Venting...

[ThePiggy]

I know this has nothing to do with bettas, but I needed to vent.

Why is it that when someone asks for help and they haven't provided enough information, people ask them questions.. maybe 5-10 questions... and that person answers one of those questions.. or gives some answer that wasn't what the question was asking?

These are very simple questions, i.e. "what and how often do you feed your fish?"

He answers, "i feed my fish cichlid flakes and blood worms..."

That's only half of what I asked. If this was the only time he did it, I wouldn't be so frustrated.. but he's doing it every time.

Can anyone tell me what makes people be this way? It's just hopeless..

 

[Tolak]

I think there are many contributing causes. Some has to do with the aquatics terminology we find common in an every day conversation, which is like a foreign language to someone new. Not wanting to seem like such a newbie, they skip the question or request. We were all newbies at the beginning.

I'm sure another facet is the reading/comprehension skills of the person responding. Everyone is proficient at one thing or another, nobody is good at everything. A good/bad personal example is my horrible handwriting. Someone with perfect penmanship might be a bit lacking in reading skills.

Another I find common, especially in the situation of an ill fish or failing equipment, is skimming over the posts, then answering. Being somewhat flustered with the situation at hand some things that might be considered important by another person are skipped by the person involved in the situation.

 

[ThePiggy]

Yeah... you're right. I was just getting frustrated and I didn't want to say something to him and cause a problem.

Deep breaths, right?

 

[ReMz]

It is frustrating... I quite often look at it as complete incompetence..... but you really have to see where they may be coming from as Tolak said.

This is why I bullet my questions to new people and keep it condensed.

ie:
-Bullet my questions
-keep is condensed

People miss the word and a lot

Given that.... don't get too flustered with people. It won't get you anywhere. I commonly point out on different forums how the newbies or people that are not as knowledgable get bashed for reasons that are quite petty. On a car forum, veteran members would rip apart newbies that asked a question that had been asked before and worded it very eloquently (as in "SEARCH YOU F**** IDIOT!!!!"). It is easy for people to not know anything about fish to make a horrible mistake.... although not all of us would have made that mistake, that isn't a reason for getting 'too' () upset.

Ramble over. Just making a general point about how when you see it over and over, it becomes frustrating. However, the other person may be oblivious.

 

[ThePiggy]

I did realize that he wasn't doing it to be abrasive to me. I just needed to have some release there and I didn't want to be insensitive towards him. So I did it out of the way.. It's unhealthy to keep things pent up, you know. A little venting now and again avoid an explosion.

 

[ReMz]

I did realize that he wasn't doing it to be abrasive to me. I just needed to have some release there and I didn't want to be insensitive towards him. So I did it out of the way.. It's unhealthy to keep things pent up, you know. A little venting now and again avoid an explosion.

lol. i got a pm from someone about a certain situation.....

i think i might know who you are referring to now. in the case that we both know who this individual is, i would be very un-inclined to help him from this point on.

it is a recurring thing....

 

[ThePiggy]

trollish?

 

[Tolak]

trollish?

Some people need to hear it a few times, a few different ways, from a few different people for it to sink in. One of the traits of a good teacher, or communicator in general is being able to present things a few different ways, or from different angles to aid in the interpretation of an idea.

There is also the case of asking the same question over & over again, until the answer they want to hear is given, even if it is the wrong answer. Over time you run into all sorts, often it takes a little feeling out to see what they are really looking for.

 

[ReMz]

trollish?

no... i truly just think some people lack common sense. I just don't have the patience to baby feed them after i have fed them multiple times..... if you catch my drift

trollish?

Some people need to hear it a few times, a few different ways, from a few different people for it to sink in. One of the traits of a good teacher, or communicator in general is being able to present things a few different ways, or from different angles to aid in the interpretation of an idea.

There is also the case of asking the same question over & over again, until the answer they want to hear is given, even if it is the wrong answer. Over time you run into all sorts, often it takes a little feeling out to see what they are really looking for.

couldn't disagree with anything said here. a person's character has a lot to do with this.

