How Are They Alive!?!

[sparklefuzz]

I've just got off the phone to my sister-in-law, who set up a tank about 6 weeks ago. She chose to ignore the small amount of info I gave her regarding cycling, tankmates and water changes... instead she set her 10 UKGallon tank up, left it overnight, then put in... wait for it... a clown loach, a betta, 2 bala sharks, a common plec, 2 corys and some black mollies... 3 I think, oh! and 8-10 neons. I think she started with 10, but now has 8. (!!!) I told her she was wayyyy overstocked and that the tankmates situation was going to cause problems, but she didn't listen. She said "they chase each other all the time and the betta hides behind the filter". *facepalm* She also opted to ignore my advice about water changes and the bacteria in the filter, gravel etc.. because, she just told me that since day one, she has been emptying the entire tank, weekly... putting the fish into a bucket, scrubbing the tank, washing the gravel, cleaning the whole filter... then putting it all back in again. Hubby said she probably uses washing up liquid too. LOL I doubt that, but I wouldn't put it past her.

... so here I am thinking, "OH MY GOD!" ....and yet, she has only lost 2 FISH in 6 weeks, and apparently she thinks they probably went down the sink! because they just 'disappeared'. How the heck can those fish still be alive?! She thinks I am some weirdo because all I seem to do is say "you can't do that!" (even though, evidently... she can!) and because I bought a betta and put it into its own tank, and opted not to get a clown loach because it would grow too big for our 40 gal tank. *sigh*

 

[wodesorel]

I mean, I know she's your sister, but call the RSPCA on her! Those fish are going to die horrid deaths!

 

[Underwurlde]

Could the fact that she is doing a 100%! Weekly! water change!!! be the answer??? Hence no ammonia, nitrite, nitrate - therefore no need for bacteria in any filter or indeed any filtration OR cycling needed whatsoever?

I dunno, I'm just a newbi at all this....

Andy

 

[jayjay]

Ammonia would of built up before a week. If she did 100% changes every 2 days then she wouldn't need to cycle the tank, but she'd need to get rid of the fish that grow to big.

 

[juicebox]

those poor fish! maybe you could show her some information and/or websites about cycling and the fish she has?

which two died?

 

[b.c.f.c]

the neons i think she said
thats terrible, i suggests to get all the info you can get off the internet or even better off here and if she has access to the internet tell her to join tff.

 

[Underwurlde]

Nah the way I read it was that they simply dissappeared... down the sink (I a praying to GOD right now that this woman does NOT have kids..).

Anyway, by-proxy advice would, I think be ignored because from her point of view there is no problem (apart from a personal one with sinks) and any advice would fall on deaf ears on the pretence of: if it ain't bust (in her mind) don't fix it!

Andy

 

[sparklefuzz]

I mean, I know she's your sister, but call the RSPCA on her! Those fish are going to die horrid deaths!

Sister-in-law... if it was my sister, I would tell her in a heartbeat, but you know, it can be awkward and she'll think I am being a know-it-all.. I have been telling her anyway, in a friendly advice sort of way, but she does have this "but they're ok" attitude, and without flipping on her, I don't know what else I can do.

those poor fish! maybe you could show her some information and/or websites about cycling and the fish she has?

which two died?

It was the neons yes, I am going to tell her to come here, in the hope that she learns something. She'll probably just go mental that I posted this!! LOL

Nah the way I read it was that they simply dissappeared... down the sink (I a praying to GOD right now that this woman does NOT have kids..).

Anyway, by-proxy advice would, I think be ignored because from her point of view there is no problem (apart from a personal one with sinks) and any advice would fall on deaf ears on the pretence of: if it ain't bust (in her mind) don't fix it!

Andy

No kids. LOL. And yes, advice goes unheard.

I was just very confused as to how they were still alive. She actually mentioned needing a bigger tank, but I think it was more to do with wanting more fish, than her current one being overcrowded. Anyways, she is visiting on monday so I'll do my best to make her see sense... although I really think the "if it ain't bust, don't fix it" angle is her exact thinking. *sigh*.

 

[diademhill]

When I need to demonstrate to kids that fish will get too big for their tank I get them to make life size cut outs of the fish.
Could you make some before her visit & have them laying around - for a project perhaps?

 

[sparklefuzz]

It got worse. 3 days ago, she rang me to say she'd bought a female betta as company for her male. I almost screamed at her down the phone.. but she was like "the guy at the pet shop said they'd be ok". I told her that chances are one of them would kill the other... did she listen? Course not!

Tonight she rang to say she's added some guppies and a couple of glass cats, and a shrimp, she spoke to my hubby, I told him I didn't want to know about it.... NOW she has rang hubby, who is out... to ask what she should do because her male betta has had his tail ripped off. He told her to take him out for a start, and she's like "I've got nothing to put him in" ARGH!! a damned mixing bowl would do rather than that tank for the time being. Hubby asked me to ring her, but I know if I do I'll lose my temper, I am so angry right now. I can see we're going to fall out.

 

[insanityseeker]

eeeeep!

 

[sparklefuzz]

update, the male is dead. It is probably a blessing that he isn't being tortured anymore. I have just given her a huge lecture on the phone and PLEADED with her to stop buying fish, and she is like "well, the tank looks quite full now anyway"

*sigh*

 

[donna123]

omg ,
that sounds so much like my uncle, he got a 15 gallon off my other uncle, instead of setting it up right away with a few fish, because it would of been cycled already, he let it stand for a week then added, 6 platy,3 angel, 2 penguin tetras, 1 male molly, and a male betta, i went round 3 weeks later ( my other uncle told him what not to do ) and i asked if he had done a water change, he said "well thats what the filters for so i dont need to". , the male betta lasted a week.

 

[sparklefuzz]

omg ,
that sounds so much like my uncle, he got a 15 gallon off my other uncle, instead of setting it up right away with a few fish, because it would of been cycled already, he let it stand for a week then added, 6 platy,3 angel, 2 penguin tetras, 1 male molly, and a male betta, i went round 3 weeks later ( my other uncle told him what not to do ) and i asked if he had done a water change, he said "well thats what the filters for so i dont need to". , the male betta lasted a week.

It's so sad. It is very hard to tell someone aswell, it is like hubby says, "who is she going to listen to? you or the lfs?!" He has a point... unfortunately.