Blackwater guru
Fish Fanatic
I have not been very active on the forums in a quite a long while for several reasons which I will discuss now , I decided to make the first post in a long time because for some time now I have wanted to get back into the aquarium hobby also I am trying to manage living on my own which is on it's own a large challenge because of both high functioning autism and untreated but diagnosed ADHD which continues to make things very difficult.
Also while at an appointment with a psychologist I recently got diagnosed with moderate depression which is not at all surprising because a number of tragic things have caused immense trauma further impacting not only just my love of the aquarium hobby in general but also my main hobby which is malware analysis and my 6 month old baby rabbit suddenly passing away with no prior indication or warning in September last year is one of the main reasons my mental health is suffering also I was for many years the victim of severe emotional and verbal abuse from my ableist father that I cut ties with at the end of last year shortly after my rabbit died and in general there is a lot of trauma involved that and I am also overeating and gaining weight rapidly as a result of this.
What also impacted my love for keeping aquariums was losing several of my fish in my old tank before I moved away and it just kind of killed a lot of my motivation and enjoyment for the hobby in general as a result also one of the reasons was that my feelings for losing my fish were never remotely acknowledged which just made things worse.
Probably the main reason as to why I am thinking of buying a new aquarium is that when I moved away from home I left my old aquarium in the care of my abusive father as I cut ties permanently with him before I ever got the chance to move my old aquarium to my new home which absolutely sucks and so far I have been looking for things like used aquarium equipment second hand aquariums that are much larger than my previous 39 gallon(145 L) biotope species aquarium that hosted several south american freshwater species like my marbled hatchetfish cardinal tetras and corydoras duplicareus catfish.
As for my next project I was mainly thinking of keeping mostly cardinal tetras in their own biotope enviroment hopefully in a tank that is 50 gallons or even larger only this time I will finally be in complete control of every decision when it comes to the tank which was never really fully the case before I moved from home where I would be restricted from things like deciding what aquarium filter types I would choose and I would just have to go with whatever that stubborn annoying prick wanted to use basically hijacking my decisions and saying no or disagreeing was not even remotely an option as he was always an authoritarian jerk and control freak.
My goal with this project is to be able to eventually breed and document the growth stages of baby cardinal tetras from egg to adult in a separate tank that preferably replicates the natural conditions of the waters were they would hatch in the wild and of course I would also have to learn entirely new skills like the process of preparing the necessary food before they hatch so that I have a supply ready for when it happens which is especially important as cardinal tetra fry can starve rather easily and are otherwise very fragile so they can die very easily although I have done a lot of reading and research on the subject of breeding this species and the challenges that come with it so I am prepared none the less.
Also while at an appointment with a psychologist I recently got diagnosed with moderate depression which is not at all surprising because a number of tragic things have caused immense trauma further impacting not only just my love of the aquarium hobby in general but also my main hobby which is malware analysis and my 6 month old baby rabbit suddenly passing away with no prior indication or warning in September last year is one of the main reasons my mental health is suffering also I was for many years the victim of severe emotional and verbal abuse from my ableist father that I cut ties with at the end of last year shortly after my rabbit died and in general there is a lot of trauma involved that and I am also overeating and gaining weight rapidly as a result of this.
What also impacted my love for keeping aquariums was losing several of my fish in my old tank before I moved away and it just kind of killed a lot of my motivation and enjoyment for the hobby in general as a result also one of the reasons was that my feelings for losing my fish were never remotely acknowledged which just made things worse.
Probably the main reason as to why I am thinking of buying a new aquarium is that when I moved away from home I left my old aquarium in the care of my abusive father as I cut ties permanently with him before I ever got the chance to move my old aquarium to my new home which absolutely sucks and so far I have been looking for things like used aquarium equipment second hand aquariums that are much larger than my previous 39 gallon(145 L) biotope species aquarium that hosted several south american freshwater species like my marbled hatchetfish cardinal tetras and corydoras duplicareus catfish.
As for my next project I was mainly thinking of keeping mostly cardinal tetras in their own biotope enviroment hopefully in a tank that is 50 gallons or even larger only this time I will finally be in complete control of every decision when it comes to the tank which was never really fully the case before I moved from home where I would be restricted from things like deciding what aquarium filter types I would choose and I would just have to go with whatever that stubborn annoying prick wanted to use basically hijacking my decisions and saying no or disagreeing was not even remotely an option as he was always an authoritarian jerk and control freak.
My goal with this project is to be able to eventually breed and document the growth stages of baby cardinal tetras from egg to adult in a separate tank that preferably replicates the natural conditions of the waters were they would hatch in the wild and of course I would also have to learn entirely new skills like the process of preparing the necessary food before they hatch so that I have a supply ready for when it happens which is especially important as cardinal tetra fry can starve rather easily and are otherwise very fragile so they can die very easily although I have done a lot of reading and research on the subject of breeding this species and the challenges that come with it so I am prepared none the less.