Torn fins ( male and female).

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Erebus

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I have a 10 gallon with a rainbow half-moon male and a red half-moon female, other tank mates include, 1 dwarf clown pleco, 2 nerite snails, 5 neon tetras ( 2 black neon, a and 3 regular). 6 ghost shrimp. Aquarium setup is smooth gravel, planted ( 5 red Ludwig, 6 money wart, 6 unknown stem plants, 2 jungle vall, moss ball spred out in a carpet), 4 medium natural stones making caves, 1 piece of drift wood spanning the gap between the stones and the plastic wood cave. I had a wisper in-tank filter with a medium air curtain. Two days ago I changed filtration from the in-tank filter to an under-gravel filter, at the time every one in the tank got along fine, every once in a while the bettas would chase each other not attacking each other ( the female chase him and he would chase her or vice versa, never nipping at each other, the male would ocationaly flare at the female, she doesn't flare back nor has she ever flared at him yet, I'm told that that means she is ready to mate, they even ate side by side.). After I finished with the filter and planting and the decor, I put the fish back in ( I had puled both bettas out of the tank and into a holding tank together, and the rest were all together in a separate holding tank, I put the community fish in the tank first then added the two bettas at the same time), there was no trouble in the holding tank with them alone. the next morning I found the female swimming around but with fin damage ( tares in the tail and belly fins, not realy bad at all just one tare in each fin), so I took both out at the same time and put into separate holding tanks for the night, then added them back in the tank one at a time first the female then after about 30 to 40 min I added the male, after that it seemed that everything was back to normal for about 6 hours then I had an hour long meeting in town, when I got back home my males fins were shredded, I didn't understand how, female was very intimidated by him now and would be very wary when going any where neer him, and the other fish seemed to not bother him at all. then I watched for the next few hours nothing surprising just him chasing her more than normal ( still no nipping at her just chaseing her). today I watched more and longer this time and found out that while he is chasing her he has no care of how small the cave is he is following her through or the gap between driftwood and stone.

I understand that I probably played a big role in how he is treating her lately, I just want my tank back to the way it was, she still trys to swim with him and once in a while he alows it, then after a while the swim turns into a chase, same goes with them eating he alows it then a chase insues afterward but not while there eating. what can I do to try and get things back in order agiain. I don't have the means to separate them, my other tank is ocupied by two large gold fish (6 years ago they were wall-mart feeder fish) I'm afraid that he or she will get eaten I separate them in to two tanks.
 
I'm afraid bettas are territorial and once they decide they're not going to get along, your only option is to separate them.
 

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