The poor fishies....

[Jaded_Pulse]

Hi guys! I'm looking for suggestions on how to get my grandma to look after her fishies better. She has 5 black mores (1 big, 4 babies) in a tank that can't be more than 10 gals. She hardly ever does water changes (though I've finally convinced her to do more than her previous 2 per yr 100% changes). The filter's really not up to the job, it hardly gets a clean (except for when I do it & the water without her knowing lol), & it just doesn't create hardly any surface movement. One of the babies hangs around the top all the time & I think it's the healthiest - was there the other day & all the others were huddled together under the filter, 1 sitting on the gravel, the rest just vaguely drifting there....she's surprised they keep dying on her (usually 1 or 2 a month....dang they must b hardly to live even that long lol). And when 1 dies she replaces it with 2 because "another 1's bound to die soon too" (which it does, but I'm sure the extra bioload doesn't do much to help).

Argh I feel so sorry for the fishies, but I can't convince her to take some back or do more water changes or feed them less (3 x a day or whenever they beg, basically as much flake as they'll eat, which is a LOT). I've tried to tell her nicely, explain to her why they need different care/why they die, I've even tried to buy it off of her lol. Anyways, any suggestions, or maybe the situation is ok?? I don't think it is but maybe there's something I don't know......anyhoo yeh...thanx a million, michelle.

 

[fish are my life]

poor fishys i feel sorry 4 them

 

[dixaisy930]

Hmmm...what about fish-napping? Only partially kidding...sounds like you've taken all of the polite roads here. Or maybe tank sabotage? Have you just shared the info with her, or have you shown her books that back up what you say? What about testing her water and showing her just how unhealthy it is?

 

[Jaded_Pulse]

Lol, i thought about theft, too, but me thinks they probably wouldn't like the 5 hr drive home lol. I have shown her the books & the tests & the info but the standard response seems to be "oh no, I used to keep these for ages & they didn't need all that stuff. They're fine, they must just have bad breeding" or "it's all the chemicals they put in the water these days" (yes she now uses dechlorinator). I really don't know what else to do....then there's my bro's poor fighting fish which lives in a vase with no heating, filter (I know they can live without these though), or anything. He tops the water up when it evaporates enough for 1 cup of replacement water - & adds dechlorinator AFTER he puts the water in. There's no way you can tell him he's wrong....

Don't get me wrong - I love my grandma & bro to death but.....the poor fishies.....any other suggestions (besides fishnapping - my bro's 3hrs away too).....Thanx

 

[Dubby]

you could offer to do a water change once a month

 

[endparenthesis]

Tell her how many years healthy goldfish have survived (20+... up to 40, rarely).

But she sounds hell-bent on killing them... and may stay that way. Remaining "right" seems to be worth more to some people than oxygen. One of life's mysteries I guess.

 

[adcs]

My mum is the same - "I've kept fish for years and I never changed the water or cleaned the filter and they were fine". And I'm like "But, mum, the fish are living and breathing in their own poo and wee!".

I've finally managed to get her to do partial water changes every week and make sure that she doesn't over feed them / takes out uneaten food.

I still had a big fight with her when she decided to strip one of her tanks down and clean all the gravel that she uses with a base filter. I was like "Mum, that's your only source of filtration in the tank and you've just destroyed all the bacteria making the filter work!! What are you doing?!" And she's like "But it's filthy...".

It's heart breaking when I've just got her to actually listen to me and she's doing everything right then almost her entire tank develops dropsy. I feel like she thinks that she shouldn't have listened to me and that she should just do things the way she used to 'cos nothing ever went wrong 'back then' (like in the 70s!).

There are lots of people out there that just believe all these fish products and equipment are just another way of getting money out of folk.

 

[aloaring]

well when her birthday comes around, or christmas you could buy her a new filter then. Your Gran will be dissapointed but the fish will be happier. Or ask the LFS to stop selling her fish !! Poor little fishys !!

 

[Fiddlesticks]

We got our angel fish from my bf's father. As he started getting older and couldnt take care of them as well anymore, my bf took the fish, and just told his dad that he could come see them anytime he wanted. OF course they didnt live 5 hrs away from each other, but it is worth a try. Or offer to do monthly water changes for her. She should like that idea because it gives her an excuse to see more of her grandchild. You could make it like a special grandma/grandchild time.