Giant donios, congo tetras, various species of rainbowfish all make a good dither fish for NW cichlids. They school and give the fihs more sense of being in its natural soroundings. Though many fish we come across are tnak bred and raised, their natural instinct still kicks in. Also, with aggressive fish such as cichlids, it can give them somethign else to chase besides it "enemies".
I have a female JD and she is a wimp too, but I think mine was a neglected abused return to the store. So knowone knows for sure if she uis jsut scared to death of anyhting.
The information provided for the JD is really good, males tend to be mroe cleaner on the gills, and have streamers off of their anal and dorsal fins. Females tend to be blotchier around the gill plates or on the gills. Their finnage is more rounded.