There are several colour variant of honey gourami. With the wild colour, the female is paler than the male, but with the yellow and red variants the female is brightly coloured like the male.
How long have you had the fish? The one in the first photo looks very pale and is either very stressed or a colour variant I've not seen before.
Are there any behaviour differences? Having kept honeys for many years I can usually spot males and females by their behaviour though it's difficult to explain. Males tend to be more perky, alert and looking round the tank, while females tend to be more laid back and spend a lot of time just wandering round or scouring the bottom of the tank for morsels of food.
Fins. I've read on various websites that you can tell males from females by their fin shape, but that didn't always apply to my honeys. Look at the end of the fin near the tail. In a female, the end of the fin is supposed to go straight up while with a male, it is supposed to go back further, then come back in to where it's attached to the body. This is a terrible drawing to show you what to look for
Do either of them ever have a darker stripe from nose to tail? That is more likely in a female though very stressed males sometimes have a stripe.