Need Help

[crimsontsavo]

I've been keeping fish since I was a small child, we always had at least 1 tank.
Since meeting my now husband I've really been missing being able to do what the hell I want.
I lived with my mum most of my life and she basically let me do whatever when it came to animals lol.
She likes fish too though.
Gotta consider his feelings and all.
So, hubby has like 8 or 9 hunting dogs, has ALWAYS had bunches of dogs, and I'm stuck with one measly 5 gallon tank I saved pocket change for.
Now hubby isnt a bad man, and he buys me stuff, lol, but he doesnt understand my -need- for meticulously scaped aquariums. He calls it all 'clutter'.
He wasn't there when I was daily hip deep in cool florida waters catching my latest menagerie. Some of you may remember, I don't know lol.
Maybe there's something wrong with me to be so grossly obsessed with fish and animals. But he KNEW about all this, I told him before we 'got together' lol.
I guess he just wasn't listening to really be able to 'know'.

I have taken great pains in planning a beautiful native scape to get his toes wet.
Was planning maybe a smallmouth bass in a river scene (not 5 galllons, lol) and a nice school of bream and flag fin shiners.
I did manage to get him to promise me a huge tank when we build the new kitchen and diningroom, but he's flaky and may try to bow out of it. lol

My question is, how have you converted your spouse into letting you have you numerous tanks?
I mean numerous, I need one in or more in every room of my house. LOL
I think once we get the large tank set up he'll fall n love, but, ya'lls ideas might help it happen faster lol.
I could always MAKE him let me but- that doesnt seem fair. hehe

Ideas?

 

[Tolak]

I'm guessing being a guy, he has some sort of tool room or shop area setup, I can't think of too many regular guys who don't. If he has a tool room, shouldn't you have a fish room? A fishroom is no more clutter than a tool room, often a tool room is more cluttered.

Being a guy, I have both.

 

[Colin_T]

tell him you want one tank for every dog he has
A fishroom (as mentioned above) is a great idea because you can build it specifically and have it insulated and set up properly. That keeps the power bills down. Alternatively you build a triple teer stand and have 2 tanks on each level. You get 6 tanks on a nice stand.
If they all fail and hubby still won't give you the fish, tell him your going home to mother. A couple of weeks without any sex and he'll let you have fish

 

[crimsontsavo]

LOL!!!
I can't use the mum line cause she lives in florida and were in Tennessee, hehe.
But a fish room, I may be able to get him to go for that because he is supposed to build me a studio, who says it can't be a studio/sewing/fish room!

And he has a huge shed he built, unfortunately my stuff is taking up like half of it but hey, thats the baby stuff too, so that doesnt really count as just mine, hehe.


Thanks guys!

 

[shroob]

Try showing him a picture of a truely huge tank, then don't stop going on about how much you liked it for a week or two. Then, go, 'well because I care about your feelings, I'm willing to make sacrifices' then show him a smaller tank (but still pretty big ). Worked for me when I wanted a 5ft tank, never got it but I now have 2 90 gallons.

 

[BigC]

My question is, how have you converted your spouse into letting you have you numerous tanks?
I mean numerous, I need one in or more in every room of my house. LOL
I think once we get the large tank set up he'll fall n love, but, ya'lls ideas might help it happen faster lol.
I could always MAKE him let me but- that doesnt seem fair. hehe

Ideas?

I have a problem with the wife. She just doesn't subscribe to me having lots of tanks (inside the house). So the easiest way was for me to throw balls in the air so to speak. Tell her my problems and let her devise solutions, then taking the rough blueprint of her advice, adopt and enlarge it to suit my needs. Sometimes it comes down to childish trade-offs and compromises, but the final outcome is the same. I WIN.
Regards
BigC

P.S.
I used to have 100 tanks of various sizes at one stage in my hobby, she suggested a purpose built shed..... Voila!

 

[crimsontsavo]

100 tanks, god I miss that, waaa.
Imma wait til were over this yuccky virus to start harping for a larger tank hehe.
Thank you so much guys!

 

[Madam Macaw]

For me personally, the fish have been a life-saver. I recently sent my oldest son (almost 18) to live with his dad. It was turmoil here in the house with him here, but the decision still left me heartbroken. Having and taking care of the fish with my other two kids has created a home with laughter and calm. No matter how stressed or tired I am from work, sitting and watching them puts me at a sense of peace.

Now, back to your question: My husband and I also have three large macaws. He loves these girls and our two dogs but didn't really get fish as pets. He understood how much they have helped me over the past few weeks though, and is grateful for that. For the past few evenings, I have asked him to come in for specific reasons - looking at a funny thing one of the mollys was doing, or the pleco, or my hilarious corys. I think doing this and involving him will help. He might never have your passion for them, but such is life. At least he will see how happy you are and that alone should make him see the need for them.

Good luck

 

[dzsigmond217]

If it were I, i'd harp on getting at least a 55 gallon. Don't start him small 'cause if he still can't see how cool a fish tank is (after you have it all set up) he might not be that willing to upgrade. Once you have the 55 gallon ..you have it.

Or tell him his dogs are going to 'mysteriously' start disappearing..

TOTALLY KIDDING!
Us women know how to get what we want..work it!

 

[doresy]

hi, i guess things are real different over there......hunting dogs, swamps, guns etc. (just like the movies!)

Anyways, back to topic. Being a bloke I hate to give the ladies any tips on how to get one over on us but as it is the the great fish keeping hobby at stake I'll pass on this little tip.

Your guy obviously has a lot of 'blokes stuff' that he likes to do and probably considers it 'out of bounds' for you? Well, you just have to get real interested in that subject....you know, asking questions and stuff, maybe suggest starting a club for the girls! While being very annoying you then slip in the odd need for larger or multiple tanks but that of course whould limit the time you could spend with him (which he could do without anyway).....Get the picture?

My tip for the guys who need to win over the wife to upgrade their tanks has always been (it worked for me)....

Start to go down the pub a lot and come home with stories of your new mates who would like to take you to play golf maybe, or go to France snowboarding or skiing off their boat or anything that could get very expensive (both in your time away as well as cash) if you took it up. Then say that maybe you should give up your fish keeping and pursue something like your new mates had suggested. Then have a few aquariums printed from the net hanging around and before you know it she will come alongside.......worked like a dream for me lol!

She also knows nothing about this forum.....(she thinks I look at porn in the late hours!)

 

[hollyp0p]

She also knows nothing about this forum.....(she thinks I look at porn in the late hours!)

lol my other half knows i spend way too much time on here
I've thought about maybe getting him his own tank to warm him up to the idea of more fish....that way you get more fish and when he can't be bothered to do things like cleaning and maitainance you get that part, so it's kinda like having your own tank!

 

[tetraqueen]

Do you walk the dogs?.... stop
Limit his treats.... he can be independent so can you.

Make him feel your not going to be your old self till he budges

If he dont give in leave.

Otherwise clutter and see if he ever notices.

 

[Tolak]

Doresy, that is some of the best info I have ever seen for how to get your better half to agree to some more tanks. If there is ever a poll for TFF MTS enabler, you have my vote.

 

[doresy]

Doresy, that is some of the best info I have ever seen for how to get your better half to agree to some more tanks. If there is ever a poll for TFF MTS enabler, you have my vote.

Hey, us Brits are quite cunning ........or is it just me