The real meaning of Christmas songs

[WhistlingBadger]

Singing some Christmas songs with my kids this week. We stick with the non-religious ones because it's public school, and sometimes I'm struck by how hilariously weird or even disturbing some of these songs are. What were songwriters thinking???
For example:

Rudolf: We love you...as long as you're useful to us.
Frosty the Snowman: Pondering thorny issues of mortality and reincarnation on an unseasonably warm day.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town: I'm filing for a restraining order.
The Twelve Days of Christmas: My true love needs to quit putting peyote in the eggnog. Also: Slavery?
Jingle Bells: The most popular Christmas song doesn't have anything to do with Christmas.
Mr. Grinch: Because we want middle school boys to like Christmas songs, too.
Good King Wenceslas: You can buy a random peasant food and wine and firewood, but you can't afford a decent pair of boots and snow pants for your kid?
O Christmas Tree: It's OK that no one actually knows the lyrics; you can sing the whole song with just the title.
Christmas Time is Here: The sound of fingernails on a chalkboard + Nostalgia for simpler times + a smooth jazz backing track = Christmas classic!
The Little Drummer Boy: How to really NOT bless the mother of a newborn.
We Wish You A Merry Christmas: We ain't leavin' until you fork over the sweets, grandma!

I'm sure there are others, but that's enough to go on for now...

 

[GaryE]

My favourite is "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen". I love the tune and it gets into my head, but what a self satisfied smug Victorian the writer of that one must have been.

My nephew used to earnestly sing Silent Night about "Cheesies, Lord at thy birth", and the same song produced, in 'Olive the Other Reindeer', an xmas special character named "Round John Virgin".

I'm not sure anyone really listens to the lyrics in Christmas songs, even as they sing them. When I was a kid I wondered what a "one horse soaping sleigh" could be. I'm much more concerned about the horrible versions I hear in retail stores. Who are these singers, and who is paying them money to kill tunes like that

 

[TwoTankAmin]

 

[otterblue]

Not to mention the horror of some nursery rhymes.

 

[TwoTankAmin]

The Twelve Gifts of Christmas - Allan Sherman 1963