Ram

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What is the nitrate level in your tap water? If that is also 25 ppm, all the tank nitrate came in with the tap water rather than being made by the beneficial bacteria.
 
Hanging around by filter outlet sounds like ammonia or nitrite issues. 25ppm nitrate will kill your fish only very slowly, in the bad old days all the books suggested 40ppm was your aim and water changes were necessary at 80 or even more.
 
The pH is to high for these fish. They need acid tanks. The tank has to be well established and the parameters need to be stable.
 
What are the bio pads? Filter usually has filter floss and sometime ceramic rings; if the bio pads are filter floss it should not be replaced that often if at all.

If the temp was still 25 it is quite understandable that both rams died and a bit surprising it lasted that long. It sounds like the gourami became ill a few days after you purchased the rams and it is quite possible they had some sort of disease that spread to the gourami. As to what specific disease it is hard to guess.
the filter is a Juwel bio filter & the bio pads are just like a mechanical pre filter the go on the top layer of the filter stopping coarse dirt from going deeper into the filter. It says they should be changed weekly.
 
The pH is to high for these fish. They need acid tanks. The tank has to be well established and the parameters need to be stable.
How can I lower it then? All my other fish seem to be doing just fine - harlequins, danios, Molly’s, tetras, plecs & corys.

We are in a hard water area but have a water softener installed & so that is the water that is used, always has been. Parameters have always been pretty similar & lfs have said ph & levels are all fine for fish (but not plants due to the gh).
 
Hanging around by filter outlet sounds like ammonia or nitrite issues. 25ppm nitrate will kill your fish only very slowly, in the bad old days all the books suggested 40ppm was your aim and water changes were necessary at 80 or even more.
What can I do to lower the nitrate?
 
Aim to have 30-50% of the volume of your tank in live plants, that is a good starting point.
 
What can I do to lower the nitrate?
Depends. First test your tap. I know some people in England have high nitrate in their tap water; if so then don't worry about it. 25 isn't that bad; and I've kept rams for multiple years in water with similar nitrate. The ph is also ok; while rams do prefer soft acidic water and require softer water to breed they can survive long term in ph 7.5. Personally rams don't fit with your other fishes with regards to temperature requirement as well as special care so i would not worry about the specific optimal condition for rams and look for something that is more suitable. I would recommend opal Borelli apistogramma which are quite suitable for your tank and quite colourful. I would not get a female just a single male. You could get multiple male if you want. They are smaller than the rams but close to being as colourful and are far more hearty.

The filter pad only needs to be replaced when dirty to the point it is obstructing flow. The vendor will want you to replace it frequently after all you have to buy more from them. Also if it is loose polishing pad (as oppose to one that is 'packaged') you can rinse it a few times and reuse until it begins to fall apart.

To lower hardness and ph you would need to dilute your water with ro (reverse osmosis) water and i do not suggest you take that route at this point in your fish keeping experience.

Live plants would be appreciated by your fishes and some easy ones you can try include wenditti crypt, melon or flame sword, italia val, hornworth, anubia (be sure to not plant the rhizome in the substrate), java fern (again the rhizome needs to be above the substrate).

The plants i listed are relatively easy to grow and do not need a lot of special care; don't try to get them all just a couple - maybe look them up on the web to see how they look and pick a couple that appeal to yourself. Avoid difficult to grow plants (most plants with a deep red are more difficult to grow). I personally avoid stem plants even easy to grow ones simply because they require more 'babysitting'; and they can be more difficult for someone new to plants to find long term success.
 
But I was told I couldn’t keep live plants due to the low hardness
Do you know the gh kh? I presume your 'softner' uses carbon to filter out some minerals? The ph might be artifically raised to prevent lead pipes from oxidizing. If the kh and gh are very low you could lower it with a bit of peat but please don't go this route it isn't necessary and it will create other issues that you have to address.
 
Some good advice on various issues from members, it may help to summarize.

First, I think @kribensis12 had the answer in post #15. It is now known that cichlids are very sensitive to nitrate at or above 20ppm, and nitrates are now known to cause hole in the head.

Test your tap water for nitrate. If it is zero, then it is (or should be) easy to keep them low in the aquarium. If there are nitrates in the tap water, that is another issue but resolvable. When we know this information, we can offer advice on lowering the nitrates.

Temperature for this species (Mikrogeophagus ramirezi, in any of the varieties) must be above 80F/27C, and preferably in the 82-86F/28-30C range. I know it may seem only a few degrees, but temperature drives the fish's metabolism and this species needs it warm. Stress and weakening result otherwise, which only leads to other issues.

However, what other fish are in this tank? They may not be able to manage at these warm temperatures. Something to work out before you acquire more rams.

Plants will do well in soft or hard water. However, the softener mentioned is a possible issue. How does it soften? Many use common salt (sodium chloride) to replace tyhe calcium and magnesium salts, and this is even worse for soft water fish (and some plants too). What is the GH of the source water before it goes through the softener? You might be able to use it with less difficulty, but we need to know the numbers.

Leave the pH alone. The GH, KH and pH are closely related, and adjusting pH on its own is next to impossible, depending upon the GH and KH. The pH here is not really problematic, the GH is much more relevant, but we need to sort out the softener issue.

Take what the fish store staff say with the proverbial grain of salt. Many of them do not know much about fish. You might have the exception, but it doesn't sound like it. Adding any substance to deal with "x" disease is very risky for fish, and can cause them to worsen and die; it is not easy diagnosing disease, but we all have (or once had) the urge to add "something" for such problems, but that is often not the best way forward.
 
It surprises me that we continually get sick Acid loving fish living in Alkaline tanks. And the message is always the same, leave the pH alone. I really don't understand the logic behind this approach.
 
Did you use a dechlorinator when you did the water change? No one has asked that yet. So I figured start at the very very basics
 
Ok so tested the tap water & the nitrate is the same as the tank, 25ppm.

I’m not 100% sure how the water softener works, but from their website it says:

“The twin-cylinders inside a Harvey™ Water Softener are filled with millions of microscopic resin beads. Each bead has a negative charge, while calcium and magnesium carry positive charges in water. This means that, as the calcium and magnesium passes through the resin beads, they are attracted to one another.

All that all that exits the water softener is pure, softened water, while the minerals stay behind in the beads. Sodium taken from the Harvey™ block salt completes the exchange.”

The gh is very low - less than 3/53 according to my test strips and the kh is very high - 20/357. ph is 8. These figures are the same for the water in the tank & out of the tap.

Im not sure what this means for the tank, perhaps you could advise? I also lost a plea today as well so not sure if this is a water issue or I’m doing something wrong, or just coincidence?!

Lastly yes, I always use a dechlorinator with every water change, seachem prime normally.
 
Sodium taken from the Harvey™ block salt completes the exchange.”
That's a salt based water softener. It exchanges the hardness minerals for sodium. Unfortunately this is not good for fish, especially soft water fish which have not evolved to cope with sodium in the water. It's not good for humans either (we are supposed to limit our daily salt intake) so there should be a bypass tap somewhere for drinking water.

The sodium from the softener combined with the tap nitrate is not good for fish like rams. The best thing for them would be to use water from the bypass tap and mix it with RO water to get the hardness needed by rams. This would also reduce the amount of nitrate going in the tank.
 

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