I Have No1 Really To Talk 2, I Hope You Dont Mind Me Posting

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Fish Crazy
Apr 23, 2006
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Leicester ( uk )
Hay Guys,

I really really hope you guys dont mind me posting this on here, but I have need to advice or help off you guys as you guys are really the only people I talk to, either fish wise or in general....lol

My Cousin was 24 weeks pregnant (6months) and went into Labour yesterday, She gave birth to a baby boy that didn't survive and he was so perfect and pretty, small and beautiful.

Today was the blessing of him, and i didnt cope at all, Im angry because I'm feeling sad and upset and feel as its not my place to be upset... It has broken my heart as my cousin wanted him so badly, and now she and her partner are left without there baby!!!

Again i am sorry for this post if anyone has been upset or affended but I just wanted to know if this is the normal way I should be feeling, (upset,hurting) and if it gets any better.

Thank you for reading this guys, its not a sypathy (spelling wrong sorry) vote, I just feel so bad and dont want to talk about this to my family as they are not coping either.

Cheers Hot_Hazza3
What your feeling is perfectly normal for anyone loosing a relative or close friend.

It does hurt, and is extremely normal, it shows you care. Youre huting for the baby and your cousin.

It does get better after a while, but you will never forget that baby im sure. Time truly is a healer.
Good Luck for you and your cousin.
I am so sorry for you and your family's loss. I can't even imagine the pain you must feel and that is completely normal. No one can say they know how you feel and nothing we can say can make you feel better, but this forum is a wonderful place that goes beyond just fish, the people here truly do care about each other. There is nothing any of of can say to make you feel better after such a devastating loss, but there is always someone here who is willing to listen.

My deepest consolences and prayers to you and your family.
I'm so sorry, that's terrible. Anger and sorrow and regret are part of the grieving process, it's just the way you have to feel for a while, there's no time on it that I can say "you'll feel better in x amount of weeks/months" - you just have to feel that way until you don't feel that way anymore.

I lost my first baby and almost lost my second. It's a very raw pain. I can direct you to websites that deal just with baby loss if you need them, I wouldn't have survived if I hadn't had other people to talk to that know how I felt.

Hugs xx
My deepest consolences and prayers to you and your family. I almost lost both my boys, to different things when they were born, and just the thought of loosing them still breaks my heart. I can't imagine how your cousin feels. It is normal to feel sorrow, even when he's not your baby, because you are still linked to him. :-( Although it doesn't work for everyone, talking can help you get through.
Guys, I just wanted to say a big big thank you for everyone who has read and posted back to me, It's also nice to know that I'm not the only one out there that has felt that same and are willing to help/talk with me!!!

It's just so unreal as you think it would never happen to anyone in your own family...But like i said to my cousin " God and my Gran must have realised he was an Angel and wanted him sitting by their side"

Thanx again guys H

xxx :) xxx
you are not alone on here as you already know,its hard to know what to say after something so unexpected happens, feel free to pm me if you like anytime, donna.
Hot_hazza, i'm hoping anyone who looses ANYBODY doesn't cope right off the bat. No matter who it is everyone feels bad, and when it something like this it's 20 times worse.

Everyone's lost many many many people in their lives, somehow they cope a little but of course there's still a lot of pain they have to deal with from time to time. Like me for one, one person I lost was my cousin wade, he was only about 20 and I was 4, but I remember him clear as day and he was my rolemodel, then one day he committed suicide. I didn't stop crying for about a month afterwards, eventually I came to the fact that he was dead; I somewhat coped with it. And get this..about 11 years later I just start remembering him and can't get it out of my mind. There were a few weeks were I was so depressed..because of something that happened 11 years ago.

You do somewhat "get over it" in a very small way..but they still stick with you. It's a sad part of life but it's never going to stop. I hope your family can pull through this all! We all know it's not easy, and i'm hoping my post doesn't sound mean or crude lol.
flamingonhot thank you and donna to, its nice to know there are some people who care and your right here on this forum its great... I have been to c my cousin and she seems a bit better but its all a face front for everyone....the funeral is on thurday of this week coming so that will be the hardest part and also the closure to it all, even tho the pain ,thoughts, and memories will last for a long long time x
Awww, I'm so sorry to hear that. :sad: The loss of a family member, especially a little one, is a terrible thing. I know there's nothing I can really say to make you feel better, but my thoughts and prayers are with you and your's. And of course, if you ever want to talk about anything, feel free to PM me, email me...whatever.
I'm so sorry to hear your loss. Grief is odd, I reckon, in that you can react in ways you don't even understand yourself. How you're feeling is completely normal, and with time it will get easier.

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