It's Driving Me Crazy!

Phaedra

Fishaholic
Joined
Mar 20, 2007
Messages
570
Reaction score
0
I just have to share my frustration with everyone. I discovered shortly after I got Darby that my sister has a betta of her own! I never even knew, so I went over to her house and found him in the kitchen, in a small vase (maybe 1g), with a bit of rocks and a plant for company.
I examined him closely, it looks like he might have a bit of fin rot, and she said "I've had him forever and never changed the water". Horrified, I explained to her all the problems with that statement, and she has since changed the water.... for the first time.
Long story short, I went over there yesterday and straight away I knew that he MUST have fin rot. His tail is far too short. I explained to her what I thought, and she said "no, he's just a crowntail, their fins are supposed to look like that." :shout: On top of that, she feeds him "maybe once or twice a week", and then just shakes betta bites into the bowl where they fall pell mell, and he grabs a few. His belly is huge compared to Darby, so he's either got the beginnings of Dropsey, is constipated (not that I'd blame him-- I'd hold it too if my tank was already filthy), or is overfed.
It's a little hard to see him properly thanks to the jar that he's in. It sort of distorts everything in the tank.

While I definitely don't have room or money for ANOTHER tank, and the only thing I have on hand at the moment is a 1g quarantine tank, I told her that if she ever wanted I would be happy to take him off her hands.
I'm almost positive that he's going to die soon. When I first took a look at him, he was laying on his side at the bottom of the tank, and I was sure he had already passed on. I just don't know what to do! Even if I did have a proper setup for a new Betta, I'm not sure I could properly treat a sick fish, not to mention it would be like pulling teeth to get my sister to give him to me, I expect.
I dreamed about him last night, that he was swimming alone in a huge tank and his tail was almost 2 feet long. It just made me so mad and frustrated that I had to rant a little. I wish I had a better tank setup to rescue him, or that I had a house instead of an apartment so I had more room!! :sad:
 
maybe you should go over there and just walk out with him, no matter what size tank you have him in he'll have a better life, poor guy
 
I wish I could. I just don't know if I could afford another tank, not to mention my fiance would probably kill me if I got another fish. :rolleyes:
God, it's tempting though. I don't know if she'd ever even notice...
 
the ignorance of some people, i hate it, always feel guilty about turning a blind eye and leaving them though, he'd probably be happier in a tiny cup as long as it was clean, you could always get her on here and show her how they should be treated :good:
 
Sadly she doesn't have a computer. And on top of that, she really isn't incredibly interested. She's kept fish for years and she admitted to me that when she first started keeping them, she was the same way as I am (water changes, checking levels, cleaning etc.) but I think she sort of has this "they'll be okay" attitude now.
I've got to get to work, but I'll think about it over the day. Maybe she'll give him to me as a wedding present. :lol:
The real question is though, can I give him a happy existence and take care of him, or is it already a lost cause?

Guilty is the best way to describe it too, I hate leaving her house every time knowing that he's there. He doesn't even have a name! :unsure:
 
theres always a chance he'll live happily in the right conditions, but even if he didn't at least then you'd know you tried. it would help if we actually knew what was wrong with him
 
Phaedra, if she could care less about him, and she knows how much you LOVE your fish, I'm sure she would be willing to let him go home with you. I think your heart is in the right place - and you could probably make a better life for him. Even a 1 gallon bowl is better than what he's in... and the fact that you would keep it clean and take better care of him will make whatever life he has left - much better. You may not even have to treat him with meds - sometimes just keeping the water clean is all they need. If the fin-rot is severe - then there's some pretty good antiobiotics you can get from LFS's or petstores... like Maracyn and/or Maracyn II or Maracyn Plus.

I know how you feel. Before I even got into fish/bettas - my brother had a betta for 2 years... and the poor thing lived in horrid conditions. He changed his water EIGHT times in 2 years. When I saw him - his water was green and murky. He said that's how they liked to live. I didn't know any better otherwise I would've said something.... I just gave him a look like, :blink:

It's also surprising talking to some people at aquarium shops that admit they don't take very good care of their own fishes and aquariums... it just doesn't make sense that people don't have any empathy for them...

