Thxz...but

[pleder]

Friendly to me implies a sense of welcome and respect, that did not happen here.

I understand that anwsering the same question conitinously can be repeatitive and frustrating. I know that giving good advice and having it ignored is hard. Having a newbie tell you the information you are giving is wrong and they will do it there way is more then aggrevating. Watching continual failure of newbies is more than heartbreaking at times. These are constants that appear on all of the fish sites that I belong to or moderate for.

What do you hope to accomplish by taking these frustrations out on someone with one post. It is clear that a lack of understanding on proper care for marine animals exists here. However by insulting a persons intellegence is not going to make them listen to you. Reacting with sarcasism is not productive.It is going to make them angry and closed minded. It is going to drive that person away from the site and from your advice. You might not believe me, but the member who started this thread still only has one post. Why?

So what happens to this member now? They either leave and continue to kill a slew of fish, until they learn something, or hopefully join another site and get some good info. It would be better to react respectfully> Patience is not only part of the hobby when learning, or setting up a system, but also when trying to help others.

IME over the years I have found many hard headed newbies. Most of them I was able to help turn around over time, some I was not. The ones who I was continual patient with and respectfull to are more likely to stick around and learn. They will be more apt to feel comfortable asking other questions and ultimatley become better keepers. If I flamed them up front for asking questions this could not have happened.

IMO people will respect the advice you give them more if it is given with a good attitude. You will not be able to control the amount of newbies who buy there tanks, and corals, the same day, become a member and tell everyone they are succsessful, then a week later have no fish left. It is out of your control. Your attitude is in your control. I think you will find less frustration with new members not listening to your advice if you remember they are people, who often no little, but came to learn, and treat them the way that the one person treated you when you first stepped into this hobby.

The simple fact is that advice is offered, whether you take it or not is your perogative, however, if you turn round and snub the advice then don't expect a 'smiley friendly' reply to your next post.

That is a very simple fact, but much of the advice offered on these boards is biast or wrong, the same with what you will recieve at your LFS. Newbies don't know who to believe, and they won't stick around long enough to find out if there first introduction to a site is similiar to the one this member received. They walk into a LFS and the owner is happy to see them, they come here and are met with hostility. It just doesn't make for a friendly environment.

We all have our own pet peeves. Mine's when people flame newbies.

 

[Aquascaper]

They walk into a LFS and the owner is happy to see them, they come here and are met with hostility.

Something due to the fact that the LFS owner will earn money out of their visit and continual income from their errors

I can't say i've ever seen any hostility towards a new member, simple to the point advice maybe, a sharp retort to a persistent question from the same member, but never anything I would call hostility.

My pet peeve: People who join forums to ask questions they don't want to know the answers to

 

[Opcn]

That is a very simple fact, but much of the advice offered on these boards is biast or wrong, the same with what you will recieve at your LFS.

If advice is wrong then go ahead and correct it, welcome to the forum system , thats how it works.

 

[Chac]

Friendly to me implies a sense of welcome and respect, that did not happen here.

I understand that anwsering the same question conitinously can be repeatitive and frustrating. I know that giving good advice and having it ignored is hard. Having a newbie tell you the information you are giving is wrong and they will do it there way is more then aggrevating. Watching continual failure of newbies is more than heartbreaking at times. These are constants that appear on all of the fish sites that I belong to or moderate for.

What do you hope to accomplish by taking these frustrations out on someone with one post. It is clear that a lack of understanding on proper care for marine animals exists here. However by insulting a persons intellegence is not going to make them listen to you. Reacting with sarcasism is not productive.It is going to make them angry and closed minded. It is going to drive that person away from the site and from your advice. You might not believe me, but the member who started this thread still only has one post. Why?

So what happens to this member now? They either leave and continue to kill a slew of fish, until they learn something, or hopefully join another site and get some good info. It would be better to react respectfully> Patience is not only part of the hobby when learning, or setting up a system, but also when trying to help others.

IME over the years I have found many hard headed newbies. Most of them I was able to help turn around over time, some I was not. The ones who I was continual patient with and respectfull to are more likely to stick around and learn. They will be more apt to feel comfortable asking other questions and ultimatley become better keepers. If I flamed them up front for asking questions this could not have happened.

IMO people will respect the advice you give them more if it is given with a good attitude. You will not be able to control the amount of newbies who buy there tanks, and corals, the same day, become a member and tell everyone they are succsessful, then a week later have no fish left. It is out of your control. Your attitude is in your control. I think you will find less frustration with new members not listening to your advice if you remember they are people, who often no little, but came to learn, and treat them the way that the one person treated you when you first stepped into this hobby.

The simple fact is that advice is offered, whether you take it or not is your perogative, however, if you turn round and snub the advice then don't expect a 'smiley friendly' reply to your next post.

