feeling like a bad fish daddy this morning….

[Magnum Man40 154]

with Mrs. illness, and working to take care of her, and building pasture outside right now, I just noticed my gold Denison barb is missing… it was a unique, and focal point, in my hillstream tank, no dead body noticed, and it was a larger fish, but I can’t remember the last time I saw it… the rest of the “shark pack” looks to be intact, and the aquarium looks fine… I can’t believe I didn’t notice it missing, since it was brightly colored, and a focal point in the tank… if I was missing a palmeri, I admit I may not know, as there is a dozen of them, but only one gold denision….makes me feel like a bad fish daddy…

 

[GaryE]

It happens. You have a lot on your plate with your wife's dialysis. I talk here about rare fish I've kept I no longer have, but most of those species were lost here when my wife had a series of life threatening illnesses during the covid period. We had a few years of changed priorities to get through.
For our fish, we offer unstable environments no matter what our level of motivation or experience is. We're animals who keep animals, and things happen to us. We do our best.

 

[TwoTankAmin34]

It is way more important to be a good husband than it is to be a good fish keeper. It is a lot easier to find a new fish than a new wife. So do what you have to and do not worry about the fish.

If you need to rehome some of your fish for a while why you tend to what matters the most, I have a few empty tanks and would be happy to baby sit some of your fish until you can take them back.

Those barbs like to jump as do SAEs. If they want to they can leap through the space between a hang on return and the lid. I am speaking from experience.

On another note. I got into my current poker game because one of the regulars was on dialysis awaiting a transplant. He got it and once they had him on the right cocktail of meds her returned to the game. I got lucky as well because the wife of another player, who also drove into the city to play, made him stop driving because of his age. I become a permanent player.

The gent with the new kidney lived another couple of years and what got him was not related to the kidney transplant but to something else totally unrelated. He was in his early 80s.

(edited only to fix a few typos)

 

[fishorama35 10]

I, too, would suspect a jumper.

As everyone else has said, you need to focus on your wife's health right now. Tanks & fish can mostly survive on minimal care, even feeding. Don't feel guilty, feel like you're helping your wife at a very difficult & scary time.

Not quite the slow retirement you both planned for but nobody's is often perfect. Ours hasn't been either, but we roll with the punches life throws us as we always have. You both can get through this sudden change of events!

I wish you & Mrs Magnum all the best, e-hugs

 

[bgarthe40 57]

You’ve received some real fine compassionate advice. Please let it sink in…..your wife, happiness, and life together far outweighs a single fish. Finding someone or even returning the fish to seller or giving to a friend would be ideal. You don’t need to worry about fishtanks….you need to focus on the Mrs. Hope all works out for you both and she gets better fast.