Fishy Jokes

[timmystood]

What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSH!!!!

How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut it's nose off

What lives under the sea and carries a lot of people?
An Octobus

What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool?
Show me your mussels.

Why did the salmon cross the road?
Because it was tied to the chicken.

Why are fish smarter than mice?
Because they live in schools.

What do you give a seasick elephant?
Lots of room

- There's plenty more where they came from!

 

[Synirr]

Nice

 

[demonmagus]

What do you call a fish with no eye?
FSH!!!!

How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut it's nose off

What lives under the sea and carries a lot of people?
An Octobus

What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool?
Show me your mussels.

Why did the salmon cross the road?
Because it was tied to the chicken.

Why are fish smarter than mice?
Because they live in schools.

What do you give a seasick elephant?
Lots of room

- There's plenty more where they came from!

 

[CFC]

Two fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says "do you know how to drive this thing"

 

[Inchworm]

Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide!

What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
He got lockjaw!

Where do fish wash?
In a river basin!

What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I wanna hold you hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

 

[Durbkat]

I have a riddle

Fred and Jamie are found on the floor dead and there is glass and water all around them on the floor and there is a cat near by, what happened?

 

[Annastasia]

I have a riddle

Fred and Jamie are found on the floor dead and there is glass and water all around them on the floor and there is a cat near by, what happened?

The cat knocked the fish tank off the stand and it fell on them? I don't know, I've never been good at riddles!

Anyway, here's some more:

What do you get if you cross a whale with a computer?
A four ton know it all!

What fish is the most valuable?
A goldfish.

What sea animal can be adjusted to play music?
The tune-a fish!

 

[Durbkat]

I have a riddle

Fred and Jamie are found on the floor dead and there is glass and water all around them on the floor and there is a cat near by, what happened?

The cat knocked the fish tank off the stand and it fell on them? I don't know, I've never been good at riddles!

No Fred and Jamie are fish and the cat knocked the tank off the stand and they died.

Ok I have another riddle but its not fish related.

A man lives on the 13th floor of an apartment and takes the elevator down to the 1st floor every morning and when he comes back from work he takes the elevator up to the 6th floor and walks the rest of the way up. Why does he do this?

 

[Nauplii]

because the man is short and cant reach the 13th floor button on the way back!


I got one.

Why did the sand blush?
Because the sea-weed
lol


ok here's a riddle
A man road into a hotel on Friday
Stayed for 3 nights
And left on Friday

How is this possible?

 

[ccg]

Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank.

Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!



Why are fish easy to weigh?
They have their own scales.

What did the fish say when it ran into the concrete wall?
Dam!

 

[Inchworm]

Sorry about this, but I had to delete a few posts including a very funny joke. Please keep the jokes about fish so I don't have to close this good thread.

 

[ncjharris]

Blimey, some of you have been busy with the ol' cracker jokes!

 

[Inchworm]

Who are the strongest creatures in the ocean?
Mussels


What did the sea say to the beach?
Nothing. It just waved.


What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
A doctopus!

 

[grumpymole]

Two fish in a tank, one turns to the other and says "do you know how to drive this thing"

another variation of this is:
two fish in a tank one says "i'll drive you man the guns"

what about these:
Why did the trout cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.

What is the best fish on ice?
A skate.

Where do fish keep their money?
In the river bank

Where do fish wash?
In a river basin


What whizzes along a riverbed on three wheels?
A motor-Pike and a side-Carp.


last one i promise
(for now )

What happened to the fishing boat that sank in piranha fish infested waters?
It came back with a skeleton crew.

 

[Gazoo]

JEFF FOXWORTHY'S Top 10 Reasons you might be a Redneck Fisherman

10. You have more fish on your wall than pictures.

9. You're raising catfish in your bathtub.

8. Your wife has earrings that you use as fishing lures.

7. You've ever combed your hair with a fish scaler.

6. You video tape fishing shows.

5. You recieved a tube of crickets as a wedding present.

4. You keep bait in your refrigerater.

3. Your boat hasn't left your driveway in years.

2. You've used your fishing license as a form of I.D.

1. YOU HAVE YOUR PICTURE TAKEN WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FISH.