Fish Jokes.

[WILDER]

Q: Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
A: To the prawn broker!
Q: What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
A: The Codfather!

Q: How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
A: He prawned everything!

Q: Which fish can perform operations?
A: A Sturgeon!

Q: What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?
A: He got lockjaw!

Q: Where do fish wash?
A: In a river basin!

Q: Why did the whale cross the road?
A: To get to the other tide!

Q: Where do little fishes go every morning?
A: To plaice school!

Q: What fish goes up the river at 100mph?
A: A motor pike!

Q: What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?
A: As far away as possible

 

[kpintheshed]

i love the second one its funny

 

[*Fishkies*]

Q: Which fish can perform operations?
A: A Sturgeon!

That was my favorite one out of them all!!

 

[LisaLQ]

Two oscars in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Can you smell fish?".

Ok, that was crap...loved yours Wilder

 

[WILDER]

true not very good.
Not mine taken of the net I cheated.

 

[mommyof2bettas]

Not the best jokes but...

Q-What is the most valuable fish?
A-the goldfish

Q-Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
A- cuz they have their own scales!

Q-What fish can be adjusted to play music?
A- the tune-a-fish

Q-Why are manatees so wrinkled?
A-Have you ever tried to iron one?

Q-What lies at the bottom of the sea and shakes?
A-a nervous wreck!

Q-what do you get when you graduate from scuba diving school?
A-a deep-loma!

Q-What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much?
A-a beer-a-cuda

Loved the codfather one

 

[chilledtim]

Q: what did the fish say when he swam into a wall
A: Dam

Two fish are in a a tank.... one turns to the other and says "il man the cannon you drive"

 

[demonmagus]

Two oscars in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Can you smell fish?".

Ok, that was crap...loved yours Wilder

you know what, I actually don't get it

 

[Teri]

why don't haddock eaters go to heaven?
because they don't believe in cod.

(sorry sorry sorry.....)

 

[bikerman03]

Man walked into the fishmongers with a large salmon under his arm
Fishmonger : (looking confused) "Good morning Sir, how can I help you?"
Man : "Do you make fish cakes?"
FM: "Yes, as it happens, we do"
Man : "Excellent, cos it's his birthday"

 

[LisaLQ]

Two oscars in a tank. One turns to the other and says, "Can you smell fish?".

Ok, that was crap...loved yours Wilder

you know what, I actually don't get it

So you wont get my all time favourite joke then.

Two snowmen in a field. One turns to the other and says, "Can you smell carrots?"

 

[Squid]

Why couldn't the clownfish afford a house?

Because he didn't have anemone!

Boom boom urgh..!

 

[Miss Wiggle]

There are 2 prawns, one called Johnny and one called Christian. They're happy prawns, playing with their happy prawn friends. One day Johnny decides that he's bored, so he goes to see Cod.
"Cod, I'm bored," says Johnny. "Please turn me into a great big shark!"
So Cod waves his magic fin and turns Johnny into a shark.
Johnny swims off and has a few fun weeks scaring all his little friends. But eventually they work out that this particular shark isn't going to eat them, so they start ignoring him. Johnny gets angry and (disturbed prawn that he is) starts eating them. At last, there is only Christian left, and Johnny wants to play with him. He goes to Christian's rock and says,
"Christian, come out and play with me!"
"Nononono, you're a big shark, you're going to eat me!"
"No, I won't eat you, please come and play with me."
"Nononono, you're a great big shark, you're going to eat me!"
So Johnny swims off to see Cod.
"Cod, I'm bored! All my friends are dead, and Christian won't play with me. Please turn me back into a prawn again." Cod says "OK, I think you've learned your lesson," waves his magic fin and Johnny is a prawn again. He swims off to see Christian.
"Come out and play with me," he calls.
"Nonono, you're a shark, you're going to eat me!"
"No, it's OK! I've spoken to Cod, I'm a prawn again Christian!"

 

[Squid]

Moan....

Squid
(likes it secretly)

 

[Miss Wiggle]

come on, for me that's not bad! my sense of humour can get considerably worse than that