Why Are You All So Nice ?

[piper]

Go on then, I dare you to post a picture of your tank

I could post a pic of my tank, but the point I was making was are you lot being honest. But now I see many of you give other tanks the old just for effort.

 

[KathyM]

I just can't imagine what the purpose would be of posting something insulting about somebody else's tank, other than to make oneself feel big and clever by trying to make someone else feel small and silly.

i think you've got the motivation of some people who do openly criticise down to a "t" there.

Go on then, I dare you to post a picture of your tank

I could post a pic of my tank, but the point I was making was are you lot being honest. But now I see many of you give other tanks the old just for effort.

but what is wrong with that? unless you're the tank owner, it really doesn't matter if people are just being nice, does it? atualy even if you are the tank owner, it really doesn't matter what other people think (excluding overcrowiding etc), does it?

 

[mark.w.jones]

A lot of people in the world think that "to criticise" is always a negative thing. I kinda feel that to "criticise" is more about offering a value judgement or an interpretation of something. Looking at the positive as well as the negative. No tank is perfect (although Amano's are close!) so as long as tell someone about the good things as well as the things that they need to work on then you can't possibly have many complaints. Unless of course it is not what the person wants to hear.

Some people are also not naturally blessed with tact and the way that posts are worded can very easily leave someone feeling good or bad about what they've done, even if the main underlying points being put across are the same.

I tend to feel that being honest in a tactful way is the best policy in the long term.

 

[dc3]

Most tanks for people with MTS are a work in progress - at least that's the way it seems with mine and most of my friends... Do we all really have the $$$ to do up a tank the way we'd like at one time - of course not. If something is catastrophically amiss, then it would be a good idea to point it out - like inadquate filtration, overstocking, bad parameters.

A "good looking" tank isn't necessarily a "better" tank - my bare-bottom discus tank exists for a reason - because only a total idiot would attempt to raise juvies in a decorated gravel setup. Everyone has a different opinion on what looks good too

 

[Teelie]

you've never said anything like that about my tanks

That's because they're utter crap mate.

That must be why I never get responses when I post pics of my tanks.

 

[Night_Market]

One man's crap is another man's crapola...

 

[matt295]

how would you like it if you posted pics of your tank and then some person just says "it looks horrible, i hate it." that would make you feel bad right. i agree with everyone on this that if it looks really good then say good comments if you dont like it som uch then dont say anything. no one likes to be put down.

 

[iairj84]

I try to be honest with everything. At the same time I try to use tact when speaking about someone elses pride and joy... It's a different thing when someone says "How can this be improved?" or "I don't like it what should I do?" In those situations it is a little easier to pinpoint things that you don't like that might improve on the tank. If someone took the time to take pictures of their tank and wants people to comment on it then they should be willing to accept what people say.

The people here for the most part are awesome... Be honest people. If you don't like something then you probably don't need to post on it.

 

[kribensis12]

I think critizem( spelled completely wrong) is constructive, so I tell them what I think, but if I do it to harsh, the person feels really bad, I dont think I have ever made on bad comment on someone else's tank, ever.

 

[PoPoV]

you've never said anything like that about my tanks

That's because they're utter crap mate.

That must be why I never get responses when I post pics of my tanks.

LoL, you and me buddy

 

[Miss Wiggle]

you've never said anything like that about my tanks

That's because they're utter crap mate.

So miss wiggle, your tank is deffinatly unique. A plant flowering in your tank! Thats Fan blimming tastic! (i love being cheeky)

he he it is unique that's for sure!

A lot of people in the world think that "to criticise" is always a negative thing. I kinda feel that to "criticise" is more about offering a value judgement or an interpretation of something. Looking at the positive as well as the negative. No tank is perfect (although Amano's are close!) so as long as tell someone about the good things as well as the things that they need to work on then you can't possibly have many complaints. Unless of course it is not what the person wants to hear.

Some people are also not naturally blessed with tact and the way that posts are worded can very easily leave someone feeling good or bad about what they've done, even if the main underlying points being put across are the same.

I tend to feel that being honest in a tactful way is the best policy in the long term.

it's the difference between outright criticism and constructive criticism IMHO.

just saying 'that looks rubbish' isn't going to help anyone, saying 'i'm not keen on your ornaments, have you ever considered getting a more natural look to the tank' then giving some links to helpful sites is going to help them.

other thing i forgot to say

if i see an obvious problem that endagers the fish in some way i will always point it out, but again it's constructive it's not just 'your tank's overstocked' it's 'you do know that your arowana is going to eat your neon's pretty soon don't you? it would be best if yo found him/them a more suitable home, accompanied by a link to the fish species profile for arowana's.

 

[Azaezl]

I believe in not saying anything if you have nothing nice to say, a few times I've seen tanks which I think YUK! It's personal taste though, for example on the whole I like the natural look but that doesn't mean fancy ornaments are wrong, I even have a tank with fancy ornaments in, my daft attempt at a japanese theme. I don't like gravel but doesn't mean it's wrong or looks bad, alot of people's tanks look amazing with gravel. I think constructive critisism is by far the best thing, I don't think I've seen someone being delibertaely rude about someone's tank, just nicely told them if something is dangerousley wrong or given suggestions for improvement. Everytime I post my tanks on here I expect people to say oh I don't like this or that but everyone's always really nice which makes me think...hmmmm what do they really think as most of the time I look at my tanks and think no no no it's just not right! All of my tanks are works in progress, I don't think any of them will ever be perfect in my eyes!

 

[George Farmer]

When I look at some of the tank pictures in the members picture section I think 'that looks boring/rubish etc' but people always give very positive responces !!

Are you all being honest or just kind ?

Good point and question.

I often wonder if so many "that's beautiful!" comments are honest. I suspect if they are then they themselves have crap tanks. I guess it's a matter of taste. For instance I have been critisised by a TFF member in member's pics over the last photo in my sig. Fair enough.

From a personal perspective, if a tank/photo is crap then I tend not to comment. If I see potential then I might.

I won't lie and say something is nice when it clearly is not. This does the member no favours, gives them a false sense of acheivement.

Constructive crititsism is very important IMO.

Encouragement is also very important, but blindly saying, "great tank etc." I would say has little merit, other than to flatter the ego.

Finally, if you are honest and do criticise then it's important to back it up with "areas for improvement".

The "poo sandwich" is a good technique -

The bread is nice. "I like what you've done with the wood and rocks."
The poo is the "bad" bit. "But, I think your plants need more attention as they are covered in algae and appear to be suffering."
The bread. "Overall though the tank has lots of potential and the fish appear to be happy. Well done!"

Also known as the "bath tub" curve. \_/

 

[Miss Wiggle]

The "poo sandwich" is a good technique -

pmsl, i've never heard it called that before!

 

[geo7x]

Ok, so there are often silly threads moaning about how apparently mean we all are, and now people are moaning about how nice we are

Guess we cant keep everybody happy at once