 

[newfishy]

a few times on this board I have actualy had to wonder if a persons first language was english or not.

 

[Syphoniera]

Actually, this is an international board, so a lot of people will be from different countries, with different languages, different cultures, etc.
Quite a lot of children/young people also come here for info.
There is also a major problem especially endemic in industrialized countries with minor brain dysfunction, due to pharma drugs, chemicals, and other toxins, not to mention stress and common nutritional deficiencies generally due to our factory farm/processed/GM food diets.
And some of us have sleep issues, which can produce astonishing examples of outright stupidity.
When you're dealing with the general public, you'll encounter people - and people are imperfect and also have good days and bad.

When you're dealing with people in an area where they have little or no information on a subject, everything typically has to be related to something else familiar, put into an understandable context, for real understanding.
As understanding accumulates, a 'snowball' effect kicks in, where new info on a then more familiar subject slots into place easily between known facts and makes immediate sense - and often applies as well to deepen understanding in related areas.
But in the meantime, as Tolak pointed out, sometimes things just need to be phrased in a particular way in order to be assimilated by the particular person addressed.
It may seem a difficult situation to deal with, when from your end, you're dealing with the same sort of questions/problems/issues from multiple people again, again, and again.
But from their viewpoint, it's their first time - be gentle with them.

I'm very impressed that you chose to vent elsewhere, not on some poor confused person who presumably wants to do the best for his/her fish and doesn't know where to start, when the baby steps required seem so obvious to you.
It's hard to be unfailingly helpful and good natured in the same, endlessly repeated sort of situations.
But that's the price you pay for being a good and kindly person who cares not only about people but helpless animals, whose potential or current suffering your advice may help relieve.
And the good you do here goes global.

(Edit - that sleep deprivation thing may lead to changing one part of a sentence and not reconstructing the rest...
And right now, I can spell backward and inside out...)

 

[LauraFrog]

Sy - 10/10. Top post... as usual. lol

The world is full of idiots. These are true stories:

These guys wanted to go fishing. They worked for Qantas (a major Australian airline). So what did they do? Nicked off with the life raft from an aircraft. On the weekend, they're drifting down the river... when the automatic distress signal on the life raft has three emergency helicopters following them. They were arrested and got jail time for the theft.

A woman rings up the poisons hotline in great distress, telling the operator she just caught her three year old daughter swallowing ants. The operator calms her down and convinces her that the ants will not harm the child and that they will be digested and come harmlessly out the other end. The relieved woman is about to hang up when she mentions to the officer that she gave her daughter some ant poison and told her to eat it to kill the ants.

A burglar tries to rob a liquor store, but the clerk refuses saying she does not believe he is over 21. After repeated refusals, the frustrated moron pulls out his drivers license to prove that he is indeed over 21. She hands over the grog - and immediately phones the police with his full details. Two hours later they arrest him.



Gotta say though, sometimes reading the riot act is exactly what is needed... like the time I convinced myself that because the LFS told me to, it was okay to put nine platys and a bristlenose - yeah, you read that right - in a four gallon tank. It took a bit of flaming before I realised what I had done. Fortunately all of the fish survived despite being crammed in that little bucket for about two months. (at least I had the sense to cycle it.)

 

[The-Wolf]

These are very simple questions, i.e. "what and how often do you feed your fish?"

that is a compound question, mayhap it would be better to ask two
what do you feed?
how often do you feed this?

maybe then they answer both parts of the question and not just the first part.

K.I.S (keep it simple)

 

[azulfire24]

a few times on this board I have actualy had to wonder if a persons first language was english or not.

hehe, somebody asked me that once,,, and no,, i do speak english,, my spelling is just that bad!!!!!!!!


lamo!!!!!!!!

 

[ThePiggy]

azulfire, I get the impression that a lot of the posts you type, you type in a rush and don't go back and re-read for errors.