Random Discussion

[Essjay]

It could have been worse - brother-in-law came on his own and left his wife at home to look after the cat. If she'd come as well........

I refuse to speak to the wife. When our younger son separated from his partner a few years ago, they lived in her house so he came to live with us for a few months while he bought his own house. The wife told me I should not have let him come here, I should have left him living on the streets . She would not have let either of her children back once they'd left home

 

[jaylach]

It could have been worse - brother-in-law came on his own and left his wife at home to look after the cat. If she'd come as well........

I refuse to speak to the wife. When our younger son separated from his partner a few years ago, they lived in her house so he came to live with us for a few months while he bought his own house. The wife told me I should not have let him come here, I should have left him living on the streets . She would not have let either of her children back once they'd left home

What you said made me think back in time. I left my ex in 1987 after she gave birth well over a year after I had a very successful vasectomy. My other kids have no clue that this child was not mine as I refused to cause any possible harm in their relationships. as it was the fault of my ex, not the child. While it is over and done it cost me a LOT of money in support but I felt the cost was worth more than letting it be known that her siblings weren't exactly what she thought. She was just an innocent child with no fault. Maybe I'm stupid but I just could not bring myself to cause her harm so I paid........... Hey, I'm still here and doing fine. I don't for a second regret what I did. While possibly stupid, for me, it was just the right thing to do.

DANG IT!!! Now my eyes are all wet...

 

[GaryE]

Aren't families great fun?

They are when they work. But so many extended families are like tanks with communities assembled by the pet shop boy who catches fish on Thursday and sells shoes on Friday. We had a red tailed shark and two tiger barbs in ours. Me, I'm an angel.

 

[WhistlingBadger]

My in-laws are fairly cool people...but I'm intensely glad they live on the other side of town.

OK, here's a random thing that came up a few posts ago: As a tea lover, I often hear the old saw about how you can't boil water for tea in the microwave; it makes the tea taste bad. No one has ever been able to explain why, not even a little bit; it's just bad, bad, bad. I've cooked water in a kettle, in a microwave, and over a campfire, and I'm convinced that boiling water is boiling water. But the opinion persists. It's weird.

 

[Essjay]

I've not tried making tea with water heated in a microwave as a kettle boils it a lot faster.

The same brother-in-law makes his tea in a strange way. He puts the kettle on, puts a tea bag in a mug, adds milk to the mug then goes away while the kettle boils. He returns anything up to 10 minutes later and pours no longer boiling water into the mug.
All the packs of tea and tea bags I've ever bought say that water which has just boiled should be used, and milk added after the tea has brewed.

 

[Oldspartan]

No offence to the tea drinkers --- I will stay with coffee. I drink my coffee black but sometimes add a dab of creme. Baileys of course.

 

[Oldspartan]

We do an extended family gathering pig roast every few years, too few for Linda and not few enough for me. Our two families have little in common on many levels and heated discussions always come about. Many years ago, I banned alcohol from the events. Both families have a couple of what I call beer courage speakers. The gatherings became somewhat smaller. That was an intended side effect.

 

[GaryE]

Back in the 50s, there was a legendary wedding reception - my parents'. On my Dad's side were some Newfoundland outport evangelical fanatics who decided to empty all the beer there onto the lawn of the reception hall. My Mom's side of the family intervened, with her horde of WW2 veteran infantry Uncles defending the beer cases. At the height of the tension, some guys from a local biker gang decided to crash the party, with classic bad timing. Both families took the bikers on. In the wild brawl, someone grabbed my grandfather from behind, and he spun and punched. That took care of the first cop in.
When the dust settled, my grandfather was released, most of the bikers were arrested and extended family relations between the two sides never got as warm again.

Funny though, it was remembered as a good time by all the participants I ever met.

 

[WhistlingBadger]

Back in the 50s, there was a legendary wedding reception - my parents'. On my Dad's side were some Newfoundland outport evangelical fanatics who decided to empty all the beer there onto the lawn of the reception hall. My Mom's side of the family intervened, with her horde of WW2 veteran infantry Uncles defending the beer cases. At the height of the tension, some guys from a local biker gang decided to crash the party, with classic bad timing. Both families took the bikers on. In the wild brawl, someone grabbed my grandfather from behind, and he spun and punched. That took care of the first cop in.
When the dust settled, my grandfather was released, most of the bikers were arrested and extended family relations between the two sides never got as warm again.

Funny though, it was remembered as a good time by all the participants I ever met.

Great story. Sounds like a Chevy Chase movie!

Sometimes I like to remind my more militant teetotaler Christian friends that Jesus did his first miracle to keep a party going.

 

[jaylach]

Just saw a line that I really liked. Can't say that I really agree but still.....

"A pessimist is just a well informed optimist."

 

[GaryE]

Great story. Sounds like a Chevy Chase movie!

Sometimes I like to remind my more militant teetotaler Christian friends that Jesus did his first miracle to keep a party going.

