Jezah
Fish Crazy
- The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?
- Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
- Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach. The lady lobster suggested to the gentleman lobster to get them each an ice cream. Having purchased two ice cream cones, Mr. Lobster made his way back to the beach, deciding on the way to eat his ice cream. By the time he had finished the ice cream he realized that his lady friend's ice cream had started to melt all down his claw, so he licked it up and ended up eating it.
When he arrived back at the beach his lady lobster friend exclaimed "Where are the ice creams?"
"Well," he said. "I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate that too."
His lady friend was incensed and cried "You shellfish creep!!"
- Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one fish turns to the other fish and says, "DAM!"
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A "fsh"
- Sardines naturally grow in tins. The way the lid cuts you is part of their natural defense mechanism.
- What did the fish say when he was caught in seaweed? kelp! kelp!
- (not really fish...but funny)What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
- Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!
- Two trout are dining in a restaurant when one of them starts waving
his empty glass in the air. The head waiter turns to another waiter
and says, "I think there's a fish out of water."
- Do you know why the oyster did not want to give up his pearl?
He was a little shellfish.
- Traffic was backed up almost to a standstill this morning as
I drove to work. I turned on the radio to listen to my favorite
rock station but they were playing Rock-a-billy which I absolutely
detest. So I decided to ram the dial for something better and
happened to tune in a local talk show host who was ranting about
government waste of funds on useless research projects. He was
objecting to congress funding a project to a team in Gettysburg,
PA, that was feeding clams and other mollusks large doses of
Prozac to determine its effect on these sea dwellers. He cited
this as an example of government waste. I immediately phoned him
on my cellular phone and found myself on the air. The host was
very unhappy when I told him that this research was very important
as it was essential to determine if ... Prozac was effective as a
mussel relaxant.
- Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend
off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark
they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it
in the nose as hard as possible.
If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump.
- A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She
noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow,
she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get
away. So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like
all the other crabs, and got upset.
"What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before
we were married."
"Oh, honey," he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."
What can be so tasty on the bottom of the pond?
- Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?
- Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach. The lady lobster suggested to the gentleman lobster to get them each an ice cream. Having purchased two ice cream cones, Mr. Lobster made his way back to the beach, deciding on the way to eat his ice cream. By the time he had finished the ice cream he realized that his lady friend's ice cream had started to melt all down his claw, so he licked it up and ended up eating it.
When he arrived back at the beach his lady lobster friend exclaimed "Where are the ice creams?"
"Well," he said. "I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate that too."
His lady friend was incensed and cried "You shellfish creep!!"
- Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one fish turns to the other fish and says, "DAM!"
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? A "fsh"
- Sardines naturally grow in tins. The way the lid cuts you is part of their natural defense mechanism.
- What did the fish say when he was caught in seaweed? kelp! kelp!
- (not really fish...but funny)What sits at the bottom of the sea and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
- Which fish can perform operations?
A Sturgeon!
- Two trout are dining in a restaurant when one of them starts waving
his empty glass in the air. The head waiter turns to another waiter
and says, "I think there's a fish out of water."
- Do you know why the oyster did not want to give up his pearl?
He was a little shellfish.
- Traffic was backed up almost to a standstill this morning as
I drove to work. I turned on the radio to listen to my favorite
rock station but they were playing Rock-a-billy which I absolutely
detest. So I decided to ram the dial for something better and
happened to tune in a local talk show host who was ranting about
government waste of funds on useless research projects. He was
objecting to congress funding a project to a team in Gettysburg,
PA, that was feeding clams and other mollusks large doses of
Prozac to determine its effect on these sea dwellers. He cited
this as an example of government waste. I immediately phoned him
on my cellular phone and found myself on the air. The host was
very unhappy when I told him that this research was very important
as it was essential to determine if ... Prozac was effective as a
mussel relaxant.
- Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend
off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark
they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it
in the nose as hard as possible.
If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump.
- A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She
noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow,
she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get
away. So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like
all the other crabs, and got upset.
"What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before
we were married."
"Oh, honey," he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."