Good luck with whatever you decide to do... don't get down on yourself if your sister won't give him up to you, or if you feel you can't make room for him... we all have our limitations! Every time I go to a fish store, I want to rescue them all!!! But I can't... and it would be a fruitless quest... as there would be more to fill their places.
 
theres always a chance he'll live happily in the right conditions, but even if he didn't at least then you'd know you tried. it would help if we actually knew what was wrong with him

Yeah, it would help if I could get a good look at him. The bowl is round and sort of "swirled" with blue glass, so not only does it distort, but it obstructs easy viewing. :S

Phaedra, if she could care less about him, and she knows how much you LOVE your fish, I'm sure she would be willing to let him go home with you. I think your heart is in the right place - and you could probably make a better life for him. Even a 1 gallon bowl is better than what he's in... and the fact that you would keep it clean and take better care of him will make whatever life he has left - much better. You may not even have to treat him with meds - sometimes just keeping the water clean is all they need. If the fin-rot is severe - then there's some pretty good antiobiotics you can get from LFS's or petstores... like Maracyn and/or Maracyn II or Maracyn Plus.

I know how you feel. Before I even got into fish/bettas - my brother had a betta for 2 years... and the poor thing lived in horrid conditions. He changed his water EIGHT times in 2 years. When I saw him - his water was green and murky. He said that's how they liked to live. I didn't know any better otherwise I would've said something.... I just gave him a look like, :blink:

It's also surprising talking to some people at aquarium shops that admit they don't take very good care of their own fishes and aquariums... it just doesn't make sense that people don't have any empathy for them...

Good luck with whatever you decide to do... don't get down on yourself if your sister won't give him up to you, or if you feel you can't make room for him... we all have our limitations! Every time I go to a fish store, I want to rescue them all!!! But I can't... and it would be a fruitless quest... as there would be more to fill their places.

Thanks Maxsmom, your post made me feel a little better. I tried to talk my honey into taking in another betta, and I got the expected response of "Oh honey, not another fish! We don't have the room for him, and we'd have to buy another tank" etc., etc. :rolleyes:
I think for the time being, I'm just going to urge her to continue changing his water and maybe I'll let her borrow some of my meds. I just bought some primafix & melafix, so maybe she'll give it a shot. Since I work in a bookstore, maybe I'll buy her a betta book. The problem is she's so stubborn.
While my sister's betta bowl sounds like it was in better condition than your brother's, (the water is clear and algae free) it's nice to know someone shares the experience. It's so frustrating!

Edit: I forgot to add, have you seen your pixel betta yet? I've finished Max!

aw poor fish. I'm sure you can at least get her to listen to you.

I'll try!

Thanks for the support and advice everyone. I appreciate it. *hugs* all around!
 
my sister and niece have bettas too. i told them everything they should know about them, they're in one gallon vases (from what i understand) and they get fed (probably too often) but i guess they're doing okay.
 
If i were you, i would take him home at least for a while until he's at least better, then try to give him back and go over maybe once a week and if she's not doing a good job just take him permanently--explain to your fiance that he was going to die :(
 
You don't need another tank! There are plenty of people who keep their bettas in large tupperware containers!
Heck, even the 1gal H tank you have would be better than leaving him with a person that could care less if he died or not.

It sounds like he might have swim bladder if he's bloated and not swimming properly.

UGH it's just so freaking frustrating hearing these stories. They just don't care about the poor fish b/c they never see them as a 'real' pet.. just as a decoration that's easily replaced!
 
Phaedra! I didn't know you completed Max but I found where you keep your pixel bettas and found him! THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH! You got him perfectly!!!!! I'm really, really happy that you did this for me! Thank you so much! :flowers:
 
Phaedra a girl i work with has a betta in a vase. She has had him 2 years now. He was in her living room, now he is in the bathroom. he has living weed, but she doesnt clean him much. :angry:
she just used to give him flake but I gave her some pellets and he has them. I have never seen a photo of the vase and dont want to.. :good:
 

Most reactions

Back
Top