The old Newfoundland teetotaler wing of the family were from a tiny fishing village, just a few houses with no road in. Everything was by sea, and those communities had a way of becoming detached from the everyday run of things. When they left and went to the city, they didn't often find a comfortable place. These fellows were determined to turn a large city into a version of their "dry" outport, and cities tend not to conform.
There were a couple of streets that were all Newfie expats, where the accents reigned and much of the way of life continued in three story stacked up flats with a view of the river. It lasted a generation or two, with the good and the bad of a society like that, but I was glad to be a fly on the wall as a kid, watching the pageant.
When I listen to the music (mainly the jump blues side of things but you hear it in early recorded country too) and consider what I saw as a kid 20 years after WW2, people really were a mess from their experience. I don't think the Sixties even came close to the late 40s for substance abuse, and I don't think the 40s came close to that post WW1 period.
The wedding brawl does sound like a movie, but the movie probably got made long after everyone had brushed their wedding clothes off.

I'm not one for nostalgia about times, though like everyone, I miss people. But eras? They had lots of warts, and carried the seeds for what's happening in the world now. I'd like to be able to time travel to take a closer look at what seemed normal at other times with an experienced eye.

I visited a family member recently, and she had a hefty TV screen showing a channel that was all seventies sitcoms I'd forgotten about. They were terrible, although I'd liked them when I was 15. She told me it was all she ever watched. To each their own, I guess, but. They were on par with most of the tik-tok I see.

 

[anewbie]

Not to change topics but I am always at a lack of understanding why people say things like "everything is perfect but my fishes are dying; why are they dying" and expect a useful answer. I mean for crise sake something can't be perfect if things are not working out. Gee i had them at 55 degree isn't that perfect for blue rams or i had them in tds 5000 water isn't that perfect for cardinals or I saw some dirt in their tank so i used mr clean to make it perfect again. Sigh.

 

[GaryE]

Everything is perfect but something melted the glass in my tank?

 

[MaloK]

My mother came from a family that was raised in a house where you pump water manually and had to go to the backyard to do your things whatever weather involved.

Her brother inherited the whole thing the house and all the farm lands 100 milk cows...

Mom couldn't care less about it, She was already having a good career in medicine.

But that leads me to the "Family" part... As good parents they want time off children once in a while...

So since her brother had a farm... They (The parents) decided that it would be a good idea that I go spend the summer vacations at the farm to learn about country living.

I was 14 years old and lived the worst summer of my life... Not because of the 5 am wakening to go milk the cows, not because of the really hard job, because after that when you returned to the house... You where received with literally a Sunday morning brunch... These people where eating like monsters. So did I, and it was incredibly good... The women of the house where proud of their work and that was only the breakfast... After that you are going to work "in" the field until dinner. Those where light and delivered at you workplace. And eaten with a tool in one hand to make sure you don't fall asleep. And it was keeping up in the afternoon. Everything from butter to marinades was home made.

After each days after a good meal... Place was open for discussions and stories, jokes, music... And was no TV or radio there... Lots of fun for real... I couldn't believe I was happy to be there...

To get to the point... I never was able to understand the way or why they treated the animals like that... I was young at the time and probably amplified but, I found it rough... Even more with all the poor feral cats they had on the land... And it was a lot, when you stock hay it come with mice.

And I love Cats... So what you think happened... I domesticated a bunch in 2 weeks. And started trying to educate peoples who have a lot more experience than me keeping animals in general.

That having happy cats would be a great positive instead of dying and suffering worm filled flea ridden poor little shadows of what could be. And making them comprehend that the Farm life in not made for felines and such conditions bring parasites that they would have in much lower concentration in their real natural habitat.

Took me a couple summer times to do it. And confirmed that I have a head as hard as it comes in the family.

But I got them to take care of them correctly. Got the whole troop at least dewormed, and cleaned of fleas.

And showed them how to tame these beasts and befriend them. Until they understood how priceless they are... All my younger cousins where all in, and loved it. So it probably helped a lot.

Last time I've been there, Cats where in the house. I was like (Yeah!) but didn't show it...

The food and the cats caught me.

Sober and grave grows merry in time.

 

[Oldspartan]

The cats --

Here, where I live and likely universally in USA farm country, you may as well hang a sign saying Home for unwanted CATS.

In our years here we have had probably 250 cats, maybe more dropped off, usually kittens that Linda would sometimes need to feed goats' milk to with an eye dropper. It angered me to the point of wanting to, well I will not say here what I wanted to do with the transgressors. Linda, on the other hand, accepted the situation as part of country life and considered it a duty to care.

We had cats running loose in every building and in each building, Linda developed a space they would be comfortable in. They were fed twice a day just like every other critter and they were also socialized. The females were spayed, Linda made a deal with a local vet who specialized in cat care, pork, beef, chicken and eggs for the services. We always had surplus, so it was not a strain. Each cat received appropriate vaccinations annually as well as flea and later on tick control spring and summer. They seemed happy enough.

The drop offs are near nothing now days, probably do to the place looking more residence than homestead at this point. I am glad of that.