Do you ever feel like quitting?

[BettaMomma]

After this weekend's events - and the death of little Simon, I had a few moments of sheer rage where I wanted to go and rip the guy's head off that was responsible for it. Then I came in to work this morning to see that Charlie (who I thought was recovering nicely from his bout with velvet) has red streaks all over his fins, and unless he works really hard he sort of tips over sideways. I'm guessing he's got some fun internal infection now, which might be causing the streaks and the start of swim bladder problems.

I'm going to have to play musical tanks at home tonight when I get home to make room for new little Petey, which I don't mind at all. But then I also have several water changes to make- some of my plants have either died or come uprooted, and I need to do gravel vacuums on both big tanks. I don't have any problems with doing fishy chores - in fact, I kind of rather enjoy doing them, and I know the fish love the attention.

However, sometimes - when everything happens at once and it seems like so many of my fish are having issues - and then to toss in a very unexpected death just randomly, it sorta throws a monkey wrench into the whole enjoyment of fishkeeping. I've come to realize the sheer ignorance, cruelty and indiference that some humans have toward lots of animals and at times, it seems completely overwhelming and makes me feel completely insignificant in the whole battle overall.

I'm sure that once I get everyone back on track and moved where they need to be, I'll feel better about the whole thing and be right back at what I've been doing all along. But I just wondered if anyone ever felt like tossing in the towel on this whole crusade... and if any of you ever wonder if the heartache is really worth the benefit in the end. I know it is for me - but at times like this I can't help but stop and wonder, just for a few minutes anyway.

Okay, sorry for the ridiculous rant - just had to get it off my chest.

 

[red-devil0602]

Keep your chin up b/m. Do they all REALLY need doing today? take sometime for yourself if you can, you deserve it. go soak in the bath with a glass of wine or something and just chill out
Don't throw in the towel, think of all the lives you have saved and imagine how many are still out there waiting for someone like you

 

[Grim Reaper]

sorry about ur loss but what happen to Simon i am missing something here???

 

[WILDER]

Sorry for your loss, sounds like he had quite a few bacteria deseases on top, bless him, hold in there, it does get better, all of us have a run of bad look at times, but it does turn around again.

 

[mrplaty]

Keep your chin up b/m What you do for these bettas is amazing!!!!! I bet if bettas could talk they would tell you that you are a hero!!!!!

 

[FishEnthusiast]

I agree with Mrplaty on this one. You are an inspiration to us all. Your passion is commendable and I applaud you for all of your efforts. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't let the awful people of the world bring you down. Your fish appreciate you even if the idiots of the world don't appreciate fish. I am soooo sorry to hear about Simon, I was really rooting for him . I really hope you don't give up. When the world throws you lemons, make lemonade.

 

[BettaMomma]

G.R. - here's the post on Simon...
http/www.fishforums.net/index.php?showtopic=90846

I decided to get right back into things, so I went to PetSmart over lunch to get another betta, in honor of Simon, in case they had one that was "worthy". Or, in other words sick or dying. Would you believe there were no sick ones today except one with a minor case of popeye, which I pointed out to them - and then I saw this little guy. He's chocolate brown with blonde fins. VERY beautiful long flowing fins - and the weirdest thing.... his side fins (or flippers as I call them) are long and flowing, too. Something I have never, ever seen on a betta.

It was almost like it was a sign. His flippers look like angel wings. He was sitting right out in the front row like he was waiting just for me.

SOOO.. he's sitting in his little cup here on my desk. I still haven't seen him in clean water - he's in very murky dark meth. blue water right now... I'm going tank shopping after work to find something I can divide off for him and Petey from the wedding. It might even just be a 2.5G minibow, divided.

I still really miss little Simon but this was one of those things that really seemed like there was divine intervention. As WEIRD as it seems - it was almost creepy to me. I will try to post pictures of him later.

 

[red-devil0602]

hey b/m enlarge this and print it off and put it above your betta tanks, and every time you feel this way read it and i am positive this will work I've got these in the house and read them whenever i'm down

"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."



Don't Quit!
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but do not quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Anonymous -

 

[BettaMomma]

Thanks, I will.

 

[Styx]

I know how you feel, there have been a couple times where I have felt the same way, where it seems that everything goes wrong at once and you don't know what to do.

But it'll get better, and you'll be back to enjoying them. So just keep going. :3

 

[OohFeeshy]

Can we have pic of your angel guy? Please! Why not call him.. Gabriel? Or another of the archangels?

 

[BettaMomma]

I will post pics of him within a few hours.
My coworkers are all still here in the office and they all think I'm completely nuts when I am snapping pictures of my fish.

He's the most beautiful fish I have ever seen.

I had thought of naming him something to do with angels, but hadn't really thought of anything very good. Naming him that would be a really great idea.

Thanks for the suggestion.

 

[Kiarra]

Gabriel, Rafael, or Michael. All archangels. He sounds adorable, by the way.

Moments like that, though, when you just feel like quitting.... You have to remember that you are doing good, no matter how hard it may be sometimes...you're making a difference in the life of each and every little individual that comes into your hands. Even if they don't survive, you gave them a chance.

 

[BettaMomma]

Okay - finally.
Here's Gabriel.

And here you can see his "angel wings". I have never seen side fins so large on a betta before...

 

[pjfish]

Bee-yoo-ti-ful!!