That is a very simple fact, but much of the advice offered on these boards is biast or wrong, the same with what you will recieve at your LFS. Newbies don't know who to believe, and they won't stick around long enough to find out if there first introduction to a site is similiar to the one this member received. They walk into a LFS and the owner is happy to see them, they come here and are met with hostility. It just doesn't make for a friendly environment.

We all have our own pet peeves. Mine's when people flame newbies.

There doesnt appear to be any incorrect or misleading information in any of the replies only people trying to help

All most LFS care about is $$$$$$$$$$$ yeah they will give th odd bit of good advice butthere is always money behind it, the information given here is free & honest

And again remeber we are speaking about animals lives, in this I could understand why people get annoyed with newbie's who do no reasearch but think they have the answers and are unwilling to take FREE HONEST advcie

If you think this is a hard going forum then you need to have a look around at some of the other BB's as I am a member of 5 - 6 others and this is one of the most friendly ones - Try posting a thread like this on UR or RC and see how long you last

 

[Opcn]

Good point about honesty, sometimes being honest makes it seem like you are being mean, especialy when someone is being stupid.

 

[Aquascaper]

Some people just don't like to think that their LFS, the people they trust with their wages, could possibly be giving them the wrong advice or would ever dream of pulling a fast one on them. And to insinuate that their friend of a friend who knows a bloke who has a marine tank that you met in a bar could be wrong is just outrageous

After all, we're just electronic typing.............they are 'real' people

Honesty is the key, no-one on this fourm has anything to gain by giving wrong information apart from the destruction of someones tank and their dreams. You'd have to be a pretty warped person to want to do that

 

[pleder]

I am a member of 5 - 6 others and this is one of the most friendly ones - Try posting a thread like this on UR or RC and see how long you last

I've racked up a few thousand posts on many different fish sites. I know what your speaking of. Does that make it right? How often do people complain about Reefcentral and how they are treated. Is that what you want to have here?

What's UR?

They walk into a LFS and the owner is happy to see them, they come here and are met with hostility.

Something due to the fact that the LFS owner will earn money out of their visit and continual income from their errors

I can't say i've ever seen any hostility towards a new member, simple to the point advice maybe, a sharp retort to a persistent question from the same member, but never anything I would call hostility.

My pet peeve: People who join forums to ask questions they don't want to know the answers to

No doubt the LFS owner is so happy to see them because he's looking at there wallet. The sentiment was implied. But service with a smile gets you more clout with a newbie then not so nice forum posts. Also newbies think that LFS owners know everything, why shouldn't they, they own the store?

There is a difference between honesty and sarcasism. Telling someone it might be better to buy a dead fish at the LFS to save money and the time and effort of killing the fish temselves, may be true, but is insulting. It's counter productive to everything else you are trying to do here.

IME here on these boards I have seen much hostility towards newbies. My original introduction to this site came from a newbie here who PM'd me on another asking for help with the false information members here were giving on a subject I know alot about.

I have seen industry experts come here and post once, be flamed, and never post again. This site alienates a large portion of new members. You don't have to believe me, look at the numbers for your site.

YOu have a little over 16,000 members, over 10,000 of these members have 5 or less posts. Over 8,000 of these members have 2 or less posts. Alot of this is typical to similiar boards, but disrespectful responses, and sarcasism are also typical. Just food for thought.

There is something happening making people not want to be a member of this community, after they experience it.

 

[Aquascaper]

Telling someone it might be better to buy a dead fish at the LFS to save money and the time and effort of killing the fish temselves, may be true, but is insulting. It's counter productive to everything else you are trying to do here.

I think you'll find if you read through the post in its original state the member had already decided before that post that they knew it all as they'd seen a Clownfish in a 2.5g tank, etc. and were not going to listen to anything else said. No additional reaseach had been done on the fish or care requirements but they still wanted information from members. The reply given was not meant to be sarcastic in any way, it was a piece of advice that highlighted the fact that no matter what they did, if they weren't going to learn about the fish or hobby then anything they buy was going to die anyway and it would save the fish a slow death and the member their money. Insulting - yes, just as the total ignorance to the advice of other members and the cheek to come back and ask for more is insulting.

 

[crazyelece]

I think the major problem of this thread (and I have seen it before on this forum) is the ability to edit a post whenever. The original post was edited the next day and is now gone. Anyone who originally saw that post and then the edited version saw a total disregard for any and all advise given and a total disregard for the members who spent their time trying to teach the poster.

I think the responses after the edit were directed at that post. Also to be blunt, I think the community is a better place without those that wish not to listen and learn. There is more than one correct way to go about any aspect of this hobby, but there are even more wrong ways to go about it.