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Murphy's Law

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I have a 125 gal fresh water tank. The residents of this tank is a 12 year old Oscar, 2, 4 year old Jack Dempsey's, 2, 4 year old glow fish, 2, 2 year old large Angelfish, and 2, 4 year old large Pleco suckers...My question is about my JD's, one of them is very large and aggressive while the other is smaller and very timid... How can I tell what sex they are? Can anyone help please? I can't attach pics, they are to large for this site.
 
Howdy, send lIke you have a large and smaller male.

My pair spawned all the time
 

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