Thank you for the in-depth reply. My tank is set at 81F. I knew the rams liked it a little warmer and all the fish were introduced at this temperature. Do you suggest removing the rams then? I got these rams because they’re about the only peaceful Cichlid with my other species but knew they could have issues with each other. I was also hoping it wouldn’t turn out to be 3 males. Will stores take the fish back?
With respect to the three rams and their chances of getting along, it is clear from your first post that one of them is not going to last long so it should be removed. As for the remaining two, as I said, this is a gamble and no one can foretell the future, but if one of them is picking on the third one now it is most likely to turn against the other when the third is no longer an issue, assuming all three are male. So, to be safe and not risk the fish, I would suggest returning the picked on ram and one of the others (the one showing aggression might be a trouble maker down the road too so maybe this one?). Leaving you one male ram.
Temp is OK for the rams, but your neon tetras should not be kept in this warm water. So if you keep the ram, either remove the neons or the ram to a second tank if possible? Or return the rams and lower the temperature to around 76F. I don't know what else you have that might need a warmer temperature, but this reduced temp of 75-77F is fine for the neons, glowlights and otos I see in the photos.
That I think answers your questions (as for stores, some will, some won't). I will just comment on how to select a pair of rams to avoid what is occurring here.
Rams (this applies to both the common blue and the Bolivian) must select their mates and bond. Any female and any male put together may not last long before the female (usually) is dead. Only if the fish accept each other and bond will they be likely to get along for their normal lifespan which is 4-5 years. You select a bonded or likely-to-bond pair by observing the group of rams in the store tank. You can buy a dozen or so and do this at home, but then you will have 10 rams to get rid of unless you have multiple tanks, so it is best observed in the store. Colours, fins, etc are never reliable gender indicators, only behaviour; if the pair are spawning then colour will be very obvious, but not usually in crowded store tanks.
Males will be seen to continually "challenge" each other by charging (with or often without actual physical touching), or more aggressively head bunting, shoving, biting. The males will do this continually if there is more than one of them. The females will not, but will tend to be browsing the substrate looking for food and rather ignoring the male activities. If a male has one of the females near to him during all this, and he basically ignores her and she ignores him, they are more likely to accept each other, and may already have done if you see the male defending her at all. There is never a guarantee, but this is more likely to lead to success.
Only one pair should be in a given tank unless it is very spacious. And this is not always the best aquarium, because with the necessary higher temperature for the rams there are few other species that can be included, which can make for a less interesting aquarium depending upon how one sees things.
