad thing

Another etiquette thing that I just thought of and this one irritates me to no end....is people on mobile/cell phones when they shouldn't be. Like at a movie theatre or when at the till paying for a purchase or when you're out for lunch with a friend and they are constantly TEXTING another friend in front of you while you're trying to have a conversation! Like, if you wanted to talk/text to _____ that badly, you should've went out for lunch with her instead! So rude

 

[micko]

The whole phone/texting thing is the same for me and my girlfriend, we both hate it.

Smoking has to be one of my worst hates though. Don't get me wrong, I smoke, just not in the house or the car, if on a journey I wait, whether the kids are in the car at the time or not, who wants a car that stinks of smoke when your selling it? My father, when he comes to visit always tries and smokes in the house, doesn't matter if the kids are in the same room or not!
I do have to tell him off and to go outside, I do it, so I expect others to do it in my own home.
It really annoys me when someone just thinks they can automatically smoke in my home just because I'm a smoker. When I tell them they must go outside its like I've asked them was their father any relation to shrek.

 

[Caprichoso]

Yeah, I'd never assume I could smoke in anyone's home, smoker or not. I don't smoke but I hear this same thing from other smokers all the time. Talk about bad etiquette, I saw someone put out their cigarette in someone else's house in a potted plant!! I was like, "Really dude?"

 

[chishnfips]

Yep manners are very important to me, but like you guys say it doesn't seem to be very important to others these days. I absolutely hate people eating with their mouth open or speaking with food in their mouth, its minging. If I wanted to see your food in your mouth I would ask for a picture lol. Two folk at my old work used to sit at the break table and all you could hear was there mouths chopping away at their food... and another lassie used to do it with her chewing gum

 

[fluttermoth]

Good manners are the lubricant of society!

I'm the same, all my kids have excellent manners; they've just been brought up that way; like yours, micko, mine aren't perfect; my almost 15 yo throws the occasional strop; he never slams his bedroom door though; it upsets his oscar, lol!

 

[Clarousel]

I have to agree good manners are really important. Sad to see how people don't bother about them much and some parents don't educate their kids or educate them the wrong way. Things that tick me off the most are not saying "please" and "thank you", staring and table manners.

 

[purplepatti]

Manners seem to be old fashoined these days, I was raised with manners and i raised my boy with good manners, People comment on his manners I remmeber a time when it was expected and nobody commented lol, sadly now he is in the minority, he isnt a goody two shoes either, normal kid, but he is respectful sometimes he is a bit lippy with me, but always aplogises, but never to others he wouldnt dare lol,

I think a lot of the reason kids are so disrespecful and bad mannered is we dont beleive in smacking our children anymore, I did but never had to much, and when people say to me they wouldnt hit their child i always say i never hit mine, i smacked him there is a world of difference and if you dont know that difference then your best not smacking them,

 

[Caprichoso]

Man alive, this one really drove me to the moon. I was at a wedding on Saturday and prior to the start of the ceremony, the church attendant politely asked everyone to please turn off their cell/mobile phones. Everyone heard her and all were seated when she said it. Unbelievably, 3 cell phones rang during the ceremony! I was dumbfounded. Then, if that wasn't bad enough already, there were children screaming their heads off and do you think the parents took them outside? No, of coarse not. I mean really, we know you want to see the ceremony but your demon spawn are ruining it for the rest of us. The gall of it.

 

[Ace Of Spades]

I believe basic good manners are essential in society, but Etiquette is only for some people, it tries to make people think they are better then everyone else. But please and thank you's are very important imho.

 

[Rickzayne]

I try my best xD

I struggle keeping my elbows off the table tho...

 

[Caprichoso]

I believe basic good manners are essential in society, but Etiquette is only for some people, it tries to make people think they are better then everyone else. But please and thank you's are very important imho.

Agreed. I couldn't imagine having a full place setting for every meal of the day, because who's going to do all those dishes? Yup, me. I think proper etiquette looks nice but some of it is not very practical.

 

[M_J]

yes, I believe in good manners, raised the kids to have them too, seems to be not very common looking around though!

I remember walking through town one day with my middle son, an elderly ladies bag exploded and things went everywhere, my son being how he is ran straight over to help her - I followed him but was a few steps behind (old age haha), the look on her face was awful, she obviously thought he was a wrong 'un on sight, he had a hoodie on but didn't have the hood up, he just likes to have a rain shield if gets caught when out but who'd know that on first glance lol....she apologied to me after he'd helped her pick all her things up for pre-judging on a whim but I said I understood given how folks were these days, he went into a shop and asked if could have a new carrier bag for her too!!

ok my sons aren't perfect and they have hormonal spats like any other teens, but I can think I did at least half raise them right! Raised them on my own for a long time and when you get told single mothers can't raise good kids you start to wonder if they're right, I'm so glad mine prove them wrong!

I take shoes off if go into someone's house, been told to put them back on before now, not sure if should be offended or not like!

I was brought up with basic manners, told to treat other people like would want to be treated myself, and most of the time I try...sometimes I fail, but then I'm only human!

 

[Caprichoso]

yes, I believe in good manners, raised the kids to have them too, seems to be not very common looking around though!

I remember walking through town one day with my middle son, an elderly ladies bag exploded and things went everywhere, my son being how he is ran straight over to help her - I followed him but was a few steps behind (old age haha), the look on her face was awful, she obviously thought he was a wrong 'un on sight, he had a hoodie on but didn't have the hood up, he just likes to have a rain shield if gets caught when out but who'd know that on first glance lol....she apologied to me after he'd helped her pick all her things up for pre-judging on a whim but I said I understood given how folks were these days, he went into a shop and asked if could have a new carrier bag for her too!!

ok my sons aren't perfect and they have hormonal spats like any other teens, but I can think I did at least half raise them right! Raised them on my own for a long time and when you get told single mothers can't raise good kids you start to wonder if they're right, I'm so glad mine prove them wrong!

I take shoes off if go into someone's house, been told to put them back on before now, not sure if should be offended or not like!

I was brought up with basic manners, told to treat other people like would want to be treated myself, and most of the time I try...sometimes I fail, but then I'm only human!

Keeping the shoes on in the house, is this an American thing? I find it so strange because I would never leave my shoes on inside my house. I would be washing the floors every day! I see American movies and programs and they are laying on the sofa with sneakers on...isn't the sofa going to get dirty? I'm a neat freak so I just cannot fathom this. If someone came to my house and didn't take their shoes off, I would not be thrilled. But, it seems to be perfectly acceptable in other countries.