Fighting Bolivian Rams

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TOuchmaster Odd

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Hello everyone
I am a new fishkeeper who in the last two months has slowly setup a heavily planted and decorated (bogwood) 48x12x18 community tank with 6 glowlight tetras, 10 copper harlequins (Trigonostigma hengeli), 6 bronze corydoras, 6 otocinclus vittatus, 3 Amano shrimp and 4 ADFs (and a fair few snails). Interested in getting something bigger with a bit of character, i settled on a couple of bolivian rams. I have to say they are great fish - their colour has improved dramatically since they settled in, anhd they are very beautiful in an understated way. The thing is, I was looking for a pair, so I chose one that had a very extensive bright orange patch, long tail filaments and tall dorsal rays, and one that had less colouring, no tail filaments and shorter rays, hoping that I may have got a male and female. for the first few days they spent all the time swimming around together and while the brighter coloured one occasionally seemed to chase the other one on the whole they were getting on great and i felt i might have been right in my amateur sexing.
However a couple of days ago, i came in and fed them, and saw a dramatic change - the one that i thought was female was charging at the 'male' whenever it crossed a certain line in the tank and frantic lip wrestling would ensue. the 'male' looked quite submissive. now today, the roles seem reversed, with the 'male' making frequent forays into the others territory and attacking it in its own previously heavily defended area, with the 'female' now seeming submissive. this behaviour has made me think that i have two males. I am a little confused at how the balance of power has constantly changed.
My main point is, what are other bolivian ram owners experience of this behaviour, have i definitely got two males, and is this harmful for them in the long term. to be honest i find the behaviour very interesting to watch, but if it is causing the fish harm in the long run, i will remove one of them... i am thinking of swapping one for a female if i can find one anyway, but will remove one sooner if it is going to be bad for them constantly scrapping. any thoughts?
 

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